(from The Sun Online)

Company chiefs at Kellogg were left red-faced this week after discovering the term for their newest cereal, "Chocolately Coco Rocks", is already a street word for dark-brown crack cocaine, made by adding chocolate pudding during its production.

Bewitched Review

Let me start off by saying that doing a film version of the classic television show, Bewitched, is a terrible idea. Thankfully this movie didn't do that. This movie serves as more of a tribute to Bewitched while it also fills the bill as a modern romantic comedy with a touch of whimsy added to it. It's no secret that the romantic comedy has never been one of my preferred genres, but every so often I'll come across one worth watching. Bewitched isn't a great film. The characters are never fully developed, the script meanders and there are loose ends that are left untied. But it's clear that the movie is only trying to be light-hearted fun and at that level, it succeeds. The cast works well enough- Nicole Kidman continues to broaden her range (and is much more enjoyable in this comedic effort than in her last. Stepford Wives was awful.) Michael Caine shows up with a solid performance, but what else would you expect really? He's Michael Caine. The film features numerous other strong supporting characters, some of the best played by Amy Sedaris, Jason Schwartzman and three Daily Show correspondents. Of course, as everyone would expect, the real bread and butter of Bewitched is Will Ferrell. Even a slightly more restrained Ferrell is still hilarious. I'm not sure how he does it, but he's able to be over-the-top without becoming annoying. It's a fine line that he's somehow able to walk with complete sobriety. With a flimsy plot, the weight of Bewitched mostly rests on Ferrell's performance and he appears to carry us through with ease. The man is just comedic gold. So in the end, Bewitched is simply a cute movie. I don't know how else to put it- it's the kind of movie you rent on a Wednesday night when you're in the mood for something light and playful. If you're a fan of Will Ferrell's schtick, it's worth checking out at some point on DVD. If you decide to see it in the theatre, get the matinee price.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random Related Fact: Cast members Kristin Chenoweth and Carole Shelley are also performers in the Broadway musical Wicked.

I have feminist friends so I'm allowed to laugh at their expense.

Astonishing Facts From Around The Globe #4

• Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

• Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

• Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton Look-a-Like Contest.

• In the early 1940s, Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted only of little pasta swastikas.

• Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capitol without a McDonald's.

• The wingspan of a Boeing 747 jet is longer than the Wright Brothers' first flight.

• Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.

(from indybay.org)

Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking
miniature flag portraits of US President George W. Bush into piles of
dog poo in public parks. Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth,
said: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be
2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that
time."



Special thanks to Cookie for bringing this to my attention.

Zing!

Some guy at work tonight told me that NASCAR stands for "Non-Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks." I gave that man a high five.

Batman Begins Review

What does it take to rehabilitate a film franchise involving the greatest superhero icon in history that's been in a coma for eight years? An indie director and a $120 million budget of course! Finally, Warner Bros. makes a galant effort to wipe our memories clean of nipple-laden body armor, glow stick slingin' street thugs, and the blasphemous 30-second decimation of Bane (he broke Batman's back in the comics, people!) Never have I seen or read anything that has given so much insight into what drives Bruce Wayne to become a crime-fighting creature of the night. It's refreshing to see a big time action movie that doesn't shy away from character development. The characters drive the action, not the other way around. I was pleasantly surprised to see how well the all-star cast filled their roles. Particularly Michael Cane as Alfred, who when announced for the part was met with a fair amount of speculation from yours truly. I think what pleased me the most about Begins was its portrayal of Jim Gordon, played by the always fantastic Gary Oldman. Gordon is my favorite character in the comics and they really succeeded in translating his partnership with Batman to the screen. In a nutshell, Gordon knows he needs Batman and the feeling is mutual. They even made me enjoy that ridiculously designed Batmobile we've all seen in the previews. The movie isn't perfect of course, but most of the criticizms I have are quite minor and aren't even worth mentioning here. I guess my biggest 'complaint' is that the villians aren't really given much time to develop- they are pushed through the narrative at a fairly brisk pace. I can't come down too hard on this though, since the reason they were underexposed was simply to spend more time developing the big man in black. Which is kind of interesting when you compare Begins to the first two Tim Burton incarnations. In many ways, The Joker, Penguin and Catwoman were given as much, if not more screen time than Batman. Burton even said himself that it was simply more fun to focus on the wacky villains. In the end though, Batman Begins just may be the soundest superhero movie ever made. I'm strongly recommending it for anyone who is a fan of Batman, of superheroes in general, or someone who simply likes an action flick that actually tells a story in between the fight scenes. Chris Nolan treats the comic series with a great deal of respect and it's obvious that a lot of effort was put into making the twisted city of Gotham seem completely believable. I can't wait to see where they take the sequels.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random Related Fact: Before shooting began, Christopher Nolan invited the entire film crew to a private screening of Blade Runner. After the film he said to them, "This is how we're going to make Batman."

You can't argue simple mathematics people...

