Posters

Here are the Top 10 Greatest Movie Posters according to tccandler.com. Click here for the complete list.

Whack It

Jeremy loves the Married to the Sea comics but I must say they are rather hit-or-miss for me. I found this particular one to be a definite hit:

Well That Is Just Appalling

Old Guy Music

I'm certainly no Rolling Stones fan, but "Gimme Shelter" is a kickass tune.

Another Missed Opportunity [updated]

Spoiler Alert: You probably shouldn't read this if you haven't seen the new Indiana Jones film yet

Let's get this right out of the way. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is not good. It's not all bad, but it's not good. The only thing it really has going for it is nostalgia. The script is extremely weak sauce and there are a number of instances that are so over-the-top that I was forced to hang my head in shame. Now I'll go ahead and rant about some specifics...

• What was with that opening scene? Hot rod kids playing chicken with some military dudes in a truck that ultimately meant nothing. This is Steven friggin Spielberg, here. I expect a memorable opening.
• The atomic bomb/refrigerator scene was just stupid. It was unnecessary and way too over the top. Indy is a tough guy for sure, but he's not fucking invincible.
• The lowest point for me had to be Shia's vine-swinging-with-monkeys scene. Just completely ludicrous. I don't even want to continue talking about it, I'm so disgusted.
• Cate Blanchett's character was unrealized. They hinted that she was some sort of psychic at the beginning but then never really followed through with that. She was a chick with a sword and an accent who was kinda greedy, I guess.
• Special effects can certainly be used to enhance a film and its storytelling. This is evident in a film like, say, Transformers, which really needs big special effects to pull off the necessary visuals. The scale of giant fighting robots is simply too massive to recreate in reality. But this means we are now in an age where computer effects are an easy alternative to practical ones and this is unfortunate in the case of Crystal Skull. The intensity of scenes is lessened by the fact that we can tell it's not real danger. The best action scene in the movie was the motorcycle chase because there were no effects. It was stunt men doing real stunts in a real setting. I really think that CGI should only be used when no other alternative is available. Remember how you felt when Indy was being chased by the boulder in Raiders or when he was on that rickety rope bridge in Temple of Doom? Yeah, there's nothing like that here.
• The supporting characters weren't handled well, either. Mack was too flip-floppy in his motivations to make logical sense and John Hurt's character was pretty useless overall.
• The script sucked, to be blunt. It was convoluted at times; too talky at other times. It wasn't clever. There were a lot of references to the previous movies in there but you can't rest a film on that alone. And, as is the case with most David Koepp scripts, the movie really degrades after the second act.
• Aliens and spaceships in an Indiana Jones movie? No thank you. The supernatural stuff from the original movies was fun but this is just too much. Plus, everything was so muddled in its presentation that I simply wasn't made to care. There were 13 alien skeletons that became one whole, living alien somehow. There was a portal that went somewhere I guess. It all felt lazy and out of place in Indy's world.

So after all that ranting, here are some things I liked. It was good seeing Indiana Jones again. Harrison Ford was still able to pull the character off and it was fun seeing him kick butt again after all these years. It was also nice seeing Marion again. I liked the motorcycle chase scene through campus and (most) of the government warehouse scene. I liked hearing the music again. It wasn't as bad as the Star Wars prequels.


Think I'm off-base here? Feel free to leave a comment.

[update] just found this great article discussing many of the problems I had with Indy 4.

The Elephant In The Room

Thanks for your support, you withered old fuck.

Out In Front

The Japanese Office

This is pretty funny if you're a fan of The Office. If you're not a fan of The Office, you have my pity.

SNL Office Japanese Version
Uploaded by yutming

I Will Never Be This Ambitious

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

(Props to Greg for sharing this freaking amazing video.)

A Ron Burgundy Interview

Why Is Stephen Colbert So Awesome?

The Best & Worst Movie Moms

In honor of Mother's Day...

THE BEST

Helen Parr (aka Elastigirl)
Holly Hunter in The Incredibles

Mrs. Gump
Sally Field in Forrest Gump

Peg Boggs
Dianne Wiest in Edward Scissorhands

Sarah Connor
Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Elaine Miller
Frances McDormand in Almost Famous

Bren MacGuff
Allison Janey in Juno


THE WORST

Joan Crawford
Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest

Mama Bates
Psycho

Eleanor Iselin
Angela Lansbury in The Manchurian Candidate

Margaret White
Piper Laurie in Carrie

Beverly R. Sutphin
Kathleen Turner in Serial Mom

(from Rotten Tomatoes)

He's Got Range

They Don't Make 'Em Like This Anymore

For some reason I brought up this commercial today while Cookie was watching that silly "Little People, Big World" show on TLC. I don't remember what the connection was but I decided that I needed to find the clip and post it on the ole blog. It's basically one of my favorite commercials ever.

