What Tracey Doesn't Know Could Fill A Submarine

If anyone is offended by this, I got it from Jeremy.

Photography 101

(stolen from the thought bucket blog)

Global Warming, You Say?

I'm no former vice president but could what we are seeing here perhaps be... global cooling?

(CBS) Don't forget to bundle up if you're headed out in New York City today. After all, it is August 21. The city along with the rest of the tri-state region is feeling the chilly effect of a cold front sweeping through the region, accompanied by cool rain showers. Tuesday's high temperature in Central Park was just 59 degrees. The normal high for today is 82 degrees. The normal low is 67.

"This unusual blast of cold air smashed our previous record for the coldest high temperature on August 21, which is 64 degrees, set back in 1999," CBS 2 meteorologist Jason Cali told wcbstv.com. In fact, the 59-degree high tied the record for the coldest high temperature ever for the month of August in New York City, when it reached just 59 degrees in 1911.

(from wcbstv.com)

Nailing The One-Trick Pony

Here are a couple of excerpts from an article I was reading today on cracked.com regarding movie cameos. I really couldn't have said it better myself...

Alfred Hitchcock appeared in every one of his 37 full-length feature films, often for less than a second. It was considered a tasteful and humorous signature for devoted fans of his brand of horror/suspense. M. Night Shyamalan is kind of like that, except he puts his name in a larger font than the movie title, inflicts his “acting” on us for minutes at a time, and makes far, far shittier movies.

The hardest part was just getting through a take, considering that Shyamalan compulsively masturbates whenever he catches a glimpse of himself in a reflective surface.

Score One For The Good Guys

Paramount and DreamWorks Animation Each Declare Exclusive Support for HD DVD Movies Distributed by Paramount Home Entertainment Including Paramount Pictures, DreamWorks Animation SKG, DreamWorks Pictures, Paramount Vantage, Nickelodeon Movies and MTV Films to be Released Exclusively in HD DVD.

LOS ANGELES, Aug. 20 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Paramount Pictures, a unit of Viacom Inc. (NYSE: VIA and VIA.B) and DreamWorks Animation SKG (NYSE: DWA), each announced today that they will exclusively support the next-generation HD DVD format on a worldwide basis. The exclusive HD DVD commitment will include all movies distributed by Paramount Pictures, DreamWorks Pictures, Paramount Vantage, Nickelodeon Movies and MTV Films, as well as movies from DreamWorks Animation, which are distributed exclusively by Paramount Home Entertainment.
The companies each said that the decision to distribute exclusively in the HD DVD format resulted from an extensive evaluation of current market offerings, which confirmed the clear benefits of HD DVD, particularly its market-ready technology and lower manufacturing costs. Paramount Home Entertainment will launch its exclusive HD DVD program with the release of the blockbuster comedy hit "Blades of Glory" on August 28th and follow with two of the biggest grossing movies of the year "Transformers" and "Shrek the Third". These three titles alone represent more than $1.5 billion in box office ticket sales worldwide.
"The combination of Paramount and DreamWorks Animation brings a critical mass of current box office hits to consumers with a line-up of live action and animated films that are perfect for HD DVD," stated Brad Grey, Chairman and CEO of Paramount Pictures, which is currently the leading studio in domestic box office. "Part of our vision is to aggressively extend our movies beyond the theater, and deliver the quality and features that appeal to our audience. I believe HD DVD is not only the affordable high quality choice for consumers, but also the smart choice for Paramount."
"We decided to release "Shrek the Third" and other DreamWorks Animation titles exclusively on HD DVD because we believe it is the best format to bring high quality home entertainment to a key segment of our audience -- families," stated DreamWorks Animation CEO, Jeffrey Katzenberg. "We believe the combination of this year's low-priced HD DVD players and the commitment to release a significant number of hit titles in the fall makes HD DVD the best way to view movies at home."
With the rapid increase of HD TV screens in households, and audiences wanting to enjoy the total entertainment experience, HD DVD has emerged as the most affordable way for consumers to watch their movies in high definition. In addition to pristine quality, HD DVD also offers consumers the chance to personalize the movie-watching experience, to interact with their movies and even to connect with a community of other fans.

(taken from a Paramount press release today.)

Blogger's Note: *tents fingers* Excellent

Why The Bourne Series Is The Best American Film Trilogy Ever Made

Yes, I realize this title makes a bold statement. After posting my Bourne Ultimatum review today, I came across an editorial online that made this very claim. Whether you agree with the statement or not, the guy does make a good arguement for himself. Click on the picture below to check out said article.

Spoiler Alert: The article contains plot details for all three Bourne flicks. Consider yourself warned.

The Bourne Ultimatum Review

HIGHS

• I'll start with the most important point. The Bourne Ultimatum is a great ending to an already fantastic film series. It is very, very consistent with the other two films, particularly the second one, and manages to stay true to the characters and themes established while still showing us something new.
• I will always appreciate the Bourne flicks for treating the audience with respect. The material is never dumbed down but is presented in such a way that it won't go over a person's head either. The viewer is given the tools necessary to be able to piece things together on their own. I can't think of any other instance where a series of films has so expertly crafted action and smarts.
• The Bourne trilogy is like a steady parade of today's best actors. Besides Matt Damon obviously, who I think is one of our most valuable American actors going today, I don't care what anyone says- you also had Chris Cooper and Clive Owen in The Bourne Identity. In the second film you have the always excellent Brian Cox and Joan Allen. And now with Ultimatum we have David Strathairn and Albert Finney joining the frey. Such suberb casting only adds to the credibility of these films.
• One thing that stood out to me while watching Ultimatum was a fantastic use of sound effects and score. I really appreciate it when a director pays as much attention to audio as he does visuals (see: Mr. Tarantino).
• What is probably most important about a successful film trilogy is that there is a satisfying conclusion, and thankfully Ultimatum had that. I would go into more detail here but per usual, I don't get into plot points in these reviews out of respect for those who haven't yet seen the film.
• Paul Greengrass even managed to get me to care about Julia Stiles, if only for a couple of hours. That is no small feat, let me tell you.

LOWS

• How long we will have to wait until another series of films comes along that is as superlative as the Bourne trilogy.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended*
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

*As an entire trilogy. No one should start with this movie first. That's just silly.

Random related fact: It took six weeks to film Ultimatum's climactic car chase in downtown New York City.

The Perfect Crime

Can somebody please tell me why Perfect Strangers hasn't been released on DVD yet? That show played a vital role in shaping me into the hilarious individual I am today! I will sit idly by no longer. Not while craptastic shows like Bosom Buddies and Dr. Quinn are getting the Complete Series treatment! This is a call to action! Who's with me??

Even Better Than The Singing Bunny

I don't know how the Skittles folks manage to keep topping themselves, but this is by far their best commercial yet.

(Big thanks to Greg for sharing this with me at work today.)

A Very Serious Flyer

Alaska Is Livin' Large

All this for a cool $7 million? Seward's folly, my ass!

(click the pic for a larger view)

Reinventing the FPS

I just want to plant my stake in the ground right now so I can fire off the "I told you so's" at the end of the year. My claim: Bioshock will be the Best Video Game of 2007.

(click on image to learn more about the game)

It's also the best reason going to get an Xbox 360 (although the recent price drops make for a strong arguement.) Sure, Bioshock will be available on the PC as well, but you'll probably need a better video card and some more memory if you hope to run it at a decent framerate and all that will probably add up to more than the cost of a 360 console. It's also worth pointing out that the PS3 isn't getting Bioshock (game of the year, as stated above).

How Low Can He Go

(you'll want to click on the image for closer inspection)

Cinema Virtuoso

Oh Michel Gondry, je t'aime. You are truly a cinematic God among men.

Check out the trailer for his newest picture, Be Kind Rewind. It's gonna be gold I tells ya, gold!!

All Reasons Why I'm Destined To Be "The Fun Uncle"

10 Good Reasons You May Not Want To Have Kids

1) They are Noisy
I am not saying that all of them are, I wasn’t, but the fact is that most of them will be constantly mouthing off about something. They have questions coming out the ass every day, day after day. No single thing is too small to be worthy of comment, no problem too insignificant to whine about, and then there’s the nagging. They nag. You give in once and after that they never let up.

2) Social Responsibility
You are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time according to law, so you have a commitment to always providing people for them to be with, and sometimes to be with them yourself. You have to watch them in stores, keep them in sight wherever you are, and you absolutely cannot be mean to them in public for fear of winding up before a judge. How your child behaves will reflect directly upon you and your character. They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics.

3) They Are an Economic Drain
Food, clothes, school-supplies, tuition, school-projects, toys, fast-food, prescriptions, not to mention having to pay for a large enough living space for two adults plus however many of them those two adults choose to have. If you rent, then there is always the potential of them destroying/something that you will have to pay for.

4) You Have to Teach them Things
You may or may not have figured this out: They are born knowing nothing. A blank slate. This means that you have years, possibly decades before they have anything insightful or interesting to say. But still, you will be a bad parent if you don’t listen to them. You are obligated to listen to all kinds of nonsensical irrelevant crap, all kinds of worthless interests and recaps of the Hannah Montana marathon they had on TV last weekend. You are obligated to tell them about life, sex, how to spend money, hygiene, calculus etc.

5) The TV Shows and Books you will have to Endure
A big part of knowing nothing is poor taste. Taste is a product of experience and therefore there will be a considerable length of time before they like things that make sense. You are obligated to read stories to them unless you want them whining about it when they grow up, you are also obligated to surrender at least one of the TVs in your house to the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for several hours each day.

6) Their Friends
If your kids are normal they will at some point make friends, which means that you will not only have their presence to endure, but an assortment of other people’s failures as well. They will, perhaps, invite them home, at which point you may have to feed these other children, and endure their noise.

7) Constant Illness
Kids, especially when small, are walking petri-dishes. Nothing guarantees repeated stomach-flus, colds, and assorted random illnesses like being in the presence of a small child for hours at a time. Have a co-worker who is always sniffling or running to the bathroom? They either have a cocaine problem or they have a small child.

8) They Attract the Ill-Will of Strangers
Nothing in the world will get you more dirty looks than a poorly trained child. For some reason whole segments of the American population either have not yet had children, or will never have children, these people will not be sympathetic to your plight. Children to them are mere annoying strangers being inflicted upon them by you.

9) Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them
Under normal circumstances anyway. You don’t get to give them back, you don’t get to pass them on to somebody else short of going to prison or dying. If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.

10) They are Ungrateful
Kids in America grow up with a sense of being entitled to good parenting, as if it were something they earned in a previous life and have now come to collect. No parent, however is good enough, and they usually cannot find it in themselves to see how much worse it could be. They feel entitled to your time, the contents of your wallet and the remote control. And what do they give back? Maybe you will get to see your grandkids every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick a good nursing home for you when you are too old to take care for yourself.

(from Dirty Writer)

After Legend

I came across this photo today that I'm guessing is a promo shot from The Lord of Darkness' short-lived and seldom talked about stint with "Up With People."

Hope Is All We Have

From an interview with Joss Whedon at this year's Comic Con...

So after all is said and done, was Serenity profitable? Do you consider it a success?

Joss Whedon (JW): It’s a success to the studio or else we wouldn’t be doing a special edition DVD. They actually admitted as much on paper, which you know studios are loathe to do, and that was actually from the theatrical. Theatrical was a disappointment, as everyone knows, but it did go into the black. Then the DVD came and they took me aside and said “We can’t keep these things on the shelf. We want to do a special edition.” And I didn’t want to hear that because I knew it would have to be a truly special edition to make me happy. There had to be a real reason, some real goodies.

So what will the special edition have for us?

JW: We took some stuff from the region two version; the making of – a really beautiful one that’s a bit longer. It has the first read through for the movie with the cast, two years after the show ended. And it has the River Tam sessions, the stuff I did on the internet with Summer. We got to do another commentary too, Nathan, Summer, Ron and Adam – I made sure it didn’t go the same direction as the first commentary. It feels like this version will be something more for the people who would tend to buy both.

So give me hope for a Serenity II

JW: Hope for it probably rests with this DVD.

So then you’re saying we’ve got a chance?

JW: Well it’s probably not being discussed in boardrooms right now, but the fact of the matter is if it makes enough money sooner or later they say “hey, this is money!” Also there are paradigms that are much cheaper, it doesn’t have to be enormous.

Hitler For The Holidays

This Thing Would Make MacGyver Cream In His Pants

Get a load of this! The Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife is packed with 85 fully functional implements including seven blades, three types of pliers, countless screwdrivers, saws, wrenches, a battery operated torch, a laser pointer with a 300ft range, the thingy that repairs golf divots, a magnifier for mineral crystals, tire-tread gauge, signal whistle and a cigar-cutter. And that's just scratching the surface! Inspector Gadget ain't got nothin' on this baby!

One Of These Polls Was Inspired By Barry Dodd

Final Results (8/12/07):

Would you rather be more creative or smarter?

More creative - 70%
Smarter - 30%


Which major television network would you consider to be your favorite?

ABC - 20%
CBS - 0%
FOX - 30%
NBC - 50%
The CW - 0%


With both men in their prime, who would win in a fist-fight?

Elvis Presley - 0%
Johnny Cash - 100%


When playing checkers, which color do you prefer?

Black - 67%
Red - 33%

Thanks to all who participated!

Geek Quotes FTW

The Board of Wisdom's Top 10 Best Geek Quotes:

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
3. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
4. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
5. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
6. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
7. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
8. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
9. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
10. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

She Had It Coming

Oh, Inverted World

Some folks calling themselves VladStudio created this really cool vision of a "Reversed Earth," showing what the World might look like if land and water were flipped.

(You'll want to click on the image for a detailed view)

Musings Of A Hardcore Legend

In Mick Foley's latest book, he sums up the difference between a conservative and a liberal with a story involving a late-night road trip and two ill-fated raccoons. I found it to be rather insightful.

I have read articles ranging from speculative to scientific on the physical, genetic, or psychological differences between conservatives and liberals, which basically deal with whether political sensibilities are a learned or instilled behavior, or a combination of both. For me, it all comes down to my traumatic raccoon experience. A couple of years ago, I was heading out onto the highway, about half an hour into a four-hundred-mile trip. I've always loved the peace and solitude of the open road, especially when accompanied by some good tunes or a few promos to cut in my head during the course of a late-night sojourn. As a matter of fact, it's probably the thing I miss most about life on the road.