Mr. & Mrs. Smith Review

Summer is the perfect time for fun, no-brainer popcorn flicks, which is exactly what Mr. & Mrs. Smith is. Brad and Angelina work perfectly together in a fun, over-the-top action extravaganza helmed by Doug Liman, a very capable director who gave us Swingers, Go and The Bourne Identity. All the tabloid nonsense aside, what it all comes down to is the fact that the film's stars make this movie work. The script is decent but ultimately Brad and Angelina's on-screen chemistry elevates the film to greater things. There are many moments where the actors add their own special touches to a line that really makes the delivery that much more effective. It's nice to actually see skilled performances from highly publicized headliners. Too often are the big names attached to blockbuster films just that- big names and not a lot else. Another reason the film comes across as a crowd pleaser is because the tone and humor is kept very consistent throughout. I read and article with Doug Liman where he talked about how he was constantly walking a tightrope while directing Smith. If the quarreling between Brad and Angelina's characters was too soft, it could come across as hokey and end up being less effective. But if they were too harsh with it, some might view it as borderline spousal abuse. The end result is a great mix of comedy and action that holds up start to finish. If I wanted to nitpick I could find flaws in the film...the villians are never very clearly identified...we could have been given more insight into the couple's relationship...the pacing stutters now and then due to cramming so much material into a two hour block. But in the end who really cares? I know I don't. Mr. & Mrs. Smith isn't out to win any awards, it just tries to be an entertaining romp filled with glitzy action scenes and witty dialogue- and it succeeds. I think we need that sort of movie now and then.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random Related Fact: Director Doug Liman is probably becoming less and less a fan of Steven Soderbergh. In the middle of shooting Smith, Brad Pitt had to pull out for a three-month period to film Soderbergh's Ocean's 12. Matt Damon also had to leave partway through The Bourne Identity to work on Ocean's 11.

Atonishing Facts From Around The Globe #3

• In 1985, the most popular waist size for men's pants sold in the United States was 32. In 2005, it's 36.

• The New Yorker magazine now has more subscribers in California than New York.

• The Nike swoosh was designed by a Portland State University student, and purchased by Nike for $35.

• Consumer surveys show that gas prices would have to hit $3.75 per gallon before there will be any real impact on SUV sales.

• 72% of Americans sign their pets' names on greeting cards they send out.

• The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he/she enters first grade.

• The only state with a one syllable name is Maine.

On this hot and humid Friday afternoon, let's keep our spirits up with some Episode III humor at George Lucas' expense.

Brand Loyalty

by Shana Krochmal

The American Family Association hates you.

But don't worry, you're in good company. They also hate Mickey Mouse, Paris Hilton and -- as of May 30 -- the Ford Motor Company. I always feel a little warm and fuzzy when I wake up to the news that yet another set of unlikely allies have been brought together by little more than some crackpot's belief that people like me deserve no rights. And people say that marriage equality will destroy society! I think we've done everything short of buying the world a Coke.

Last I checked, no one was boycotting Coke for not hating gays -- just Ford, which includes everything from the utilitarian Ford Taurus to the perky, topless Mazda Miata to the classic Aston Martin, aka the Bondmobile. According to the cultural diktats over at the American Family Association, Ford committed the unforgivable sin of giving grants to gay groups, having inclusive hiring and benefits policies and (my personal favorite) "forcing managers to attend diversity training on how to promote the acceptance of homosexuality." I'd hate to hear about how Ford probably forced employees to attend trainings on how not to sexually harass each other, too. Bastards!

This boycott comes just after the AFA -- the bully pulpit for preachers of hate Don and Tim Wildmon -- finally gave up the ghost of their nine-year ban on Disney. Because apparently they managed to successfully strip that company of all its pink fringes. But the AFA knows what some on the left have yet to fully parse: Boycotting a major company because you don't all want to beat up the same kid at recess is less likely to hurt the bottom line than it is to garner a few headlines. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Except, of course, when the whole point is just to sustain their crusade of hate. And in this world of brand-name smackdowns, it makes sense that the next battle of our uncivil war is upon us. Instead of arguing over whether we've all become slaves to Ikea -- as Ed Norton in "Fight Club" said, we are not our fucking khakis -- the debate now comes down to who shops where. Are you a Red State Wal-Mart shopper or a Blue State Costco devotee? Amazon.com or Powells.com? Silver Ring Thing or SpongeBob SquarePants? No children's toy is safe from scrutiny, and no adult can escape the inane, humorless rhetoric.

Even when you hide out in generic chic, like the rapidly proliferating American Apparel, you're probably not safe, given their cheeky embrace of amateur porn-like adverts. So what's a socially conscious 21st century citizen to do? I'm not going to say you have to take sides, except: Take sides. They hate us. Hate us. It's not a pleasant thing to wake up to, or go to bed to, but ignoring it makes us both vulnerable and stupid.

I'm not suggesting you run right out and buy a Ford (though those new Jaguar X5s make me drool), but take a cue from the small band of Internet activists who made enough noise in a few weeks to make Microsoft do another double-take and remember they're pro-gay. Make some noise. Write a letter to your local paper. Call your neighborhood Ford dealer to thank their staff -- who are far less used to handling zaps by wingnuts than, say, Hillary Clinton's reps -- and let them know that you're gay and you appreciate them not capitulating to the ridiculous threats of bigots.