A Comment From Dave

"Hillary Clinton barely won my home state of Indiana. And she lost in the State of North Carolina. But here is the good news. She has a substantial lead in the state of denial... I’m no pundit but it occurred to me that Hillary Clinton has one thing in common with President Bush. Neither of them has an exit strategy."

-David Letterman

5 Cats That Look Like Wilford Brimley

(thanks to Cookie for sharing)

The Dark Side Of The Mouse

In response to my Donald Duck post, Greg shared these Mickey Mouse comic strips that are, agreeably, much darker.

FaceBook Reality

I Love The Discovery Channel

What a great promotional spot.

My Most Random Post Yet? Perhaps.

I don't know what's going on with this pic but I'm very amused by it.

What The Hell, Donald

This Post Sponsored by B. Brandow

First, a comic Bryan linked me to. My gamer pals should find this amusing. Everyone else won't really get it, but that's life.

Also Bryan pointed out this new MP3 player with a really unfortunate name. Or as Bryan put it, "best name ever." That's because he's a racist bastard.

Goulet

Liz posted this clip on her blog and I think it's only fair to share such hilarity with as many people as possible.

will ferrell extra robert goulet on conan

That's Why My Friends Call Me "Whiskers"

I have probably watched this sketch a hundred times over the years and it never gets any less hilarious. It is quite possibly the funniest thing Will Ferrell has ever done.

On The Nose

Jeremy says this is me as a father...

Acer FTW!

(You'll want to click the pic to get a better look)

Let's also hear it for the "Mizzou" kid on the left who's kicking it old school with a pen and paper.

It Must Be The Face

What I learned today from our Morning Show...

Willem Dafoe holds the record for having more on-screen deaths than any other actor.

The Kids In The Hall Are Back!

Awesome seeing the band back together. Man, the years have not been kind to Mark McKinney.

That's Apple

Wine Bottles And An RC Car

Mario Theme Played with RC Car and Bottles - Watch more free videos

This guy is far more patient than I will ever be.

What's Worse

A recent poll at WhatTheyPlay.com asked parents what sort of content they would least want their kids exposed to in video games. Two men kissing was actually deemed more objectionable than a graphic decapitation. It appears we have a long road to go yet.

I Swear This Isn't Photoshopped

Yes, that really is me at a live sporting event.

What's more, I actually had a fun time!
(Thanks to Barry and Karen for the invite and the pic)

Pour Yourself A Bowl Of Awesome

(thanks to Chris for sharing)

Thanks, Old Guy!

The 30 Dumbest Video Game Titles

1. Tongue of the Fatman
   Commodore 64, DOS, Mega Drive - 1989
2. Spanky's Quest
   Super Nintendo - 1991
3. Touch Dic
   Nintendo DS - 2005
4. If It Moves, Shoot It!
   Amiga, DOS - 1989
5. Leisure Suit Larry 3: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals
   Amiga, DOS - 1989
6. Barbie Horse Adventure
   Xbox, PS2 - 2003
7. Attack of the Mutant Camels
   Atari - 1983
8. Extreme Sports with the Berenstain Bears
   Game Boy Color - 2000
9. Ninja Hamster
   Commodore 64 - 1987
10. Frogger: Helmet Chaos
    Nintendo DS, PSP - 2005
11. Ninja Baseball Bat Man
    Arcade - 1993
12. Atari Ninja Golf
    Atari 7800 - 1990
13. Billy the Wizard: Rocket Broomstick Racing
    Wii, PC, PS2 - 2007
14. NRA Gun Club
    PS2 - 2006
15. GOLF Magazine Presents 36 Great Holes Starring Fred Couples
    Sega 32X - 1994
16. Bus Driver
    PC - 2007
17. Ship Simulator 2008
    PC - 2008
18. Big Mutha Truckers 2: Truck Me Harder
    PS2, Xbox - 2005
19. Astro Fang: Super Machine
    NES - 1990
20. Tech Romancer
    Dreamcast - 1998
21. Chemist Tycoon
    PS2, PC - 2006
22. Yes Prime Minister
    Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum - 1987
23. How To Be A Complete Bastard
    ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC - 1987
24. Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together
    SNES - 1995; PlayStation - 1997
25. Rex Nebular and the Cosmic Gender Bender
    DOS, Mac - 1992
26. Princess Tomato in Salad Kingdom
    NES - 1988
27. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
    SNES, Mega Drive - 1993
28. Ninjabread Man
    PC, PS2 - 2005; Wii - 2007
29. Keith Courage in Alpha Zones
    TurboGrafx-16 - 1989
30. 70's Robot Anime Geppy-X: The Super Boosted Armor
    PlayStation - 1999

Blogger's Note: I'm guessing Jeremy was playing "Yes Prime Minister" on his Commodore 64 around the same time Chris B. was mastering "How To Be A Complete Bastard."

(list from cnet.com)

That Thing's Operational!

Here's what a 3,500 piece Lego Death Star looks like. Click the pic to see how it was constructed.

Cruel Science

When A Nerd Loves A Woman

Nicely Played

Awareness Test

(Greg is really coming through with the links today)

5 Signs You're Watching A Wes Anderson Movie

5- Bill Murray Being Serious
If you're seeing this comic king in a movie that was made in the past ten years it's probably a Wes Anderson movie. Of the last fifteen film projects Murray has done four have been with Anderson. It was his role in "Rushmore" that made him an indie-film darling with such directors as Jim Jarmusch and Sofia Coppola. Murray has a strong commitment to Anderson, backing up the director by pulling out of his own pocket to help shoot a scene and also working for free in "The Royal Tenenbaums". Their film relationship has produced some interesting film experiences as well as a partnership of respect and comradeship.

4- Slow Motion Endings
In all but one of his films, Anderson has ended with the slow motion shot. We saw Dignan leaving for prison in "Bottle Rocket", Max's Dance with Miss Cross in "Rushmore", Royal Tenenbaums's funeral, and Steve Zissou walk the red carpet all in slow motion into the end credits. It's a signature style that Anderson has replicated in most of his films. Also notice the credits, first name in lower and uppercase but the last name is always uppercase. The only movie that broke the slow motion ending tradition? "The Darjeeling Limited," which began with a slow motion shot of Peter Whitman barely making the namesake train.

3- Mise en Scene
It's all about the details. If you're watching a movie and you feel slightly distorted by a wide angle shots and balanced symmetry of props, then you're in Anderson heaven. Each frame of an Anderson film is packed with props, and a balanced symmetry of the frame, causing slight distortion. This effect can feel almost dream-like, creating a vision that blurs reality with enhanced color palettes as well as elaborate production design. Several of his films use actual sets such as Steve Zissou's boat to contribute an elaborate environment to the story. When there is way too much stuff on the walls in 2.35: 1 aspect ratio you're probably watching a Wes Anderson production.

2- Deteriorating Family
Every Anderson film has a family struggling throughout the narrative. Bob's abuse from his brother Futureman, Mr. Blume's redheaded asshole children, The Tenenbaums, Steve Zissou connecting with his son, and the brothers on board the Darjeeling Limited. Anderson has often stated that J. D. Salinger has been an influence on his writing style balancing the comedy with tragedy at a moment's notice. But Anderson's reflection of families is used as a springboard to address issues such as grief, failure, and regret that have a universal appeal.

1- A Soundtrack You Never Could Have Created
If there's one thing for certain, it's that Anderson can create an amazing soundtrack. His use of sound over the image especially using rock musical compositions has been a trademark since his first film. From the British invasion rock songs of "Rushmore" to the Portuguese David Bowie covers of "Steve Zissou" Anderson's soundtracks have been stellar. With collaboration with Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh for original compositions, Anderson's films are ripe with stand out musical tracks. I bet the mix tapes he makes for his friends are the shit.

(from omglists) (also thanks to Greg for the link)

The Spontaneous Picnic Dress

Riding Solo

I dedicate this post to Barry based on today's lunch conversation.

He's Back?

Any Zombie Jesus sightings today? And if so, any idea if he saw his shadow?

update: Tony has informed me that old people are offended by the idea of Zombie Jesus. In case there are any old people who visit my blog I must say, "Who let you on the Internet?"

My Most Offensive Post Yet

I'm not sure what it says about me but I was cracking up through this entire thing. It's sorta like a really raunchy "Kids in the Hall" bit mixed with a healthy dose of "Coffee Talk". Be forwarned if you are the sensitive type, this does contain very explicit language.

(thanks to Jeremy for the link)

Unholy Citrus

(Thanks to Bryan for sharing)

Movies Can Make Your Life Go Better

(Props to Jeremy for the link)

The Greatest Thing I've Seen Since The Sledding Incident

(this post dedicated to Greg)

Exciting New Feature!

I've added a polling section to the side of the page. Exciting indeed! Expect a new poll twice a week. They won't be anything brilliant or profound, but if you frequent this site you already know that. I keeps my blog how I keeps my women: quick, dirty, and random.

Best Thing I've Seen All Week

What could possibly happen to this Canadian news reporter doing a broadcast from the bottom of a sledding hill?

Reporter Owned By Sled - Watch more free videos

And he still follows through with the sign-off! Canadians may not be the brightest bulbs in the chandelier, but they are resilient.

And We Have What To Show For This, Exactly?

If you're looking for something to get fired up about on your Tuesday, try this on for size:

In its sixth year, the Iraq war is costing the US about $12 billion a month.

(from Yahoo News)

Emo Bath

Now That's Hot

Food Fight

Confession Of A Former Guitar Hero Advocate

You know that line, "Anything you can do, I can do better"? That should be Rock Band's motto because it is absolutely the one true king of peripheral-based musical rhythm games. My allegiances to Guitar Hero have been severed. I have seen the light.

GameDaily's Top 10 Greatest Gaming Consoles

10) Nintendo Gamecube
09) Sega Genesis
08) Nintendo 64
07) Nintendo Entertainment System
06) Sony PlayStation
05) Super Nintendo Entertainment System
04) Nintendo DS
03) Sony PlayStation 2
02) Sega Dreamcast
01) Microsoft Xbox 360

Blogger's Note: No arguments here!

(info from gamedaily.com)

6 Terrible Cameos That Just About Ruined The Movie

6) Ted Danson in Saving Private Ryan
5) Christopher Lloyd in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
4) M. Night Shyamalan in Signs
3) Matt Damon in Finding Forrester
2) Scott Baio, Red Buttons, Sammy Davis, Jr., Sherman Hemsley, Telly Savalas, Ringo Starr, Ernest Borgnine, Beau Bridges, Lloyd Bridges, Patrick Duffy, Merv Griffin, Karl Malden, Pat Morita, John Stamos, Sally Struthers, Jonathan Winters and many many more in Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass
1) Bruce Willis in Ocean's 12

(from cracked.com)

Available Nights & Weekends

Someone put together a highly scientific test to determine what a person's worth would be as a personal escort. I'm quite pleased with my results and will be turning in my two-weeks notice immediately. To think that I've been doing it for free all this time! If you would like to find out your own value in the sack, simply click on the image.


Powered By TheirToys

More Garfield Minus Garfield

Aged To Perfection

At long last, a huge injustice in the world of old television show libraries made available for consumer purchase has been corrected. Warner Bros. has finally began releasing Perfect Strangers on DVD. I credit this show for helping to shape me into the hilarious human being I am today and it's about damn time it became immortalized in a handy disc form. If you haven't heard already, Perfect Strangers Seasons 1 & 2 are now available for purchase in one attractive package. What's even better is the measly asking price for these 28 episodes is only $24.99! (I was able to score a set for $19.99 at my local Bullmoose Music store. Truth be told, I would have easily paid eight or ten times that price.)

Now you may be thinking to yourself, "Sure, Perfect Strangers was hilarious and fresh when I was a kid but what about now? Could it possibly hold up?" Well I am here to tell you, "Of course it does, don't be ridiculous!" The show has aged extremely well. The interaction between characters is as enjoyable as ever and the jokes still hold up some 20 years later. There was some genuine comedic talent involved in this show and I'm discovering a lot of things about now it that I didn't fully appreciate when I was younger.

But enough rambling; run out and buy it already! We need to band together to ensure they keep releasing future seasons of one of the best sitcoms the 80s had to offer!

Frackin' Sweet

Just because I'm really feeling the Battlestar fever right now...

(You'll definitely want to click on this for a larger view)

He Does Impressions Too

Yes, I realize it's another Matt Damon post but dammit, the guy just keeps being fantastic.