I was really looking forward to this particular drive when a raccoon suddenly darted out into the middle of the highway. I swerved to avoid the little masked bandit, but in doing so, hit a second raccoon whose presence had, until that last split second, been unknown to me. It was a direct hit, a sickening thud that left no doubt as to its victim's fate - roadkill for sure. I turned to my right to see the first raccoon scamper off into the safety of the roadside brush. And in that one moment, my entire trip was ruined. No number of quality tunes could assuage the sadness I felt. Not so much for the dead raccoon, for his demise had been quick, relatively painless, and honorable - after all, it had been the hardcore legend who got him. No, my sorrow was reserved for the surviving raccoon, who would be left to wander aimlessly, ransacking suburban garbage cans without the special friend my Chevy Impala had made such an impression on.

Look, there's no way to rationalize this type of reaction. You're either going to care about the sadness of a surviving raccoon or you're not. You're either going to hit that thing, pop in a CD, and continue your drive unaffected, of you're going to do four hundred miles behind the wheel with a heavy heart.

So if that makes me a bleeding heart, I guess I'll wear that badge with pride.

Walk It Off

I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but I really disagree with allowing fat people to park in handicap spaces. If anything, they should have to park farther away because the walk would do them good.

It's A Buyer's Market For Haunted Lighthouses

FAIRFIELD, Conn. - For sale: $1 property surrounded by Long Island Sound off the coast of Fairfield. Must be able to cope with possible haunting.

The U.S. General Services Administration is seeking a buyer for the Penfield Lighthouse, built in 1874 about 1.1 miles from Fairfield Beach. It is said to be the site of strange occurrences following the drowning of lighthouse keeper Frederick Jordan in 1916.

The agency is offering the lighthouse for $1 in “as is” condition to local, state or federal government agencies or nonprofit organizations. Those interested will have to submit an application identifying their proposed uses of the lighthouse, besides that of a navigational beacon, and how they will pay for that use and maintenance.

Fairfield First Selectman Kenneth Flatto said the town is very interested in acquiring the property, which is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

The 51-foot-tall lighthouse sits on a concrete foundation surrounded by rocks. It is attached to a two-story keeper’s residence.

According to legend, Jordan drowned in December 1916 when his boat capsized near the lighthouse and appeared as a ghost two weeks later to his assistant, Rudolph Iten, the Connecticut Post reported yesterday.

Iten took over for Jordan after his death. In his log, Iten wrote that Jordan’s apparition glided down the tower’s stairs and disappeared into darkness. Iten then found the keeper’s log opened to the page that documented Jordan’s death, the Post reported.

(from bostonherald.com)

Color Me Surprised

So I watched The Devil Wears Prada on HBO today and I actually really enjoyed it. I couldn't care less about the world of fashion, but this worked for me. Go figure.

The Absolute Worst

I just have to say that I have found no greater source of frustration in life than in dealing with the people of Time Warner Cable. I loathe that company with every fiber of my being.

My 2nd Emo Post

I saw this on a t-shirt today and it made me laugh.

College Professors, Take Note

Ron Hammond, Phd, professor at Utah Valley State College, has quit using textbooks in his classes. Why? They're too expensive.

The cost of textbooks is rising faster than inflation and Hammond doesn't feel right forcing his students to purchase ever more expensive books on top of their already expensive tuition and fees.

"I think it's immoral because of the cost of it," Hammond told the Central Utah Daily Herald.

Instead of textbooks, Hammond has been assigning journal articles and other reading materials that his students can check out from the library or download from the internet, a practice which, if every one of their professors did it, would save students (on average) $900 a year.

It took Hammond a year to rewrite his own curriculum, after throwing out all his old textbooks. "It was worth it in the long run," Hammond said.

(from The Consumerist)

Number 15 Should Be Higher On The List

Here are the Top 25 Greatest Simpsons Quotes according to Blogzarro.com:

1. Homer: D’oh.
2. Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
3. Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
4. Sideshow Bob: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
5. Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
6. Comic Book Guy: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…
7. Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
8. Ned Flanders: I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!
9. Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.
10. Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
11. Sideshow Bob: I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
12. Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
13. Nelson: Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!
14. Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
15. Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
16. Comic Book Guy: Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
17. Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
18. Homer: Save me, Jeebus.
19. Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.
20. Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
21. Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
22. Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?
23. Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
24. Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
25. Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Bush Vs. PBS

The House on Wednesday evening overwhelmingly rejected President Bush's plan to eliminate the $420 million federal subsidy for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

The 357-72 vote demonstrated the enduring political strength of public broadcasting. The outcome was never in doubt, unlike a fight two years ago when Republicans tried but failed to slash public broadcasting subsidies.

The move to kill subsidies for the CPB, which make up about 15 percent of its budget, was launched by Rep. Doug Lamborn, R-Colorado.

"Taxpayers are being asked to pay more in taxes because Congress is not willing to make hard choices and balance our spending with our income," Lamborn said.
Congress created the corporation in 1967 to shield public broadcasting from political influence. The CPB distributes federal subsidies to PBS, National Public Radio and hundreds of public radio and television stations.

"It is providing a voice for America, a noncommercial, independent voice that is sadly lacking. It isn't available any place else in the million channels on our cable networks," said Rep. Earl Blumenauer, D-Oregon.

(from cnn.com)

Blogger's Note: It's nice to see some measure of sanity coming out of Washington.

I Need This Controversy Settled As Only Democracy Can

Final Results (7/26/07):

What color socks should be worn with khakis and black shoes?

Tan - 11%
Black - 56%
White - 11%
Grey - 22%

Thanks to all who provided feedback!

Telling It Like It is

(from wired.com)

It's hard to believe, but every so often the developers at E3 forget that they're talking to a room full of journalists and they say something that they probably shouldn't.

A developer was demonstrating her team's multiplatform game for myself and two other journalists, both of whom happened to have been from Xbox-specific outlets. She jokingly asked if it was ok that we were going to see the Wii version, and the two guys chucklingly assured her that yeah, that was fine.

Picking up the controls, she began sorting through the debug menu to get to the bit of the game that she actually wanted to show us, making idle chitchat as she did so.

"Of course this will be on the 360, too. We love the 360. Hoo, we love it." Pause as she waited for the demo to load. "We love the Wii, too, it's a lot of fun. Playstation, pfffffffft. Gah." One of the Xbox guys laughs at that and she goes on to say how hard it is to "get anything to run on that box."

A Notice For All You Pack Rats

If you happen to have an Osama Bin Laden stashed away somewhere, the US Senate just voted 87-1 in favor of doubling the reward for his death or capture to $50 million.

A Unique Hidden Gusset, You Say? I'll Take Two!

Get a load of that behind! He's all man, that's for sure.

The Circus Is In Town

What happens when the tallest man in the world meets the shortest? You get a really creepy picture like the one found below.

Here we see Mr. Xishun, sporting his Dorothy Zbornak look, shaking hands with Mr. Ping Ping, who is understandably feeling a tad overdressed.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

(the following is an excerpt from TV Critic Ian Jones' article "Rise And Fall Of A Comic Genius" which was originally published in The Guardian.)

Once, it was the greatest show on TV. Every episode was brimming with imagination, excitement and some of the sharpest one-liners to come out of America for decades. But above all it was smart: The Simpsons knew how to parry crudity with intelligence blow for blow. Bart's big-haired nemesis Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake nine times would be followed up with a surreal two-minute performance of HMS Pinafore. Homer lobbing a lookalike of himself over a waterfall would be followed by a reference to Walt Whitman's collection of poems, Leaves and Grass. This was dizzyingly intelligent, daring, exhilarating stuff. For every burp gag came an arch pop-culture reference. For every time Homer fell down the stairs or Bart got strangled, we had a nifty TV parody or sly political dig.

And it kept on coming, week after week. An entire generation didn't understand it. George Bush senior, then US president, even wished aloud that American families could be more like the Waltons than the Simpsons. A massive rift opened up between those who "got" The Simpsons and those who hated it. You chose your side carefully. To be a Simpsons fan was truly one of the most privileged things in the world.

Then it all changed. A new guard took over and ripped up the rules. Veterans of the show with pedigrees on venerated US comedy institutions like Saturday Night Live and The Tonight Show - Jon Vitti, George Meyer, John Schwartzwelder - either departed or went part-time. In came writers who had cut their teeth on sappy teen comedies like Blossom and unsophisticated knockabouts like Beavis and Butt-Head. A looser, lazier sensibility took hold, given free rein by new executive producer Mike Scully. And the show became stupid.

You can even put a date on it: 1997, in the early episodes of the ninth series, where the head of Bart's school, Principal Skinner, was suddenly, arbitrarily revealed to be an impostor, and his entire life to date had been a lie. Come again? A major character in a long-running series gets unmasked as a fraud? It was cheap, idle storytelling.

This was just the start. The show went on to jettison all interest in pretending to have earthy, avuncular roots: the warm, good-natured centre that, when you scraped away the multi-layered jokes and cerebral grandstanding, had been there from day one was obliterated. No longer did we see the family bonding, caring for each other, showing emotion. Instead, it was anything goes.

Plots swung sickeningly from one cliche to another. Jokes arrived out of the blue for no reason. No attempt was made to cling to reality. Now Homer would end up in new employment six or seven times a series. To date, he's held 118 (and counting) jobs, from missionary to garbage commissioner to grease salesman to fortune cookie writer, which wouldn't be such a damning statistic had almost none of them been particularly funny.

True, a long-running series has to evolve. Nobody would expect Simpsons episodes to still be solely about Lisa getting a pony or Bart failing a school exam. But, in the second decade of its life, The Simpsons evolved into a dreadfully predictable monster. With each new series came the same questions. Which foreign country will the family just happen to end up visiting this time? Which pop star will the family just happen to encounter while there? And what unsubtle bit of physical violence will Homer be subjected to en route? Contract leprosy, perhaps; get raped by a panda; or maybe get his head trapped between two halves of a lowering drawbridge?

This was change all right, but change as an excuse for idiocy. It was desperately disheartening for those who cherished and loved the show's early years. Watching Homer hold forth on the topless women he'd seen on holiday in Florida, or Marge accidentally getting breast implants, you wanted everything to be revealed as a huge wind-up, or a cunning satire on trashy TV. But there was no hidden agenda. What you saw was what you got: a base, repetitive, unfunny cartoon.

Blogger's Note: This guy really hit the nail on the head. I've said for years that The Simpsons stopped being good around season 10. It's a real bummer when a show is dragged on for too long instead of finishing on a high, with dignity.

I Really Like Chicken Salad

Quote of the day once again belongs to Jeremy...

"I'm quick to assume the worst when it comes to people's use of mayo. It's my one and only fault."

-Jeremy Snell

Smut For Smut

(from xbiz)

A group of atheists at the University of Texas at San Antonio is putting a novel twist on the toys-for-guns programs run by many urban police departments. But instead of toys, they are handing out porn in exchange for bibles.

“We consider the bible to be a very negative force in the history of the world,” student Ryan Walker said. Walker is part of a student group that calls itself the Atheist Agenda.

Club members this week posted fliers promoting what they call the “Smut for Smut” campaign then set up a table in the student union to collect religious materials and pass out adult magazines such as Black Label and Playboy.

The group is not officially sanctioned by the university and has raised the ire of several religious organizations on campus.

“In my opinion, there are no atheists. There are fools,” Pastor Rick Hawkins of UTSA’s Family Praise Center said. “So, that would be foolish propaganda. I don't know one believer that would take his Bible and turn it in for pornography.”

Hawkins obviously didn’t stop by the Atheist Agenda table, where several students had dropped off copies of the good book and walked away with skin mags.

Athiest Agenda isn’t the first student group to explore the idea of introducing porn to former bible toters. Members say they got the idea from students in Austin who ran a similar pro-porn drive.

Walker added that members thought it sounded like a creative way to exercise their freedom of speech.

(Special thanks to Bryan for sharing the link)

They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take Our Allspark!

Here's another quote of the day winner:


Regarding the Transformers movie...

"I wanted it to be Braveheart starring Optimus Prime."

-Chris Brewer

Fun With Post-Its

If a friend of yours ever purchases a $60,000 Jaguar, this would be a great prank to pull on them.

Transformers Review

HIGHS

• I went into this movie with one expectation: to see giant robots tear shit up. And that expectation was most definitely fulfilled.
• Unlike the Star Wars prequels, the Transformers movie was not a bastardization of my childhood. I would say they did a pretty admirable job or transferring the material to a live action, real-world format. What would sound pretty hokey on paper, was made to seem as credible as possible on film.
• Pound for pound, probably the best special effects ever seen in a film. You will believe the robots are real. Exceptional work across the board.
• The movie had a good sense of humor about it. A tad hokey at times, but never too much so. For the most part the jokes really worked and the dialogue wasn't painful. A relatively consistent tone was maintained, even when things got crazy.
• As far as summer action movies go, Transformers makes Spider-man 3 look like amateur hour at The Apollo.
• I distinctly remember a point in the movie where the action was so intense that I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. That's gotta count for something.
• I read a quote from Spielberg the other day saying that Transformers was "a movie Michael Bay was born to direct." I guess he was probably right about that.
  

LOWS

• This IS a Michael Bay movie, so the script isn't perfect. There were a lot of plot points that could have been flushed out better. If the quality of the story were on par with the action scenes, this would be some cinematic gold.
• The majority of the Decepticons were introduced fairly late in the film and seemed kind of rushed. I didn't feel that the notion of a "war between Autobots and Decepticons" was ever fully realized. Felt more like a localized threat, rather than a global one.
• What is Michael Bay's fascination with flares?
  

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random related fact: It took approximately 38 hours for the animators at Industrial Light & Magic to render one frame of the CGI animation to portray the Transformers. This breaks the record set by Weta Workshop for The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), where it took 20 hours to animate a frame of CGI to portray the Ent, Treebeard.