Ford HQ issued a brief statement reaffirming their shocking values of "inclusion of different people with different perspectives," regardless of sexual orientation, and thanked the rest of the auto industry for not leaving them out there on their own on this matter. They've also been busy giving interviews in which no amount of prodding can get them to back away from their pro-gay support -- all very encouraging. AFA "suspended" the Ford boycott within a week, seeming cowed by public outrage and placated by nervous dealership owners, who basically said that some of their staff does, in fact, hate gays too, so why should they be punished? Ford reps said they would "welcome a dialogue" with AFA.

For my money, the gold standard in major corporate resistance to hatred was set by Kraft Foods Inc., a Gay Games sponsor -- and thus a predictable right-wing target -- in an e-mail to employees posted to the political blog DailyKos: "While Kraft certainly doesn't go looking for controversy, we have long been dedicated to support the concept and the reality of diversity ? We respect diversity of ethnicity, gender, experience, background, personal style and yes, sexual orientation and gender identity."

Wow. Inclusion and a touch of sarcasm. I think I'm in love. And they even protect my personal style, whatever that is. The real kicker for me, though, is how the e-mail ends, because some days I need to be reminded, just like everyone else, that there are people who don't hate us, who understand that these business-page bitchslaps are in fact part of a much larger, much longer-lasting cultural war. Concluded Kraft executive vice president (and my new boyfriend) Marc Firestone: "It's easy to say you support a concept or a principle when nobody objects. The real test of commitment is how one reacts when there are those who disagree."

In a time when our elected officials are far too often ready and willing to capitulate to the wackos who funded their campaigns, the steadfast support of all-American emblems such as Kraft and Ford in the face of an all-out PR attack is a serious coup for our team -- and a sign of the desperate measures to which those blinded by hate must stoop.

So who gives a damn if the AFA hates us? We must be doing something right.

Blogger's Note: I think my Focus deserves a trip through the car wash today.

And on a related topic...

The Top 10 Gay Cars Of 2005

Chevrolet Cobalt (Best Cheap Date Of A Car)
Mazda 6 (Best "Family" Car)
Toyota Tacoma (Best Queen-sized Bed)
Ford Mustang GT Convertible (Best Blow-dry-your-hair-while-you-drive Car)
Mercedes-Benz CLS500 (Best Car For Queers With Cash)
Mercedes-Benz C230 Sport Sedan (Best Car For Climbing The Corporate Ladder)
Porche 911 (Best Thrill Ride)
Honda Accord Hybrid (Best Green Machine)
Jeep Grand Cherokee (Best SUV)
Mercedes-Benz M-Class (Best Lux-U-V)

If anyone wants to take a crack at explaining what's going on in this picture, be my guest.

Cinderella Man Review

Russell Crowe is one of those actors who just can't seem to stay out of the news. From his cavorting around with Meg Ryan to his short temper with the paparazzi, the guy manages to consistently be in the middle of something- even when he prefers to keep a low profile. Luckily and more importantly for us, he's also a fantastic actor. He's one of a handful of Hollywood headliners that I can say I really see as the character he/she is portraying, not as just the actor *cough* Tom Cruise *cough*. Crowe put on great performances in L.A. Confidential, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Master and Commander and now Cinderella Man. It would seem the secret of his success is to simply make a movie that is set in the past. Proof of Life (the present) and Virtuosity (the future) both pretty much bombed. Cinderella Man is one of those movies that is everything it sets out to be. That's actually pretty typical of a Ron Howard movie- he doesn't aim for anything revolutionary or particularly mind-blowing...the guy just knows how to develop characters and tell their stories very well. Playing husband and wife, Russell is terrific as usual and Rene Zellweger comes through yet again with a solid performance. For me, the real shining star of the film was Paul Giamatti, who fits his character like a glove and really gives the film a perfect amount of energy as a motormouth boxing promoter. I was also impressed with Howard's attention to detail in recreating New York City during The Great Depression. Part of what gives Cinderella its emotional steam is how effectively it portrays the hardships of people during this time and how desperate they were to have something positive to get behind. You'd have to have a heart of stone to not garner some measure of joy from this film. In the tradition of Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind, Howard gives yet another glowing tribute to a hero with a story worth telling.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random Related Fact: Russell Crowe dislocated his shoulder while training for the film's boxing sequences, which delayed the film for two months.

Weird Factoids

• Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. president to have been born in a hospital.

• In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

• A duck's quack doesn't echo.

• The longest word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable.'

• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

• When turned upside-down, Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle at a rate of 25 miles per year.

• The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.

• A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

• Every 100g of Corn Flakes has 1 mg of fecal matter.

• All polar bears are left-handed.

• Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Humorous ads from across the pond:

Astonishing Facts From Around The Globe #2

• Mel Gibson personally earned almost $400 million from his movie "The Passion of the Christ".

• A chef's hat is shaped the way it is for a reason: its shape allows air to circulate around the scalp, keeping the head cool in a hot kitchen.

• The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.

• 90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border.

• Even today, 90% of the continental United States is still open space, forests or farmland.

• Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears.