Miss Teen USA South Carolina 2007 with Subtitles

Try and wrap your mind around this one, folks.

(Thanks to Jeremy for the link.)

These Polls Will Cure What Ails Ya!

Mr. Rogers Working His Magic

This is something of a follow-up to a post I did on Mr. Rogers awhile back. Witness him convince the Senate to contribute $20 million to public television in about six minutes.

Yet Another Reason Why New England Rocks

If blue states care less about moral values, why are divorce rates so low in the bluest of the blue states? It's a question that intrigues conservatives, as much as it emboldens liberals.

As researchers have noted, the areas of the country where divorce rates are highest are also frequently the areas where many conservative Christians live.

Kentucky, Mississippi and Arkansas, for example, voted overwhelmingly for constitutional amendments to ban gay marriage. But they had three of the highest divorce rates in 2003, based on figures from the Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics.

The lowest divorce rates are largely in the blue states: the Northeast and the upper Midwest. And the state with the lowest divorce rate was Massachusetts, home to John Kerry, the Kennedys and same-sex marriage.

In 2003, the rate in Massachusetts was 5.7 divorces per 1,000 married people, compared with 10.8 in Kentucky, 11.1 in Mississippi and 12.7 in Arkansas.

"Some people are saying, 'The Bible Belt is so pro-marriage, but gee, they have the highest divorce rates in the country,' " said Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "And there's a lot of worry in the red states about the high rate of divorce."

(from The New York Times)

What Tracey Doesn't Know Could Fill A Submarine

If anyone is offended by this, I got it from Jeremy.

Photography 101

(stolen from the thought bucket blog)

Global Warming, You Say?

I'm no former vice president but could what we are seeing here perhaps be... global cooling?

(CBS) Don't forget to bundle up if you're headed out in New York City today. After all, it is August 21. The city along with the rest of the tri-state region is feeling the chilly effect of a cold front sweeping through the region, accompanied by cool rain showers. Tuesday's high temperature in Central Park was just 59 degrees. The normal high for today is 82 degrees. The normal low is 67.

"This unusual blast of cold air smashed our previous record for the coldest high temperature on August 21, which is 64 degrees, set back in 1999," CBS 2 meteorologist Jason Cali told wcbstv.com. In fact, the 59-degree high tied the record for the coldest high temperature ever for the month of August in New York City, when it reached just 59 degrees in 1911.

(from wcbstv.com)

Nailing The One-Trick Pony

Here are a couple of excerpts from an article I was reading today on cracked.com regarding movie cameos. I really couldn't have said it better myself...

Alfred Hitchcock appeared in every one of his 37 full-length feature films, often for less than a second. It was considered a tasteful and humorous signature for devoted fans of his brand of horror/suspense. M. Night Shyamalan is kind of like that, except he puts his name in a larger font than the movie title, inflicts his “acting” on us for minutes at a time, and makes far, far shittier movies.

The hardest part was just getting through a take, considering that Shyamalan compulsively masturbates whenever he catches a glimpse of himself in a reflective surface.

Score One For The Good Guys

Paramount and DreamWorks Animation Each Declare Exclusive Support for HD DVD Movies Distributed by Paramount Home Entertainment Including Paramount Pictures, DreamWorks Animation SKG, DreamWorks Pictures, Paramount Vantage, Nickelodeon Movies and MTV Films to be Released Exclusively in HD DVD.

LOS ANGELES, Aug. 20 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Paramount Pictures, a unit of Viacom Inc. (NYSE: VIA and VIA.B) and DreamWorks Animation SKG (NYSE: DWA), each announced today that they will exclusively support the next-generation HD DVD format on a worldwide basis. The exclusive HD DVD commitment will include all movies distributed by Paramount Pictures, DreamWorks Pictures, Paramount Vantage, Nickelodeon Movies and MTV Films, as well as movies from DreamWorks Animation, which are distributed exclusively by Paramount Home Entertainment.
The companies each said that the decision to distribute exclusively in the HD DVD format resulted from an extensive evaluation of current market offerings, which confirmed the clear benefits of HD DVD, particularly its market-ready technology and lower manufacturing costs. Paramount Home Entertainment will launch its exclusive HD DVD program with the release of the blockbuster comedy hit "Blades of Glory" on August 28th and follow with two of the biggest grossing movies of the year "Transformers" and "Shrek the Third". These three titles alone represent more than $1.5 billion in box office ticket sales worldwide.
"The combination of Paramount and DreamWorks Animation brings a critical mass of current box office hits to consumers with a line-up of live action and animated films that are perfect for HD DVD," stated Brad Grey, Chairman and CEO of Paramount Pictures, which is currently the leading studio in domestic box office. "Part of our vision is to aggressively extend our movies beyond the theater, and deliver the quality and features that appeal to our audience. I believe HD DVD is not only the affordable high quality choice for consumers, but also the smart choice for Paramount."
"We decided to release "Shrek the Third" and other DreamWorks Animation titles exclusively on HD DVD because we believe it is the best format to bring high quality home entertainment to a key segment of our audience -- families," stated DreamWorks Animation CEO, Jeffrey Katzenberg. "We believe the combination of this year's low-priced HD DVD players and the commitment to release a significant number of hit titles in the fall makes HD DVD the best way to view movies at home."
With the rapid increase of HD TV screens in households, and audiences wanting to enjoy the total entertainment experience, HD DVD has emerged as the most affordable way for consumers to watch their movies in high definition. In addition to pristine quality, HD DVD also offers consumers the chance to personalize the movie-watching experience, to interact with their movies and even to connect with a community of other fans.

(taken from a Paramount press release today.)

Blogger's Note: *tents fingers* Excellent

Why The Bourne Series Is The Best American Film Trilogy Ever Made

Yes, I realize this title makes a bold statement. After posting my Bourne Ultimatum review today, I came across an editorial online that made this very claim. Whether you agree with the statement or not, the guy does make a good arguement for himself. Click on the picture below to check out said article.

Spoiler Alert: The article contains plot details for all three Bourne flicks. Consider yourself warned.

The Bourne Ultimatum Review

HIGHS

• I'll start with the most important point. The Bourne Ultimatum is a great ending to an already fantastic film series. It is very, very consistent with the other two films, particularly the second one, and manages to stay true to the characters and themes established while still showing us something new.
• I will always appreciate the Bourne flicks for treating the audience with respect. The material is never dumbed down but is presented in such a way that it won't go over a person's head either. The viewer is given the tools necessary to be able to piece things together on their own. I can't think of any other instance where a series of films has so expertly crafted action and smarts.
• The Bourne trilogy is like a steady parade of today's best actors. Besides Matt Damon obviously, who I think is one of our most valuable American actors going today, I don't care what anyone says- you also had Chris Cooper and Clive Owen in The Bourne Identity. In the second film you have the always excellent Brian Cox and Joan Allen. And now with Ultimatum we have David Strathairn and Albert Finney joining the frey. Such suberb casting only adds to the credibility of these films.
• One thing that stood out to me while watching Ultimatum was a fantastic use of sound effects and score. I really appreciate it when a director pays as much attention to audio as he does visuals (see: Mr. Tarantino).
• What is probably most important about a successful film trilogy is that there is a satisfying conclusion, and thankfully Ultimatum had that. I would go into more detail here but per usual, I don't get into plot points in these reviews out of respect for those who haven't yet seen the film.
• Paul Greengrass even managed to get me to care about Julia Stiles, if only for a couple of hours. That is no small feat, let me tell you.

LOWS

• How long we will have to wait until another series of films comes along that is as superlative as the Bourne trilogy.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended*
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

*As an entire trilogy. No one should start with this movie first. That's just silly.

Random related fact: It took six weeks to film Ultimatum's climactic car chase in downtown New York City.

The Perfect Crime

Can somebody please tell me why Perfect Strangers hasn't been released on DVD yet? That show played a vital role in shaping me into the hilarious individual I am today! I will sit idly by no longer. Not while craptastic shows like Bosom Buddies and Dr. Quinn are getting the Complete Series treatment! This is a call to action! Who's with me??

Even Better Than The Singing Bunny

I don't know how the Skittles folks manage to keep topping themselves, but this is by far their best commercial yet.

(Big thanks to Greg for sharing this with me at work today.)

A Very Serious Flyer

Alaska Is Livin' Large

All this for a cool $7 million? Seward's folly, my ass!

(click the pic for a larger view)

Reinventing the FPS

I just want to plant my stake in the ground right now so I can fire off the "I told you so's" at the end of the year. My claim: Bioshock will be the Best Video Game of 2007.

(click on image to learn more about the game)

It's also the best reason going to get an Xbox 360 (although the recent price drops make for a strong arguement.) Sure, Bioshock will be available on the PC as well, but you'll probably need a better video card and some more memory if you hope to run it at a decent framerate and all that will probably add up to more than the cost of a 360 console. It's also worth pointing out that the PS3 isn't getting Bioshock (game of the year, as stated above).

How Low Can He Go

(you'll want to click on the image for closer inspection)

Cinema Virtuoso

Oh Michel Gondry, je t'aime. You are truly a cinematic God among men.

Check out the trailer for his newest picture, Be Kind Rewind. It's gonna be gold I tells ya, gold!!

All Reasons Why I'm Destined To Be "The Fun Uncle"

10 Good Reasons You May Not Want To Have Kids

1) They are Noisy
I am not saying that all of them are, I wasn’t, but the fact is that most of them will be constantly mouthing off about something. They have questions coming out the ass every day, day after day. No single thing is too small to be worthy of comment, no problem too insignificant to whine about, and then there’s the nagging. They nag. You give in once and after that they never let up.

2) Social Responsibility
You are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time according to law, so you have a commitment to always providing people for them to be with, and sometimes to be with them yourself. You have to watch them in stores, keep them in sight wherever you are, and you absolutely cannot be mean to them in public for fear of winding up before a judge. How your child behaves will reflect directly upon you and your character. They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics.

3) They Are an Economic Drain
Food, clothes, school-supplies, tuition, school-projects, toys, fast-food, prescriptions, not to mention having to pay for a large enough living space for two adults plus however many of them those two adults choose to have. If you rent, then there is always the potential of them destroying/something that you will have to pay for.

4) You Have to Teach them Things
You may or may not have figured this out: They are born knowing nothing. A blank slate. This means that you have years, possibly decades before they have anything insightful or interesting to say. But still, you will be a bad parent if you don’t listen to them. You are obligated to listen to all kinds of nonsensical irrelevant crap, all kinds of worthless interests and recaps of the Hannah Montana marathon they had on TV last weekend. You are obligated to tell them about life, sex, how to spend money, hygiene, calculus etc.

5) The TV Shows and Books you will have to Endure
A big part of knowing nothing is poor taste. Taste is a product of experience and therefore there will be a considerable length of time before they like things that make sense. You are obligated to read stories to them unless you want them whining about it when they grow up, you are also obligated to surrender at least one of the TVs in your house to the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for several hours each day.

6) Their Friends
If your kids are normal they will at some point make friends, which means that you will not only have their presence to endure, but an assortment of other people’s failures as well. They will, perhaps, invite them home, at which point you may have to feed these other children, and endure their noise.

7) Constant Illness
Kids, especially when small, are walking petri-dishes. Nothing guarantees repeated stomach-flus, colds, and assorted random illnesses like being in the presence of a small child for hours at a time. Have a co-worker who is always sniffling or running to the bathroom? They either have a cocaine problem or they have a small child.

8) They Attract the Ill-Will of Strangers
Nothing in the world will get you more dirty looks than a poorly trained child. For some reason whole segments of the American population either have not yet had children, or will never have children, these people will not be sympathetic to your plight. Children to them are mere annoying strangers being inflicted upon them by you.

9) Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them
Under normal circumstances anyway. You don’t get to give them back, you don’t get to pass them on to somebody else short of going to prison or dying. If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.

10) They are Ungrateful
Kids in America grow up with a sense of being entitled to good parenting, as if it were something they earned in a previous life and have now come to collect. No parent, however is good enough, and they usually cannot find it in themselves to see how much worse it could be. They feel entitled to your time, the contents of your wallet and the remote control. And what do they give back? Maybe you will get to see your grandkids every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick a good nursing home for you when you are too old to take care for yourself.

(from Dirty Writer)

After Legend

I came across this photo today that I'm guessing is a promo shot from The Lord of Darkness' short-lived and seldom talked about stint with "Up With People."

Hope Is All We Have

From an interview with Joss Whedon at this year's Comic Con...

So after all is said and done, was Serenity profitable? Do you consider it a success?

Joss Whedon (JW): It’s a success to the studio or else we wouldn’t be doing a special edition DVD. They actually admitted as much on paper, which you know studios are loathe to do, and that was actually from the theatrical. Theatrical was a disappointment, as everyone knows, but it did go into the black. Then the DVD came and they took me aside and said “We can’t keep these things on the shelf. We want to do a special edition.” And I didn’t want to hear that because I knew it would have to be a truly special edition to make me happy. There had to be a real reason, some real goodies.

So what will the special edition have for us?

JW: We took some stuff from the region two version; the making of – a really beautiful one that’s a bit longer. It has the first read through for the movie with the cast, two years after the show ended. And it has the River Tam sessions, the stuff I did on the internet with Summer. We got to do another commentary too, Nathan, Summer, Ron and Adam – I made sure it didn’t go the same direction as the first commentary. It feels like this version will be something more for the people who would tend to buy both.

So give me hope for a Serenity II

JW: Hope for it probably rests with this DVD.

So then you’re saying we’ve got a chance?

JW: Well it’s probably not being discussed in boardrooms right now, but the fact of the matter is if it makes enough money sooner or later they say “hey, this is money!” Also there are paradigms that are much cheaper, it doesn’t have to be enormous.

Hitler For The Holidays

This Thing Would Make MacGyver Cream In His Pants

Get a load of this! The Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife is packed with 85 fully functional implements including seven blades, three types of pliers, countless screwdrivers, saws, wrenches, a battery operated torch, a laser pointer with a 300ft range, the thingy that repairs golf divots, a magnifier for mineral crystals, tire-tread gauge, signal whistle and a cigar-cutter. And that's just scratching the surface! Inspector Gadget ain't got nothin' on this baby!

One Of These Polls Was Inspired By Barry Dodd

Final Results (8/12/07):

Would you rather be more creative or smarter?

More creative - 70%
Smarter - 30%


Which major television network would you consider to be your favorite?

ABC - 20%
CBS - 0%
FOX - 30%
NBC - 50%
The CW - 0%


With both men in their prime, who would win in a fist-fight?

Elvis Presley - 0%
Johnny Cash - 100%


When playing checkers, which color do you prefer?

Black - 67%
Red - 33%

Thanks to all who participated!