Important Question

What would happen if you put actress Minnie Driver into a Mini Cooper S? Would the universe implode if Minnie Driver became a Mini driver? Has anyone dared to test this theory? Is this my most frivolous blog entry yet?

Five Lessons Learned From Watching Die Hard

5) It Is Impossible To Get Fired From The Police Force
NYPD, LAPD, it doesn't matter. We haven't worked out the exact science on this, but there is definitely a direct correlation between throwing Hans Gruber off a building and total immunity. Seriously, you cannot blow up enough buildings, crash enough cars or drink enough booze to ever get fired.

Lesson learned: As we understand it, joining the police force means we can ignore the orders of our superiors and kill whomever the hell we want every single Christmas and no one will care. Taking out maybe one or two terrorists a year evidently gives us the total freedom to wreck boats, drive cars through helicopters and generally avoid doing any actual police work.

Honestly, in Live Free or Die Hard, an on-duty John McClane just hung around Rutgers terrorizing his daughter's boyfriend for about 20 minutes. Why was he doing that instead of protecting innocent people from deranged stalkers? Shut the fuck up, that's why.

4) Every Single German Is A Dick
Go ahead and take a random sample. Pick any one of the German characters who have appeared in a Die Hard film. Really, close your eyes and pick any goddamn one: We guarantee you that he (or she) is a total bastard. And, we're not just looking at one movie: We've got four movies here that span about two decades. That is more than enough evidence. Ten out of 10 German guys that have gotten in McClane's way have been total dicks. It naturally follows that 10 out of 10 German people in the real world are to be mistrusted and shot on sight. Go ahead and try to argue with math, we dare you.

Bonus: With the addition of a handful of evil French bastards in Live Free or Die Hard, just to be safe, we might as well change the category to include all foreigners in general.

3) Black People Can't Wait To Help You
Whether you're murdering a guy for holding your wife hostage or simply murdering that same guy's brother for no good reason, there will undoubtedly be a zany black stereotype who just can't wait to help you. If you're driving around Harlem and you need directions or a light, well you're screwed. But if you need someone to follow you around all day and help you blow up terrorists, there will be a line of eager, wacky black folks who want nothing more than to quit their jobs and help you while pointing out the subtle differences between black and white people.

Note: If you completely run out of black people, Justin Long is just as talkative and quirky, though significantly less zany.

2) A Well-Timed "Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker" Will Get You Out Of Any Jam
Watching the Die Hard documentaries (Diecumentaries), one might think that all confidently saying “Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker” does is make you bulletproof—but that is, as advanced students will recognize, a gross understatement. It just happens that Professor McClane only uses the phrase when he's about to dive face-first into a tornado of bullets and accents, but don't let his sparing use of the ol' YKYMF fool you; its powers are almost limitless.

Truth be told, “Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker” has, without fail, helped us out in all of the following areas:

* Parking tickets
* Jury duty
* Heart surgery
* Out of toilet paper
* Bees
* 12-page paper on post-colonial literature
* Wedding vows

Go ahead and try it out. There is not one problem you could possibly face whose solution isn't eight syllables of ass-kicking-American-cowboy awesomeness. “Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker” isn't just a tasty garnish for blowing up terrorists anymore.

1) Alcohol Makes You a Stronger, Louder, More Efficient American Killing Machine
Before we saw the Die Hard franchise, we thought alcohol was just something to get our moms through their pregnancies. Based on the Gospel according to McClane, however, we now know that you don't need assistance, shoes, a badge or even a reasonable excuse to blow up anyone or anything that (maybe) interferes with your God-given right to live free and/or die hard; you just need a socially degenerative drinking habit.

If these movies have taught us anything, (and this article pretty much lives and dies on the fact that they've taught us five things), it's that either binge-drinking or a hangover directly preceded 90 minutes of solid ass-kickery in every single movie. Step one: Drink. Step two: Save America.

So, the next time you catch a coworker drinking on the job, don't report him to your boss, ya narc. Or, when you see a homeless man desperately sucking out the last few drops of someone else's discarded bottle of wine, don't shake your head disapprovingly. Or, when you see your dad hurling slurred insults at those “filthy, job-stealing Mexicants,” do not rudely point out how you can completely understand why mom left. You thank them for their patriotism, and you get the hell out of their way.

(from cracked.com)

Some Polling Should Start Your July Off Swell

Final Results (7/10/07):

Which of these movie titles is the worst?

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! - 0%
Bend It Like Beckham - 36% (tie)
Hope Floats - 18%
Operation Dumbo Drop - 36% (tie)
Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo - 9%


Apple iPhone...

I'm trendy and I want one! - 42%
$600? Give me a break - 58%


Which of these cereal mascots is most obnoxious?

Toucan Sam - 9%
Cap'n Crunch - 0%
Lucky The Leprechaun - 36% (tie)
The Trix Rabbit - 18%
Sonny "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" - 36% (tie)

Thanks to all who participated!

My Kind Of Reading Material

It's pretty common knowledge that I get in a good deal of Sony-bashing on my blog. What can I say, they're an easy target. But I'm a fair man and more than willing to recognize when they actually come up with something clever. Just don't expect this to be a continuing trend...

Sunday Golf Reflections

I give you the quote of the day courtesy of my pal, Jeremy:

"I want to know who these people are at golf matches that yell, "Get in the hole!" after every swing. They need to be punched in the face."

-Jeremy Snell

Maybe They Should Call it "Delaystation"

Congratulations, Playstation 3! You finally got your very own Rainbow Six Vegas this week; the game I played through to completion over eight months ago on the Xbox 360.

Live Free Or Die Hard Review

HIGHS

• Some of the action scenes were really well shot. Great use of panning cameras and interesting angles that help add to the overall intensity.
• The first 30 minutes or so were actually pretty okay, but it was a constant downhill slide from there.
• The actress playing John McClane's daughter wasn't annoying. That's pretty significant, as more often than not that sort of character would be.
• Justin Long did a pretty decent job as the comic relief sidekick. But that may be my slight attraction toward him talking. I try to remain as objective as I can, but c'mon, he's a cutie.
• This movie will make you appreciate Die Hard 3 more.
  

LOWS

• Let's get one thing clear right off the bat. This is not a Die Hard movie. This is some other kind of action movie that happens to star Bruce Willis as John McClane. The similarities end there.
• I hate the fact that the movie was dumbed down to get a PG-13 rating. John McClane swears. A lot. He finds himself in crazy situations where dropping f-bombs is completely necessary and expected. A restrained McClane does not cut the mustard. It's almost as bad as trying to show The Sopranos on A&E...
• Some of the action was very unrealistic. John McClane is not a superhero. He's just a tough cop who does what he can to survive. He should not find himself surfing on fighter jets.
• The story is more convoluted than it needed to be and meandered a lot. The writers really wanted me to think what was happening was a big deal, but I just wasn't buying it.
• Really lame villain. He talked through clenched teeth and pursed lips and I just wanted him to die. You're supposed to hate the villain, but for different reasons. This guy was no Hans Gruber, let me tell you. He didn't even have an accent!
• The dialogue was pretty awful at times. Borderline eye-roll inducing, which is not what you want in a Die Hard flick.
• Some bad green screen work that is really inexcusable in today's age of top-notch effects.
• Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, that d-bag Kevin Smith shows up playing, what else, a big fat nerdy loser residing in his mother's basement. And seriously, my hatred for Kevin Smith aside, his acting was atrocious. Stick with the silent thing, please.
  

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random related fact: Jessica Simpson auditioned unsuccessfully for the role of Bruce Willis' daughter.

I Like When Things Go Boom

***My 500th Post!***

It's no secret that I'm a sucker for over-the-top action scenes. Why else would I have rented Bad Boys II? A movie doesn't have to be good to be entertaining, in my opinion.

Here are The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Action Movie Moments as compiled by TheShiznit.co.uk:

1) WILL SMITH GIVES THE ALIENS A VIRUS in INDEPENDENCE DAY
The lowdown: Aliens blow six shades of shit out of Planet Earth’s major landmarks from their massive bastard spaceships. Conveniently, Area 51 still has an old alien cruiser from when they stopped by Roswell for a holiday, and Will Smith has got a plan...
Why so ridiculous? Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum both hop on board the crashed alien vessel and fly to the mothership, uploading a virus that brings down the alien shields. Are you fucking kidding me? This is a film in which aliens attack Earth, and the most unbelievable part is still buying the fact that our hardware is compatible with alien technology. “Upload a virus? Sure! I’ll go ahead and assume the aliens are using Windows Vista and save the world!”
In reality... They travel all that way only to realise the aliens don’t even have a USB drive on their computers. Earth explodes and Will Smith gets a tentacle up the arse for good measure.
Wins the award for: Outstanding Contribution To Outer Space Explosions.

2) THE BUS JUMP in SPEED
The lowdown: Crazy terrorist Dennis Hopper has planted a bomb on a city bus, which will detonate when the speedo dips below 50mph. Cue chaos as the bus full of passengers tears it up through interstates and side roads, with only Keanu Reeves’ hot-head cop on board.
Why so ridiculous? Speed’s concept is a fantastic premise, but that doesn’t mean the movie can suddenly ignore the laws of physics. Approaching a gap in the approaching overpass, Keanu convinces Sandy Bullock’s driver to punch it, and the bus sails over the 30ft gap in glorious slow motion, landing with a bump (at over 50mph at that). Of course it does! Reeves later tries the same trick with a train, but fails. Jerkwad.
In reality... The bus takes a nosedive straight through the freeway and takes out dozens of innocent passengers, all of whom curse Keanu’s name as they meet a fiery death.
Wins the award for: Most Liberal Use Of Gravity.

3) THE DOWNHILL SHANTY TOWN DEMOLITION in BAD BOYS II
The lowdown: Bad boys Mike Lowry and Marcus Burnett are on the trail of one of Cuba’s biggest drug kingpins, Johnny Tapia. After over two hours of gung-ho action, sideways shooting and mildly amusing quips, they hop into a yellow Hummer and go offroad.
Why so ridiculous? Behind the wheel of their indestructible truck, the bad boys are chased down a hill, smashing through several houses in a small wooden shanty town seemingly on purpose. Forget the fact that dozens, if not hundreds of poor ethnic townsfolk would be killed in the resulting downhill demolition – these people have been making drugs, so they deserved to die! Screaming! Under the wheels of Will Smith’s car!
In reality... The druglord escapes and a few more people in the world get high. Lowry and Burnett are charged with 168 cases of manslaughter. Bad boys for life!
Wins the award for: Most Bodacious Disregard For Human Life.

4) “I THINK WORLD WAR II JUST STARTED!” in PEARL HARBOR
The lowdown: Michael Bay directs a typically understated drama on the horrors of the attack on Pearl Harbour during the Second World War, which in no way makes entertainment of out tragedy. Starring Ben Affleck.
Why so ridiculous? Americans just love a movie they can whoop and holler at, and nothing brings together the masses like a dumbass US war film. Maybe, just maybe, Michael Bay wasn’t the most tactful of choices to direct. Among a laundry list of historical inaccuracies was Josh Hartnett’s character exclaiming: “I think World War II just started!” Yes, that’s in 1941. Two years after the rest of the world had already got their fight on. And Americans wonder why the rest of the world think they’re stupid.
In reality... Hartnett says: “I think it’s time for us Americans to step in and save the world!” Still full of shit, but slightly more accurate.
Wins the award for: Best Use Of Explosions To Cover Up Historical Goofs.

5) VIN DIESEL SNOWBOARDS DOWN AN AVALANCHE in xXx
The lowdown: A James Bond for a new generation, Xander Cage aka xXx is an extreme sports nut and part-time anarchist who is recruited by the government to go undercover in a group of terrorists, while looking like he’s not particularly bothered about anything.
Why so ridiculous? The whole movie’s dumber than a box of pebbles so singling out the stupidest scene is a little like finding the dunce in a class of retarded kids. Using his extreme sports skills TO THE MAX, xXx avoids a well-deserved death by avalanche by hopping on a snowboard and riding that bitch to the bottom. Clinging safely onto a thin metal pole at the foot of the mountain, he’s unaffected by the huge landslide, which incidentally smashes a huge house to bits and kills several dumbass henchmen in the process. EXTREEEEME!
In reality... Diesel cops a lungful of snow and rests in peace under twenty feet of freshly laid piste.
Wins the award for: Best Parody Of A PlayStation Game.

6) THE SKYSCRAPER FREEFALL in THE ISLAND
The lowdown: Two clones escape a testing facility where they’re being bred as spare parts for rich twats with duff organs and saggy tits. They make it into the real world only to be pursued by facility staff and the po-leece.
Why so ridiculous? Please, this is action spaz Michael Bay. Not only do the clones manage to evade capture on foot when their pursuers have hover bikes and guns, but they manage to fall from the roof of a 70-story skyscraper – clinging onto a gigantic corporate logo of the letter ‘R’ (which presumably stands for retarded) – and land caught up in netting without a scratch. This being a Bay film, two helicopters also explode in the same stunt. Because you can’t have people falling off buildings without exploding a helicopter or two.
In reality... The clones escape but are burned alive by Christian protestors for being abhorrent freaks of nature.
Wins the award for: Best Half-Arsed Idea Executed By Michael Bay.

7) SNAKE PLISSKEN SURFS A TSUNAMI in ESCAPE FROM L.A.
The lowdown: Gruff criminal and all-round cool guy Snake is once again recruited by the government, this time to infiltrate the prison island of Los Angeles and receive a doomsday device stolen by the president’s daughter.
Why so ridiculous? From the outset, it’s clear Escape From L.A. is John Carpenter on autopilot – it’s clearly not meant to be taken seriously, though perhaps someone should have told Kurt Russell. The man they call Snake hangs ten while surfing a tsunami wave down Wiltshire Boulevard and then jumps off his surfboard onto the back of a moving car like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Consider the life-or-death basketball match and weep that such a cool character appeared in such baloney - making Snake surf is like making Han Solo hand glide.
In reality... “The most notorious criminal in US history” realises he’s about as adept at surfing as Stephen Hawking and bails, breaking his pelvis and dooming the planet.
Wins the award for: Stubbliest Anti-Hero Performing An Extreme Sport.

8) CRANK (THE WHOLE DAMN THING)
The lowdown: Chev Chelios (the lunacy has started already) is a professional assassin who wakes up to find he’s been poisoned. If his heart rate dips he’ll die, so he’s got to stay full of adrenaline at all times. A perfect excuse for a lack of plot - cue the mindless action!
Why so ridiculous? From beginning to end, Crank is one big clusterfuck of ridiculous action scenes, the Adrenaline turned up to 11 with the Logic firmly on mute. Watching Chev headbutt his friends, shag his missus in public, swan dive off a moving motorbike and run around with a gigantic boner never gets tired, but it stretches credibility to breaking point. It might be like ‘Speed On A Person’, but hell - it sure is fun.
In reality... Chev’s enemies cut his throat in his sleep, rather than give him a slow-working poison that might just encourage him to get angry.
Wins the award for: Worst Character Name Since Korben Dallas.

9) THE SHITTY SCORPION KING in THE MUMMY RETURNS
The lowdown: Rick and Evelyn again battle hordes of mummies as Imhotep is once again raised from the dead to cause trouble. The adventure takes the gang into the temple of the Scorpion King (played by The Rock) who, if resurrected, will destroy the world or something.
Why so ridiculous? Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Seriously? Ha ha haaa. A word in the ear of any directors: make sure you don’t spunk your entire SFX budget up the wall before the final battle, otherwise you risk your heroes facing off against a CG abomination that looks like it was made in Microsoft Paint. As Rick struggles with the shockingly shabby Scorpion King, it looks likes he’s fighting a Create-A-Wrestler from the WWF Smackdown videogame. A computer-generated low that’ll be tough to beat.
In reality... Rick must save the world from a tennis ball on a stick.
Wins the award for: Best Use Of An Atari 2600 For Special Effects.

10) TOMMY LEE JONES OUTRUNS A FALLING BUILDING in VOLCANO
The lowdown: A volcano erupts in Los Angeles and clever clogs TLJ reasons that they divert the lava into the ocean by detonating buildings (a good idea). Unfortunately, he’s standing underneath one when they do (a bad idea).
Why so ridiculous? Tommy Lee Jones looks like a man who’d struggle to outrun a corpse at the best of times, so having him outrun a falling skyscraper is a pretty fucking big stretch of the imagination. Not only does the old codger manage to defy logic and physics, he scoops up a mop-topped youngster while doing it. When he emerges from the rubble to see all different races covered in ash, the brat remarks “They all look the same!” Damn, I used to be a huge racist, but not any more!
In reality... Tommy takes two steps before a building lands on his head. Add another grave to the Three Burials.
Wins the award for: Fastest 100-Yard Dash (Geriatric Division).

Blogger's Note: Here are some of my personal picks:

JAKE GYLLENHAAL OUTRUNNING FROST in THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
THE FIRE HOSE SCENE in THE TRANSPORTER 2
THE CLIFFHANGING TRAILER SCENE in THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
DUELING WATER WHEEL SHENANIGANS in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST

Cream Of The Sci-Fi Crop

Here are Rotten Tomatoes' 25 Best-Reviewed Sci-Fi Films Of All Time:

1. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
2. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
3. Metropolis (1926)
4. Alien (1979)
5. Minority Report (2002)
6. The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
7. Children Of Men (2006)
8. The Host (2007)
9. Star Wars (1977)
10. Aliens (1986)
11. The Road Warrior (1981)
12. The Bride Of Frankenstein (1935)
13. Galaxy Quest (1999)
14. Brazil (1985)
15. The Terminator (1984)
16. Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956)
17. Solaris (1972)
18. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
19. Frankenstein (1931)
20. Mad Max (1979)
21. Repo Man (1984)
22. Back To The Future (1985)
23. Sleeper (1973)
24. Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1978)
25. Gojira (1954)

Blogger's Note: Minority Report at #5! Take that, practically everyone I know!

Gay Used To Mean Happy

(Thanks to Bryan for the pic)

Scientists Have Theorized That The T-Rex Could Probably Breathe Fire

I have no idea if this kids menu is for real, but I sure got a good chuckle out of it. As always, click on each photo for a larger view.

Each Color As Unique As You Are

(you'll want to click on the photo for an enlarged view)

Like A Fine Wine?

Here is the first photo in 18 years of Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. He's definitely showing his age but I'd say the fedora still fits.

The Nerdy Pictures Post

Here are three nerdy photos I came across this morning. (the Millennium Falcon scene was constructed from Legos)

High Quality H2O

The Ririan Project has compiled a list of 10 Reasons to Drink More Water. Follow the link for a more detailed list on their site.

1. Get Healthy Skin
2. Flush Toxins
3. Reduce Your Risk Of Heart Attack
4. Cushion And Lube Your Joints And Muscles
5. Get Energized And Be Alert
6. Stay Regular
7. Reduce Your Risk Of Disease And Infection
8. Regulate Your Body Temperature
9. Burn More Fat And Build More Muscle
10. Get Well

Polls For Your Amusement

Final Results (6/28/07):

When attending a summer BBQ, which do you go for first?

Hamburger - 75%
Hotdog - 25%
Veggie/Tofu Nonsense - 0%


I once joked, "That's So Raven? More like Fatso Raven!" Is this...

Cruel - 36%
Funny - 64%


When hankering an alcoholic beverage, you typically prefer:

Beer - 55%
Wine - 9%
Liquor - 36%

Thanks to all who participated!

How Not To Run A Business

It's been awhile since I've stuck it to Sony on here, so what better time than now? Here is a collection of ridiculous quotes Sony big-wigs have made regarding the PS3 and its competition:

"It’s probably too cheap…"
– Ken Kutaragi, Regarding the $499 to $599 price point

"(the PS3) is not a game machine…"
- Ken Kutaragi, Regarding the machine’s beefy hardware architecture

"…for consumers to think to themselves ‘I will work more hours to buy one’. We want people to feel that they want it, irrespective of anything else."
– Ken Kutaragi, explaining their marketing goals for the PS3

"We do not care."
– Kaz Hirai, current President of Computer Entertainment, regarding competition from Microsoft and Nintendo

"I don't think the battle would be any different with or without Grand Theft Auto... I don't think it (losing Grand Theft Auto would) hurts us. No, I really don't."
- Jack Tretton, Sony Computer Entertainment America president and CEO

"If you can find a PS3 anywhere in North America that's been on shelves for more than five minutes, I'll give you 1200 bucks for it."
- Jack Tretton, Sony Computer Entertainment America president and CEO

"The first five million are going to buy it (PS3), whatever it is, even [if] it didn't have games."
- David Reeves, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe CEO

"Microsoft does not concern us. Microsoft is not a technology company."
- Nobuyuki Idei, Sony chief corporate adviser in an interview with BBC NEWS

"A bit pricey."
- Michael Ephraim, Managing Director of Sony Computer Entertainment Australia, speaking about Nintendo Wii in an interview with the age.com

"The PlayStation 3 is a computer. We do not need the PC."
- Phil Harrison, president of Sony Worldwide Studios, in an interview with GameSpot

"Nintendo knows its target audience, because it has really narrowed that down; and it’s pretty much defined by a boy or girl’s ability to admire Pokemon."
- Phil Harrison, president of Sony Computer Entertainment's Worldwide Studios

"Consider the US with its massive land and cheap people. Then you look at the UK - a little island where rent and rates are at an absolute premium, and the cost of people is a lot more."
- Sony's take on the consumers, as told by UK Managing Director Ray Maguire to website gamesindustry.biz

"I have no concerns about the competition."
- Phil Harrison, president of Sony Worldwide Studios speaking at the Game Developer Conference

"I don’t think we’re arrogant."
– Phil Harrison, regarding consumer perception of Sony

The Muppet Man

I was in an IRC channel tonight when someone made the comment...

"I think the world needs Jim Henson now more than ever."

It struck me as insightful, somehow. I think he's probably right.

Too Much Wang?

85% of the 1.3 billion citizens of China share only about 100 family names. There are 93 million people with the surname Wang.

(from Yahoo News)

Bro Rape: A Newsline Investigative Report

(Thanks to Chris for showing me this fantastic vid)

Black [updated 6/13/07]

Did anyone see the Sopranos finale last night? I feel the need to get some other viewpoints on the ending. I'm left feeling a tad bewildered...

Spoiler Alert: The post that follows as well as the comments section contain plot details from the finale episode. Consider yourself warned.

The following is from Kevin Levine's blog. He has written/produced/directed shows like MASH, Cheers, Frasier, The Simpsons, Everybody Loves Raymond and many others over the course of his 30-year career.

"If The Sopranos Were On A Major Network"

• The finale would be at least two hours.
• There would be a one hour clip show hosted by Bob Costas preceding it.
• There would be live coverage of the cast party on the network’s local 11:00 news. It would be the lead story even if Hurricane Katrina hit that day.
• There would be a little animated promo swooshing across the bottom of the screen after every commercial break of every other prime time show on that network for two weeks. A little gun would shoot a little mobster. The blood would spell out SOPRANOS.
• Also, on the bottom of the screen there would be a little countdown clock for a month leading up to the finale.
• The cast would be on that network’s late night talk show. If the network didn’t have a late night talk show they would create one just for this purpose.
• An online contest would offer prizes if you guessed who would be whacked and when. That way you could watch the final episode and play along at home.
• They would spin off Janice. Coming in September: WIDOW WITH CHILDREN.
• They would insist that Tony’s mother return despite the fact that the actress who played her has died.
• They would NEVER EVER EVER allow an ambiguous ending.
• They would want the following changes in the last scene. Meadow should drive a Ford because that’s who is sponsoring. She should have no trouble parallel parking because Fords are easy to parallel park. The restaurant must be TGI Fridays – also a sponsor and much more colorful. The threat should come from a singing waiter wearing a straw hat, suspenders, and hundreds of fun buttons. A secondary threat should be an Arab terrorist with a scar. The Arab should pull his gun. The waiter should point his banjo (which is also a semi-automatic rifle). It looks like Tony, Carmela, and A.J. are done for it. Final commercial break. We come back just as Meadow bursts in the door with an Uzi and blows the bad guys away. Meadow, it seems, has just come from dance class and is wearing nothing but a hot leotards. Tony says, “That’s what I get for going to Fridays on Tuesday.” The family shares a laugh. Meadow sits down. Everyone hugs and declares their love for each other. Carmelo calls out, “Can we get ANOTHER waiter?” They laugh. One more hug. Long fade out, as music swells – Dino’s “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head”. Fade out. Your local news is next.
  

So if you’re still pissed at David Chase for the way he really ended the series just think of the alternative.

(Thanks to Rawson for the link)

Results May Vary

Just in time for summer- Make your own ice cream in under five minutes!

What You'll Need:

1 tablespoon Sugar
1/2 cup Milk or half & half
1/4 teaspoon Vanilla
6 tablespoons Rock salt
1 pint-size Ziploc plastic bag
1 gallon-size Ziploc plastic bag
Ice cubes

Step 1: Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag.
Step 2: Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it.
Step 3: Place the small bag inside the large one and seal again carefully.
Step 4: Shake until mixture is ice cream, about 5 minutes.
Step 5: Wipe off top of small bag, then open carefully and enjoy!

(from The Kaboose Family Network)

Behold, The ZoomQuilt!

Click on the picture below and prepare to be amazed right out of your socks!

Gamer Beware

Here's a nice example of why I don't generally do business with Gamestop.

Like A Good Neighbor

Here are some interesting things you probably didn't know about Mr. Fred Rogers (at least I didn't).

(from Mental_floss)

Most people have heard of Koko, the Stanford-educated gorilla who could speak about 1000 words in American Sign Language, and understand about 2000 in English. What most people don’t know, however, is that Koko was an avid Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fan. As Esquire reported, when Fred Rogers took a trip out to meet Koko for his show, not only did she immediately wrap her arms around him and embrace him, she did what she’d always seen him do onscreen: she proceeded to take his shoes off!

According to a TV Guide piece on him, Fred Rogers drove a plain old Impala for years. One day, however, the car was stolen from the street near the TV station. When Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by every newspaper, radio and media outlet around town. Amazingly, within 48 hours the car was left in the exact spot where it was taken from, with an apology on the dashboard. It read, “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it.”

Mr. Rogers weighed in at exactly 143 pounds every day for the last 30 years of his life. He didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, didn’t eat the flesh of any animals, and was extremely disciplined in his daily routine. And while I’m not sure if any of that was because he’d mostly grown up a chubby, single child, Junod points out that Rogers found beauty in the number 143. According to the piece, Rogers came “to see that number as a gift… because, as he says, “the number 143 means ‘I love you.’ It takes one letter to say ‘I’ and four letters to say ‘love’ and three letters to say ‘you.’ One hundred and forty-three.”

When the government wanted to cut Public Television funds in 1969, the relatively unknown Mister Rogers went to Washington. Almost straight out of a Capra film, his 5-6 minute testimony on how TV had the potential to give kids hope and create more productive citizens was so simple but passionate that even the most gruff politicians were charmed. While the budget should have been cut, the funding instead jumped from $9 to $22 million. Rogers also spoke to Congress, and swayed senators into voting to allow VCR’s to record television shows from the home. It was a cantankerous debate at the time, but his argument was that recording a program like his allowed working parents to sit down with their children and watch shows as a family.

Despite being an ordained Presbyterian minister, and a man of tremendous faith, Mister Rogers preached tolerance first. Whenever he was asked to castigate non-Christians or gays for their differing beliefs, he would instead face them and say, with sincerity, “God loves you just the way you are.” Often this provoked ire from fundamentalists.

Once, on a fancy trip up to a PBS exec’s house, he heard the limo driver was going to wait outside for 2 hours, so he insisted the driver come in and join them (which flustered the host). On the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver’s home on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet his family. According to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life—the house supposedly lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night.

Mr. Rogers was color-blind. He couldn’t see the color blue. Of course, he was also figuratively color-blind, as you probably guessed. As were his parents who took in a black foster child when Rogers was growing up.

Michael Keaton got his start on the show as an assistant- helping puppeteer and operate the trolley.

Every one of the cardigans he wore on the show had been hand-knit by his mother.