Random Posts of Ham

Calling It Quits

2009-03-21T16:49:00.003-04:00

I'm going to stop posting on here for the foreseeable future. Sites like Facebook have pretty much rendered the standalone blog unnecessary. Anyone who's ever followed this site is almost certainly a FB friend so it just makes sense to shift my focus. It was a good time while it lasted.

That Jean-Luc Picard

2009-03-04T15:17:00.002-05:00

Blogger's Note: This had me laughing to the point of tears. The editing is brilliant.

Chewbacca Cabinet

2009-02-26T21:48:00.006-05:00

Guys Cabinet Door Sounds Exactly like Chewbacca! - watch more funny videos

(Thanks to Sebastian for sharing)

Colbert Dials Up 1997

2009-02-26T16:21:00.001-05:00

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

1997 Flashback

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Political Humor

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

"ER" Is Very Intense

2009-02-26T12:21:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

(Thanks to Greg for sharing)

You're Fired

2009-02-25T12:49:00.004-05:00

(Thanks to Bryan for sharing)

This is Pretty Accurate

2009-02-19T11:35:00.002-05:00

(thanks to Cookie for sharing)

The People Vs. George Lucas

2009-02-18T16:49:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to Cookie for the link)

Some Pictures You Shouldn't Laugh At

2009-02-17T23:46:00.003-05:00

"This Is Inhumane!"

2009-02-17T11:15:00.002-05:00

Blogger's Note: I once saw Cookie react in a similar fashion when they didn't have her rental car ready.

This Guy Really Likes Bon Jovi

2009-02-14T18:22:00.003-05:00

Something To Consider When Booking Your Next Flight

2009-02-13T12:29:00.001-05:00

Darth After The Dentist

2009-02-11T16:28:00.001-05:00

Women Drivers

2009-02-10T14:51:00.001-05:00

I'll let the video speak for itself...

(thanks to Jeremy for the link)

New From Sony

2009-02-10T14:27:00.000-05:00

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

The Hammys

2009-02-08T23:40:00.002-05:00

Here are my favorite albums from the past year...

(in alphabetical order)
At Mount Zoomer - Wolf Parade
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Narrow Stairs - Death Cab for Cutie
Oraclular Spectacular - MGMT
Sleep Well - Electric President
The Stand Ins - Okkervil River
Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
Walk It Off - Tapes n' Tapes

After The Dentist

2009-02-07T01:47:00.002-05:00

Blogger's Note: Man, if I had a kid I would drug him up all the time!

I Wish!

2009-02-03T11:52:00.002-05:00

This May Be My Favorite Movie Poster Ever

2009-01-30T12:30:00.001-05:00

Batman Playing His Own Video Game

2009-01-28T22:52:00.003-05:00

(Thanks to Topher for turning me onto this)

How's This For Irony?

2009-01-27T23:50:00.001-05:00

The Fresh Prince Theme: Gangsta Version

2009-01-26T23:53:00.005-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Oh, But It Sounds So Tasty!

2009-01-26T16:48:00.001-05:00

Men's Health magazine has released its annual "Worst Foods" list. Scoring the top spot as the absolute worst food in the country? A large Chocolate Oreo Shake from Baskin Robbins. This bad boy has 2,600 calories, 135 grams of fat (59 of which are saturated), 263 grams of sugar and 1,700 milligrams of sodium.

24's Most Ludicrous Moments

2009-01-26T12:47:00.004-05:00

24 has always had as many ridiculous moments as it has awesome ones. On many occasions the moments were just ridiculously awesome. And that's why we love it. This contains some plot stuff so if that's an issue, you probably shouldn't read on. For the rest of us, let's reminisce.

Kim as a CTU Computer Specialist (Day 3)
Kim Bauer, the boy crazy high school dropout who once allowed a strange man to lead her to his mountain lair alone in the middle of the night, and who once escaped a murderer only to return to his house to get some stuff and almost get murdered for the second time in one day, by the same person, who gets taken hostage if you look at her wrong, and whose dumb ass stupidity is inarguably responsible for some of the most retarded 24 subplots in the show's history, is made a CTU analyst, entrusted with highly sensitive intelligence, and the safety of countless lives. Makes sense.

The Drazens Try to Coerce Jack Into Killing Senator Palmer in the Most Elaborate Revenge Plot Ever Hatched By Anyone (Day 1)
Oh no! Jack killed Victor Drazen! Several years ago! And David Palmer made him do it! And now Jack and Palmer must pay! Even though, why? It happened several years ago! Why not make them pay several years ago? And instead of just killing these two people (this was Season 1 after all, it's not like Andre and Alexis Drazen were yet aware of Jack's indestructibility), Victor Drazen's sons hatch a plan to kidnap Jack's wife and daughter and use them as leverage to make Jack assassinate Palmer, thus ending Palmer and dooming Jack to a lifetime prison sentence in order to avenge their father -- who didn't even turn out to be dead, by the way -- in the most ludicrously elaborate kill-two-birds-with-one-stone reasoning since the CIA's much-fabled "Dissolve Castro's beard. Take over Cuba. End communism" plan. That one failed too, surprisingly.

Mercenaries Would Prefer to Rape the Hot 17-Year-Old, But Will Settle for the Middle-Aged Soccer Mom Instead if Asked Politely (Day 1)
This may not be the most pleasant topic in 24 history, but it is definitely one of the most ludicrous, so here it is. In the midst of the Day 1 drama, Teri and Kim were abducted by a group of mercenaries, and one of their captors subsequently decided he'd like to have his way with Kim, because she is played by Elisha Cuthbert, who is hot, and he has a gun, so he can. Teri understandably doesn't want that to happen, so she does the only thing she can think of: offer herself instead. And this genius plan actually works. It may have saved the audience a great deal of cringing, but no way would any stone cold mercenary rapist choose Teri over Kim just because he was asked nicely.

Kim and That Damn Cougar (Day 2)
In between causing her police transport to crash and briefly shacking up with a lonely woodsman played by Johnny Drama -- literally, in his shack -- because he easily convinced her the world had ended, Kim Bauer found a way to stick her foot in a cougar trap. This aroused the attention of the cougar that had apparently been lying in wait for annoying story diversions to get caught in the trap meant for it, and Kim was bullied by a cougar for a while, because apparently some 24 writer stumbled across that plethora of Jack Bauer-meets-Beastmaster internet fan fiction and thought, "hey, awesome! This show is in need of more random ridiculousness!"

Tony Dies in Jack's Arms (Day 5), Tony Rises from the Dead (Day 7)
Tony's quite bad ass and all, but the only character who can feasibly drop dead and miraculously come back to life without a problem is Jack, and even he was only dead for a few seconds when he kicked it in Season 2. Tony, on the other hand, died from an overdose of a made up 24-verse chemical compound, was dead for 10 whole minutes, was miraculously revived, and, because he suffered no brain damage from being dead for 10 minutes, somehow, he managed to stay hidden from Jack effing Bauer for god knows how many years before showing up out of nowhere one day to hack all of the government's computers with a magical, made up device. Which may just be the most ludicrous thing that's ever happened on the show.

Teri Gets Amnesia (Day 1)
Giving a character amnesia in this day and age is just about the most objectionable plot device a television writer can use, especially when it's for no discernible reason. Which is what happened here. Teri thought Kim died, so her brain just kind of… erased itself. Which happens. The good news is that a little while later she was attacked again and her brain instantly recovered all of its files, because the brain totally works like that! And in between those two miracles she just kind of wandered around, asking questions and being confused, which in no way furthered the story or warranted such a dated and ludicrous stunt.

Jack is Surprisingly Good with the Developmentally Disabled (Day 6)
Jack Bauer's not really a guy who's known for his patient and nurturing soul. Which is why it was surprising when he was so comforting and understanding when interacting with a severely autistic nuclear bomb maker (yeah, that's a problem too) who was almost too stressed out about his wounded brother to participate in Jack's very important impromptu sting operation. And pretty unnecessary, actually. But the point is, Jack put on that soothing Sutherland timbre and babied him off the ledge with promises and child molester-y statements like "I'm not a stranger; I'm a police officer." Then he made the guy risk his life in an impromptu sting operation, and he got all kinds of shot at. The end. And that's how Jack Bauer (ludicrously) does Hallmark movies. Suck on that, Riding the Bus with My Sister.

A Super Clamp Leaves Jack with No Choice But to Hack Chase's Hand Off and Stick It in a Refrigerator for Safety Reasons (Day 3)
Poor, heroic Chase. When he realized the last vial of the impending mass pandemic of doom, the Cordilla Virus, was within his reach, he clamped it to himself so that it couldn't be released. The problem was, it wasn't an ordinary clamp. It was a super clamp! A super clamp so super not even Jack Bauer could remove it, so, with Chase's noble blessing, Jack improvised and chopped Chase's hand off, virus and all, and simply tossed it in a sealed location we all know as a "refrigerator." Which worked just as well as super clamping it to himself, but hey, Chase took the road less traveled.

President Palmer is Removed from Office for Being Hesitant to Start a Massive War Over Potentially Nothing (Day 2)
Much of Day 2's action centered around the "Cyprus recording," which was a recorded conversation between a terrorist group and some officials from various Middle Eastern countries discussing how they're totally going to nuke Los Angeles together. Holy crap, let's invade 'em, right?! Not so fast, said President David Palmer, who was being a total buzzkill, and asking for some liberal-ass "proof" that the voices on the recording were actually the officials they claimed to be before starting a war with a bunch of scary countries. Well, apparently the Founding Fathers foresaw a situation like this occurring, and made being a buzzkill a possible interpretation of just cause to remove a President from office, via the 25th Amendment, which is usually thought to be appropriate only for when Presidents are in a coma, but whatever. Palmer was removed from office briefly, and waddyaknow? The recording did turn out to be a fake, and he was reinstated, lesson never to disagree with anyone ever again fully learned.

Marwan Manages to Steal a Stealth Fighter from a US Air Base and Shoot Down Air Force One With It, and Both the President and the Nuclear Football Survive. (Day 4)
Look, we've never stolen a stealth fighter from a US Air Base, so maybe it's not as hard as it sounds. And hey, this is 24, and the impossible happens here! So, say Marwan was able to essentially hot-wire a stealth bomber from one of the U.S. military's proverbial parking garages. That we can accept. And it's not like we've ever shot down Air Force One, but that sounds like it's pretty hard too, especially when it's with a stealth bomber you've just stolen from a U.S. Air Base, and considering all of Air Force One's impressive evasive capabilities as demonstrated in the Harrison Ford caper, Air Force One. So that's all pretty unlikely and all, but hey, it could happen. It's 24! So you steal the stealth bomber somehow, you figure out Air Force One's flight coordinates, stealth flight on up to it using your stealth capabilities (that you'd think Air Force One would be outfitted to detect, considering it's a U.S. plane), manage to hit it, and it crashes -- everyone dies inside, right? Everyone but the President and his suitcase full of nuclear launch codes, that is! Insane. While those events were pretty cool to see, so are a lot of things one can find in a third grader's creative writing assignment, which is what it sounded like.

(from televisionwithoutpity.com. Also, thanks to Greg for the link)

A Fair Comparison

2009-01-23T12:53:00.002-05:00

Eliza Dushku Is Hot

2009-01-23T10:33:00.002-05:00

Conversations With Bryan

2009-01-22T10:25:00.007-05:00

From a Meebo conversation with Bryan this morning...

Torrey: so one of the survivors of that plane crash last week is on Bonnie
Torrey: and he's talking about how "god guided that pilot and that plane down safely"
Torrey: I hate stuff like that. why did god allow the birds to fly into the engines in the first place
Bryan: well they did say those were jewish geese
Torrey: LOL

Top 10 Things We'll Miss About Him

2009-01-21T12:35:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to Brent for the link)

Best Fast Food Promotion Since "I'd Hit That"

2009-01-18T13:34:00.004-05:00

In a rather ill-conceived promotional idea from KFC, Battlestar Galactica fans have an opportunity to win a collection of prizes called the "Frak Pak." Any BSG fan knows that "frak" is a made-up word used in the show to replace the word "fuck." So essentially, KFC is promoting a "Fuck Pak."

Is This Too Close?

2009-01-15T23:30:00.000-05:00

These guys are good sports.

My Kind Of Picnic

2009-01-15T12:34:00.001-05:00

Invigorating America's Youth

2009-01-15T11:29:00.001-05:00

I have not seen this before...

I've Always Liked You, Al Franken. And This Is Why

2009-01-07T12:14:00.000-05:00

24 in 24 Words

2009-01-07T11:48:00.004-05:00

For those who want to catch up on 24 before the premiere this Sunday (or for those needing a refresher), the peeps at Metromix summed up each season of 24 in 24 words or less.

SEASON ONE

Andre Drazen: Pops, it's David Palmer.
Victor Drazen: Kill him.
Jack Bauer: I don't think so.
Teri Bauer: Jack, I love y–[BANG!]
Jack: Nooooooooo!

SEASON TWO

To Do:

8am: Reconcile with Kim
10am: Blow up CTU
12pm: Long lunch
6pm: Fly nuke out of LA
12am: Kill oil executives
8am: Spa day

SEASON THREE

From: Bauer.Kim@CTU.gov
To: Bauer.Jack@CTU.gov

Hey Daddy, thx for the new job! BTW I'm dating your partner. FYI, ur Mexican drug buddies accidentally mailed something 're: totally deadly virus.'

SEASON FOUR

Coroner's Log, Thursday

Secret Service agents, COD – Gunshot Wounds
20 Train Passengers, COD – Explosion
Thousands of Civilians, COD – Radiation Poisoning
257 terrorists, COD – Pissed off Jack Bauer

SEASON FIVE

Memorandum
From: Attorney General.

-Sale of nerve gas to terrorists is now legal.
-Conspiracy to kill Russian president is OK.
-Jack Bauer on top 10 most wanted list.

SEASON SIX

Director's Notes:

• Needs big explosion every hour
• Needs more Bauers
• Kill off everyone but Jack
• Kill Jack too
• (Kidding!)
• Everyone take 12 months off
• Tick, Tock

Choose Your Own Adventure

2008-12-28T21:52:00.002-05:00

Jib Jab's Year In Review

2008-12-28T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well This Is Encouraging

2008-12-28T10:49:00.001-05:00

The United States has overtaken Germany to become the largest producer of wind energy in the world, generating enough capacity to eliminate the burning of 91 million barrels of oil per year.

According to the American Wind Energy Association (AWEA), US wind producers enjoyed another record year of growth in 2008—the third in a row. The country now has an installed wind power capacity well in excess of 21,000 megawatts (MW), enough to supply electricity to over 5.5 million American homes.

According to Randall Swisher, AWEA Executive DIrector, “Wind energy installations are well ahead of the curve for contributing 20% of the U.S. electric power supply by 2030 as envisioned by the U.S. Department of Energy.”

Amazingly, this rapid progress was achieved under a governing administration that to many seemed, at best, indifferent to the plight of the renewable energy industry. If the US wind power industry is capable of becoming a world-leader during such times, it seems quite likely that the picture could improve even further with a more sympathetic leader at the helm.

(from cleantechnica.com)

And In Other TV News...

2008-12-25T21:40:00.003-05:00

USA Today's Top 10 Best TV Shows of 2008

Mad Men (AMC)
Lost (ABC)
Pushing Daisies (ABC)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
True Blood (HBO)
Fringe (FOX)
The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
Dexter (Showtime)
Breaking Bad (AMC)

And their five runners-up:

30 Rock (NBC)
The Mentalist (CBS)
CSI (CBS)
Eli Stone (ABC)
Little Britian USA (HBO)

Various other superlatives:

"Gone Too Soon"
Pushing Daisies (ABC)

"Gone, Never To Be Forgotten"
The Wire (HBO)

"Gone Plain Nuts"
Grey's Anatomy (ABC)

"Odd Trend Of The Year"
Dating the dead.

"Worst Show Of The Year"
The Baby Borrowers (NBC)

"The Rest Of The Worst"
The Moment of Truth (FOX)
Knight Rider (NBC)
My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
Kath & Kim (NBC)
Momma's Boys (NBC)
House of Payne (TBS)
Related Blogger's Note: Man, I'm glad I don't work with NBC.

"Best TV Special Not On TV"
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"TV Star Of The Year"
Tina Fey

Top 10 Most Pirated TV Shows of 2008

2008-12-25T20:53:00.001-05:00

01) Lost
02) Heroes
03) Prison Break
04) Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
05) Desperate Housewives
06) Stargate Atlantis
07) Dexter
08) House
09) Grey's Anatomy
10) Smallville

(from torrentfreak)

Blogger's Note: I find it interesting that 8 of the 10 most pirated shows are aired on free network television.

But Who Will Choreograph The Oscars?

2008-12-23T15:25:00.005-05:00

If you're still looking for a New Year's resolution, consider focusing your efforts on stopping the gays.

Pope Benedict said on Monday that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

(info from reuters)

Merry Christmas, Batman

2008-12-23T15:21:00.001-05:00

Happy Festivus!

2008-12-23T10:49:00.003-05:00

How Festivus was born...

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born … a Festivus for the rest of us!

Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some kind of doll.

Frank Costanza: She was.

"Star Wars" - An A Cappella Tribute To John Williams

2008-12-22T22:06:00.002-05:00

Blogger's Note: I guess this has been around for a little while but it's the first I've seen of it.

Dude, Look Out!

2008-12-22T15:47:00.002-05:00

Crazy Dice Stacking

2008-12-22T15:39:00.001-05:00

Unbelievable Dice Stacking - Watch more free videos

It's A Ham World, After All

2008-12-19T11:12:00.002-05:00

Thanks, Brent.

We Want Santa!

2008-12-19T10:04:00.002-05:00

They showed this clip on Bonnie the other day. I crack up everytime I watch it.

O, meh

2008-12-19T00:09:00.004-05:00

Here's what Ben Kuchera, Gaming Editor for Ars Technica, has to say about Sony's "Home" for the Playstation 3...

Imagine if all the sexist idiots from Xbox Live suddenly had 3D avatars and sat around a movie theater that looped the trailer for Twilight, hoping a woman walks in so they can compliment her breasts and then dance around her. Imagine a version of Second Life where you couldn't create anything, but you're welcome to buy a new Diesel shirt or wait in line to play chess. This is supposed to be Sony's answer to Xbox Live, a way for gamers to socialize and hang out. The problem is you don't actually want to know most of the gamers who play online, and you certainly don't want to be forced to spend time with them in any kind of physical space, even if it is virtual physical space. If that's even possible.

He also shared the following comments from the site's forum:

"So I'm wondering, did Sony maybe remove voice chat because of how vulgar things were getting? I don't know if you all heard the same things I was, but it was getting bad. From the closed beta to what we have now, Home has become one ****ing hostile **** place," Onyx wrote. "Yeah, this was all to be expected, but from the closed Beta to now it's turned the Home experience closer to walking through the worst part of town. You can't walk far without finding people yelling obscene crap back and forth. So maybe they're tweaking the default voice settings, because Sony is going to have a real problem selling this world to families."

Another commenter described Home as "a corporate dystopia," saying "you're only able to express yourself if you're willing to pay."

Pew Pew, Pew Pew

2008-12-18T23:27:00.001-05:00

For some reason I felt compelled to post this for Jeremy.

Best & Worst TV Moments of 2008

2008-12-18T10:45:00.004-05:00

Warning: Some of these contain plot elements from shows that aired this year. If you're behind on your DVR or waiting for the DVD set, you may want to avert your eyes.

BEST: Sarah Silverman lands Matt Damon; Jimmy Kimmel retaliates
In late January, Sarah Silverman made a joke video for then-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel, informing him (in no uncertain terms) that she was having an intimate relationship with actor Matt Damon. Funnyman Kimmel then shot back with a little video valentine of his own, in which he informed Silverman that he too was having an affair. With Ben Affleck.

WORST: All of 'Rosie Live!'
It's not you, Rosie. It was "Rosie Live!" Somewhere between the awkward opening with Liza Minelli, a pie-in-the-face bit with Conan O'Brien and a surprise appearance by Clay Aiken (in "Monty Python" garb), O'Donnell's plans to revive the weekly variety show as a viable format died a quick death.

BEST: The Michael Scott-Holly rap in ‘The Office’
Poor Michael Scott. He’s the boss of Dunder Mifflin, but he gets less than no respect from his inferiors; they don’t even laugh at his jokes. Well, Michael finally met his match in new employee Holly. Not only is she pretty, she also shares Michael’s, er, questionable sense of humor, as evidenced by this rap.

WORST: Denny's (latest) return on 'Grey's Anatomy'
The love story between Dr. Izzie Stevens and patient Denny Duquette was touching in season 2 and when he died it was downright heartbreaking. But now in season 5, seeing him as a figment of Izzie's hallucination is over the top and hard to watch. Times TV critic Mary McNamara says it best: "Even the most dedicated "Grey's" fan has had her ... faith rattled to the point of simple bone weariness." Sad, but true.

BEST: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler put on their best Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton
It was the first time we saw Fey as the Alaska governor who can see Russia from her house. It was kind of scary, to be honest. A little too close to the real thing. (Ditto the pair's later recreation of Palin's interview with Katie Couric.) But nothing on "Saturday Night Live" has made us laugh as hard since.

WORST: The sad demise of Michael on "Lost"
The fourth season of this increasingly complex puzzle box of a series was a triumph in many ways, from its ability to adapt to the strike-shortened schedule to its never-ending ability to surprise with narrative zig-zags. But one element left fans scratching their heads. After e left the island at the end of the second season, many speculated about the fate of Michael (Harold Perrineau). Did he reach the mainland? Did he live happily ever after with his son? The answer came this season, with Michael returning on a freighter as a spy for the series' evil mastermind, Ben. But just when it appeared his fuller role was coming to fruition, he got blown to kingdom come. Why did they bring him back only to kill him again so soon, fans wondered. Perrineau wondered the same thing in a widely distributed interview with TV Guide.

BEST: 'Desperate Housewives' make a five-year leap
It could have been a jump-the-shark moment, but instead, "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry's time jump reinvigorated a show that was already on a Dana Delaney-juiced high. It separated lovebirds Susan and Mike, made Bree into a Martha Stewart-esque mogul, gave Tom and Lynnette some problematic teenagers, and rounded out Gaby literally and figuratively.

WORST: ‘Real’ artists ragging on reality hosts
Things got very tense very fast at this year’s Emmy awards, when a group of reality TV hosts were tapped to emcee the festivities. Howie Mandell, Ryan Seacrest, Jeff Probst, Tom Bergeron and Heidi Klum starred in a flat and awkward opening sketch about having no script to read from. Emmy winner Jeremy Piven said of the bit, "I thought we were being punked." Oh, lighten up, Pivs.

BEST: Sylar sawing Claire’s head open on "Heroes"
In an otherwise meh season, the premiere of "Heroes" gave viewers hope. Gabriel Sylar, the killer, finally found Claire, the cheerleader, alone at home. He stalked her, trapped her, then finally got what he wanted -- her brain. Well, a piece anyway, and yeah, she can heal from anything so she was fine. But now Sylar can't be killed and has a smorgasbord of powered people to choose from. That put a whole new wrinkle in the program.

WORST: Britney Spears attempts Video Music Awards comeback No. 2....and that's it?
No surprise boas or striptease performances. No surprise smooches with fellow pop stars. Instead we got Britney in a lame opening sketch with otherwise funny actor Jonah Hill, and a welcome address that ran less than a minute long. Don't get us wrong, we're loving "Circus," but during the 2008 MTV VMAs we kind of missed crazy Britney.

BEST: David Letterman tears into John McCain for bailing on 'Late Show' appearance
Don't stand Dave up. And don't tell him you're on your way to D.C. to help with the financial bailout plan if you're really just prepping to talk instead to Katie Couric. Dave will bury you: “I was thinking about this – John, John, here’s how it works: You don’t come to see me … you don’t come to see me? Well, we might not see you on Inauguration Day. That’s how it works. You see?”

BEST: Finding Earth on ‘Battlestar Galactica’
It's always good to have a goal, and since the show started and the Cylons bombed the 12 Colonies, this has been the aim of the "Battlestar Galactica" and its surrounding vessels. Yay?Is it Earth? If it is, what the heck happened? What will the humans do about the Cylons? Frak, there's still more to learn.

BEST: Paula Abdul’s moment of confusion on ‘American Idol’
Paula Abdul’s wacky demeanor has long amused “American Idol” fans, but the petite judge outdid herself this season, when assessing dredlocked contestant Jason Castro's performance."First song, I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear,” Abdul told Castro. "The second song, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty."There was just one problem: Castro had only performed one song. "Just on the first song, just the first one," Randy Jackson corrected, as the audience let out a collective “huh?”

WORST: Padma Lakshmi spits out dessert on 'Top Chef'
Look at that face. Do you want to see that face gagging up food? Up close? The producers of Bravo's culinary competition should have known better. Sure, it was priceless to see Ariane's too too sweet dessert trigger the former model's upchuck reflex, but did they really need to zoom in when she reached for the napkin? Probably not.

BEST: The final season of 'The Shield,' start to finish
It was like a 13-hour climax, watching Vic Mackey's world crumble around him, the tragic results of Shane's "family meeting," a shocked Ronnie getting comeuppance after blindly following for so long. And then the series' final moment where Vic's brave front finally relents and four lonesome minutes of guilt set in. Pure TV watching satisfaction.

BEST: The continued evolution of the relationship betwen Eric and Tami Taylor on 'Friday Night Lights.'
"Friday Night Lights" has always nailed the difficulty in maintaining an adult relationship. This season, as the show airs on DirecTV, has been no different. The promotion of Tami to principal has added a new dynamic to the very real marriage, as Eric has been forced to adjust to a new role. "You know who I miss? I miss the coach's wife," he said early in this season. Rather than get angry, Tami does him one better. "You know who I can't wait to meet? The principal's husband."

WORST: Former siblings Justin and Rebecca get romantic on 'Brothers & Sisters'
We know, we know. Rebecca was never technically Justin's sister. And yes, you could see the move coming from a mile away. (Both of them are young and hot. What else is a primetime soap opera to do?) Still, Justin and Rebecca operated as siblings for the better part of an entire season and the weirdness of seeing them jump each other, frankly, has never gone away.

BEST: Nene and Kim throw down during 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' reunion
After would-be country star Kim revealed that her on-and-off mystery man, known on the show as "Big Papa," wasn't exactly single, former best friend Nene took aim: "Close your legs to married men, Kim. Close your legs to married men. Close your legs to married men." It was way, way, way better than anything that ever went down between Lauren and Heidi.

BEST: 'The Wire' says goodbye
For five seasons, you were told that "The Wire" was the best show on TV you weren't watching. Perhaps you caught up with the series on DVD midway through its run or perhaps you shunned it -- too complex, too dark, too heavy. Either way, the series conclusion in March was reason to rejoice. For the fans, it was that rare accomplishment of a great series that was able to go out on its own terms without descending into self-parody. Officer McNulty looking out over the Baltimore skyline while the fates of the diverse cast were played out in montage was stirring, appropriate and a little sad in its unflinching reality. For the non-fans, the burden of guilt had been lifted. Finally, you could TiVo "Rock of Love" without shame.

(from latimes.com)

It's For The Rest Of Us!

2008-12-14T17:51:00.003-05:00

Festivus, the holiday celebration popularized by the television show Seinfeld, has been granted a display at the Washington state Capitol.

When atheists placed a competing display to the nativity scene at the Washington state Capitol, it made for an odd story. It is only the second state capitol with an atheist display. The Festivus display turns an odd story even odder.

Festivus was originally created by writer Dan O’Keefe and popularized by his son Daniel in a Seinfeld episode. Festivus is becoming something more a Seinfeld episode, however. Festivus is celebrated December 23 with an “Airing of Grievances,” “Feats of Strength” and a Festivus pole. Here are a few examples of its celebration:

In 2005, Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle was presented with a Festivus pole that he displayed in his living room that holiday season.

In 2007, a Festivus pole was put up at Green Bay’s City Hall in response to a Nativity scene.

On December 5 of this year, Five Points, a neighborhood in Columbia, South Carolina held a Festivus parade with a grand marshal, dogs decorated in Christmas lights, Airing of Grievances and plenty of Festivus poles.

According to Festivusbook.com, celebrations aren’t only in the U.S., but in Canada and Europe too.

(from foolocracy.com)

My Wife Would Like That

2008-12-13T10:26:00.003-05:00

I dunno gang, I guess this thing is for real.

John Stewart Discusses Gay Marriage With Mike Huckabee

2008-12-10T12:23:00.004-05:00

Fantastic Interview.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

(thanks to Greg for the link)

You Go On, I Have This Under Control

2008-12-10T07:37:00.002-05:00

This One Is For The Straight Guys [updated]

2008-12-10T00:18:00.008-05:00

10 Chick Flicks That Actually Don't Suck

10) The Craft
09) Love & Basketball
08) Mean Girls
07) Set It Off
06) Clueless
05) Shrek
04) Gia
03) Out Of Sight
02) Knocked Up
01) Bound

(from king-mag.com)

Blogger's Note: Mean Girls honestly does not suck!

[update] It seems appropriate to form our own list of "Chick Flicks That Don't Suck." As you can see, the person who created this list added many titles that simply feature scenes that a typical straight guy would find appealing. As Greg put it, in the case of Gia, "girl-on-girl does not = chick flick."

Here are the suggestions so far:

Mean Girls
When Harry Met Sally
Sleepless In Seattle
The Devil Wears Prada
You've Got Mail
Love Actually
Four Weddings And A Funeral
Notting Hill
The Princess Bride

Please leave more of your suggested titles in the comment section and I'll add them to the list. BTW, I realize I'm not a straight guy but I do own both The Rock and Con Air on Blu-Ray so suck it, I'm contributing.

The Top 10 Quotes Of 2008

2008-12-08T12:14:00.003-05:00

1) "It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America."
—Barack Obama, U.S. President-elect, during his victory speech in Chicago's Grant Park after winning the 2008 Presidential election

2) "So you'll walk me down the aisle?"
—Ellen DeGeneres, talk-show host, to Republican presidential candidate John McCain, after he told her that while he opposes gay marriage, he wishes her every happiness. DeGeneres and partner Portia de Rossi wed in August in California, just two months before the state passed a referendum banning gay marriage

3) "Think of us like a coast guard."
—Sugule Ali, spokesman for a group of Somali pirates, rationalizing their seizure of a Ukrainian ship off the coast of Somalia on Sept. 24

4) "If I had perfect foresight, I would never have taken this job in the first place."
—Richard F. Syron, Freddie Mac's chief executive, dismissing claims that he ignored internal warnings that could have prevented the mortgage company's fiscal crisis

5) "Only God who appointed me will remove me."
—Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, refusing to cede power to opponent Morgan Tsvangirai regardless of the results of a June 27 runoff election

6) "It's the longest Hail Mary pass in the history of either football or Marys."
—Barney Frank, Democratic Massachusetts Senator, on John McCain's announcement that he would suspend his presidential campaign to rush back to Washington and focus on fixing America's ailing economy

7) "So?"
—Dick Cheney, when told that two-thirds of Americans did not support the war in Iraq, arguing that polling should not dictate the war's conduct

8) "I thought I'd host an end of the world party, but the media might take it seriously."
—Stephen Hawking, on the activation of the Large Hadron Collider, which some scientists speculated could inadvertently destroy the planet

9) "The path will be a little easier next time."
—Hillary Clinton, thanking her supporters after ending her bid to become the first female President of the United States

10) "They needed a small, victorious war."
—Vladimir Putin, Russian Prime Minister, claiming the U.S. engineered the Georgia conflict to boost support for the Republican party

(from time.com)

Master Blasters

2008-12-06T19:17:00.002-05:00

Moviefone's Top 25 Sci-Fi Films Of All Time:

25) Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
24) Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan (1982)
23) It Came From Outer Space (1953)
22) Galaxy Quest (1999)
21) Robocop (1987)
20) Tron (1982)
19) 12 Monkeys (1995)
18) Soylent Green (1973)
17) Brazil (1985)
16) 2001: A Space Odessey (1968)
15) Planet of the Apes (1968)
14) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
13) E.T. (1982)
12) Metropolis (1927)
11) Terminator (1984)
10) Forbidden Planet (1956)
09) Alien (1979)
08) The Thing (1982)
07) Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
06) The Matrix (1999)
05) The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
04) Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
03) Aliens (1986)
02) Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
01) Blade Runner (1982)

5 Things I Learned From My Recent Nielsen Meeting

2008-12-05T08:52:00.004-05:00

In 1950, the average number of channels available per household was 3.8. In 2008, the average is now 116 channels.

The average American household in 1980 viewed 6 hours 36 minutes of television per day. In 2008, the average household views 8 hours 43 minutes per day.

In the span of one year, DVR useage grew from 17.8% of TV households in May 07 to 24.4% of households in July 08.

Approximately 80% of DVR playback occurs within 24 hours of initial recording.

"Gossip Girl" is the most DVR'd show on television.

Willy Wonka?

2008-12-05T07:27:00.002-05:00

Oh Crap...

2008-11-30T15:09:00.002-05:00

Look Out, Now!

2008-11-29T00:03:00.003-05:00

Blogger's Note: Well, it is the greatest gaming console in the history of humankind.

When Grandma Got A New Mac

2008-11-26T07:28:00.000-05:00

The DB Express

2008-11-23T02:58:00.002-05:00

Bike Hero

2008-11-20T13:16:00.001-05:00

Top Ten Best Things About The Golden Girls

2008-11-19T09:29:00.003-05:00

Every so often I meet someone who just isn't able to fully understand what it is about The Golden Girls that I find so gosh darned appealing. To those people, I hope this article helps...

10. Sixty and Still Gettin' Some

The ladies of Miami Beach didn't sit around playing bridge. Yeah, I could go on and on about how The Golden Girls was well-written and smart and so on, and sure, it most certainly was. But one of the show's best qualities was that it proved that mature ladies still have sex, want sex, and enjoy sex. The fact that this show promoted that thought was nothing short of revolutionary at the time. Plus, it was just funny as Hell to witness Blanche bed everyone from a shoe salesman to Santa Claus.

9. Some of the Best One-Liners in Network Television History

My gay male friends and I have often gone head to head in Golden Girls quote-offs (I always emerge defeated, of course), but seriously, who can forget "I see little orbs of sunshine in a bag!" and "Like the fatal blossom of the jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance, but can provide no succor." And there's always "Oh I do! I do believe in sluts," "I lost Butter Queen, haven't I suffered enough?" and "I know I'm not dreaming because there are no boy dancers." Still want more? I don't blame you.

8. Gay-Friendly Before It Was Hip

Consider this: Dorothy's old friend, a lesbian, falling for Rose ("Lesbian, Blanche, not Lebanese!"), Blanche's brother Clayton bringing his boyfriend to visit, or the girls speaking honestly about HIV at a time when many were still afraid to touch people with AIDS. It's no surprise then that The Golden Girls has rightly earned a strong following among gay people, especially men, since it first aired. (I'm pretty sure the catty one-liners have something to do with it, too.) Television in the '80s was still trying to figure out how to tackle the topic of homosexuality, but The Golden Girls pulled it off just right without ever getting preachy or breaking away from the humor that made the show famous.

7. Cheesecake

A better ad for cheesecake than The Golden Girls? I don't think so. Not only were our sassy gal pals gettin' some, they weren't afraid to chow down either. Sure, they fretted about their weight every once in a while, but they knew that there weren't any problems they couldn't solve by sitting around the kitchen table and pulling out a Sara Lee. Yum.

6. Catching Glimpses of Random Celebrities Who Were Not Yet Celebrities While Watching Reruns

True, we didn't know it at the time, but Miss Hipster herself Jenny Lewis once played a conniving Sunshine Girl on the double G, and a very young George Clooney had several scenes as a cop on stakeout at the gals' pad. (Blanche tucks him in at night, but don't worry...no hanky panky.) There was even a famous blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment with Quentin Tarantino as an Elvis impersonator.

5. Stories from Sicily, St. Olaf, Brooklyn, or the Deep South

Why didn't my grandmothers tell me stories like this? No, all I ever heard about was escaping Communist Cuba and how hard it was to work as a seamstress to put my father through school, blah blah blah. Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche each had their own territory to mine as they spun stories that were homey, bawdy, and hilarious all at once, creating the real heart of the show. Answer me this: Can you shoot a herring out of a cannon?

4. The Girls in Hot Pants!

Whether dressed in top hats and dancing in the hospital or just gettin' funky in their own living room, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and even Sophia (hey, she was in a pizza commercial once) were always looking for creative outlets, from dressing up as Chicken Little and pals to staging a talent-filled telethon to save a lighthouse. Moments like these reminded us that Estelle Getty, Betty White, Rue McClanahan, and Bea Arthur were not just quick with a joke, but were (and are) truly legendary performers.

3. It Taught Me About Menopause

I still vividly remember sitting in the basement with my parents watching the famous menopause episode and feeling intensely uncomfortable as the girls discussed Blanche's change of life. ("Menopause was wonderful for me!" "I never had PMS, but I had a BMW," and so on.) Still, I'm glad I watched it because it is truly how I came to understand that the concept of menopause even existed...and you thought PBS was the only educational programming out there.

2. It Also Taught Me What a Lanai Was

Until The Golden Girls, I never knew what a lanai was. To be fair, I'm actually still not sure. I think it might just be a fancy name for porch. Either way, I aim to get one when I grow up.

1. A Lady Always Knows When to Leave

Sure, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia weren't super-refined, but they were still ladies in my book, and ladies always know when it's time to say farewell. Okay, yes, I know about the ill-fated Golden Palace spin-off (starring Don Cheadle, seriously), but in my mind, The Golden Girls was Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose, and it ended at just the right time. It didn't linger on (ER anyone?) or start filling the schedule with a million Very Special Episodes (ER anyone?). After Dorothy married Leslie Nielsen and embraced her gal pals in one final hug, we knew it was the end of a perfect era.

(from heartlessdoll.com)

Cat In A Boat

2008-11-17T07:28:00.005-05:00

Blogger's Note: I can't explain it but this picture makes me totally crack up everytime I look at it.

True Confessions

2008-11-13T16:38:00.002-05:00

The Only Baseball Game I've Ever Loved

2008-11-13T16:33:00.003-05:00

Blogger's Note: Yes, that was a bunt home run. Oh, RBI Baseball. Thanks for all the good times.

A Skittles Commercial Unearthed

2008-11-13T14:42:00.004-05:00

Blogger's Note: I've never seen this one before! Thanks, Greg

Some "Classic" Senior Portraits For Your Thursday

2008-11-13T09:53:00.007-05:00

The Pose On A Ladder Portrait

The NBA Jeans Portrait

The High Voltage Portrait

The Mid-Curl Portrait

The Face In A Mirror Portrait

The Playing A Violin Portrait

The Portrait Of A Portrait Portrait

The Weird Asian Kid Portrait

The Daniel-San Portrait

The Basketball Playing Doucebag Portrait

The Shirtless With My Pregnant Girlfriend Portrait

(from nextround.net)

Olbermann On Gay Marriage

2008-11-11T07:31:00.002-05:00

Skittles Ads Really Are The Best

2008-11-10T23:47:00.001-05:00

Red Pill = Blue Screen

2008-11-10T21:52:00.007-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Amen To That

2008-11-10T21:44:00.003-05:00

Food For Thought

2008-11-10T00:02:00.004-05:00

The United Nations' Food and Agriculture Organization recently stated that it would cost approximately $30 billion to launch the necessary agricultural programs that would solve global food insecurity. To put this amount of money in perspective, that would be about 4.3% of the Wall Street Bailout to end world hunger.

(info from ecosalon)

Bush: A Retrospective In Pictures

2008-11-08T20:12:00.007-05:00

(from King-Mag.com)

This Post Is For Greg, The Biggest Miller's Crossing Fan I Know

2008-11-07T22:09:00.006-05:00

Here's Your "WTF" Moment Of The Day

2008-11-07T07:26:00.003-05:00

Whatever Happened To "You Scratch My Back...?"

2008-11-06T23:28:00.003-05:00

Any notion that Tuesday's election represented a liberal juggernaut must overcome a detail from the voting booths of California: The same voters who turned out strongest for Barack Obama also drove a stake through the heart of same-sex marriage.
Seven in 10 African Americans who went to the polls voted yes on Proposition 8, the ballot measure overruling a state Supreme Court judgment that legalized same-sex marriage and brought 18,000 gay and lesbian couples to Golden State courthouses in the past six months.
Similar measures passed easily in Florida and Arizona. It was closer in California, but no ethnic group anywhere rejected the sanctioning of same-sex unions as emphatically as the state's black voters, according to exit polls.
(from washingtonpost.com)

I Wish Blogger Could Display Animated GIFs

2008-11-06T12:21:00.004-05:00

I guess you'll just have to click on this.

(Thanks Greg)

Sing It, Louie

2008-11-06T12:08:00.002-05:00

Whedon's New Bag

2008-11-06T07:35:00.001-05:00

I hope this turns out well!

You Have To Admit, This Is Cute

2008-11-05T21:16:00.003-05:00

Obama FTW

2008-11-05T07:31:00.003-05:00

This post is for Sebastian (and any of my video game nerd friends)

A Dark Cloud Is Lifted

2008-11-04T22:51:00.007-05:00

Christ, it's been a long eight years...

(this image courtesy of FOX News)

To the Republicans: Daddy has taken the keys to the Camero. Think about what you've done.

For Those Needing Reassurance

2008-11-04T14:27:00.005-05:00

(thanks to Greg for the link)

Vote Calrissian

2008-11-04T07:24:00.003-05:00

It's 7:30am and I'm tense already. This is going to be a long day. Here's something to lighten the mood...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Choose Wisely

2008-11-03T13:16:00.007-05:00

This is the time of year where I typically ask people to get educated and get out there and vote. But this year is different. This year I'm asking you to get educated and get out there and vote for Obama. This is not the year to skip the polls or vote for Nader. He doesn't have a chance, and believe me, I wish he did. I'm a registered Independent and I hate how we've developed into a two party system. The hard truth is that come Wednesday, either Barack Obama is the next president or John McCain is. I strongly believe with all my heart that Barack Obama is a good man who wants to do something extraordinary with this country. I'm just so very tired of being in a downward spiral, as I'm sure we all are. I don't think Obama is the perfect candidate, but I do believe he is our #1 best option. It's time for the young people of America to take control of this country. Barack is here to help.

Just Like Any Other Female Human

2008-10-31T08:48:00.005-04:00

Cindy McCain Claims Sheâ��s â��Just Like Any Other Female Humanâ��

(Thanks to Barry for the link)

Blogger's Note: I have no beef with Cindy McCain, but this is pretty funny.

That Takes Me Back

2008-10-28T07:34:00.005-04:00

For anyone looking to kill some time at work, MTV just started "the Hulu for music videos" at MTVmusic.com.

Fatboy Slim MTV Music

Joe Knows

2008-10-26T21:11:00.008-04:00

For any hockey moms out there who may have recently gotten in way over their head, here is Joe Biden explaining to a fifth grader what a vice-president really does:

Somebody's Staying Late

2008-10-24T22:44:00.004-04:00

Massive Shopping Cart Fail by Two Morons - Watch more free videos

Credit Where Credit Is Due

2008-10-24T22:32:00.005-04:00

Apple has joined Google in publicly opposing a California ballot initiative that would deny marriage rights to same-sex couples.

The company announced Friday that it would donate $100,000 to the No on Prop 8 campaign, which opposes a measure to ban gay marriage that California voters will consider a week from Tuesday. Google has also spoken out against the ballot measure.

"Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees' same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person's fundamental rights--including the right to marry--should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8," the company said in a statement posted to the Hot News section of its Web site.

(from cnet.com)

Blogger's Note: Thanks, Apple

At Long Last!

2008-10-24T07:33:00.008-04:00

Crispin Glover has signed on to play the Knave of Hearts in Tim Burton's adaptation of "Alice in Wonderland" for Disney.

Glover joins Mia Wasikowska as Alice and a cast that includes Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter. Burton is using a combination of live action and performance-capture technology to tell the Lewis Carroll story.

The APA-repped Glover is no stranger to performance-capture technology: He worked in the medium for "Beowulf."

In "Alice," the Knave of Hearts is put on trial for stealing the Queen of Hearts' tarts and is defended by Alice.

(from The Hollywood Reporter)

Blogger's Note: Finally! I've been wanting Crispin Glover in a Tim Burton movie for like 15 years now.

Obama Vs. McCain Dance-Off!

2008-10-23T21:11:00.005-04:00

Unbelievable McCain Vs. Obama Dance-Off - Watch more free videos

Mac Vs. PC

2008-10-22T23:36:00.002-04:00

The First Issue's Free, Baby!

2008-10-21T23:09:00.006-04:00

This is great. Be sure and watch it through to the end.

(thanks to Barry for sharing)

David Sedaris, Will You Also Be My Friend?

2008-10-21T13:09:00.003-04:00

David Sedaris on undecided voters:

“To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”

(thanks to Greg for sharing)

Just Because These Always Make Me Laugh

2008-10-21T07:27:00.003-04:00

More A Lover Than A Fighter

2008-10-20T19:55:00.003-04:00

This is what happens when you let a gay dude create his own video game character...