Computer Predictions From The Past

(from pannikos.com)

Before many of us were born, the thought of owning a personal computer was inconceivable. With time, as computers were made more compact thanks to evolving technologies, this inconceivable thought became reality.We will now take a look back on these not so distant times and read what people had to say about the future of computers and see how wrong they were about their predicitions.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943

"While a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 10000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers of the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1.5 tons."
Popular mechanics, 1949

"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

'But what... is it good for?"
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems division of IBM, commenting on the microchip, 1968

"There is no reason why anyone would want a computer in the home."
Ken Olson, Present, Chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977

"640K should be enough for anybody."
Bill Gates, 1981

Walk The Line Review

HIGHS

• I've always had something of a fascination with Johnny Cash but I've never known a great deal about his life. This film helped to quench my curiousity.
• Fantastic performances by Joaquin Phoenix as Cash and Reese Witherspoon as June Carter. Especially Pheonix; he goes far beyond simple mimicry and succeeds in a completely believable transformation into "The Man in Black."
• Great interweaving of story and music done by T-Bone Burnett (O Brother, Where Art Thou?). Both fans of Cash and newcomers alike should be pleased with the selections.
• If Jamie Foxx was deserving of an Oscar for Ray, then Joaquin Phoenix deserves two for Walk the Line. Unlike Foxx, he actually performed all of the music numbers in the film and learned to play the guitar from scratch.
• For people who aren't familiar with Johnny Cash's legacy, this film could entice them to seek out his prodigious body of work. I know it certainly prompted me to look up some choice tunes I hadn't listened to in awhile.
• Will make you forget all about that terrible, terrible The Village. If you hadn't already. If you had I'm sorry to bring it back up again.

LOWS

• The film could have done a better job with pacing, but when you're making a biopic there's only so many liberties that can be taken while still keeping true to actual events. You can't just start re-writing the man's history.
• I would have liked to have seen more attention paid to the effects Cash's music had on a nation-wide audience. We really don't get a good sense of just how popular his songs were becoming with people who didn't reside in penitentiaries.
• My friend Chris tells me that Johnny Cash actually hand-picked Joaquin Phoenix to play him in Walk the Line. It's a shame he couldn't see the finished product before he passed away.
• It's almost creepy at times how much Phoenix looks and sounds like Cash at various points throughout the film. I guess that's not so much a "low" as it is a "holy cow, that's almost creepy."

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random related fact: Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix both went through six months of vocal training with music producer T-Bone Burnett.

Why Can't I Own A Canadian?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Gaudy Or Festive: Round 3

Let the voting begin!

Hey JC, Take A Hike

We all get so wrapped up in the holidays this time of year; here are some random day-long celebrations that are happening from now through the end of December that can serve as simple little diversions and have nothing to do with Jesus, dreidels or anything else along those lines.

December 5 is... Bathtub Party Day
December 6 is... National Gazpacho Day
December 7 is... Letter Writing Day
December 8 is... National Brownie Day
December 9 is... International Shareware Day
December 10 is... Human Rights Day
December 11 is... National Noodle Ring Day (some of these are open to interpretation)
December 12 is... Gingerbread House Day
December 13 is... Violins Day
December 14 is... National Bouillabaisse Day
December 15 is... Day of the Underdog
December 16 is... National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
December 17 is... National Maple Syrup Day
December 18 is... Bake Cookies Day
December 19 is... Oatmeal Muffin Day
December 20 is... Sacagawea Day
December 21 is... Look at the Bright Side Day
December 22 is... Abilities Day
December 23 is... Roots Day
December 24 is... National Dairy Beverage Day
December 25 is... National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is... National Whiners Day
December 27 is... Make Cut-Out Snowflakes Day
December 28 is... Card Playing Day
December 29 is... No Interruptions Day (this one's a challenge)
December 30 is... Festival of Putting Things Off to the Last Minute
December 31 is... Make Up Your Mind Day

Scene Caps II

In case you don't remember the rules:

There are five scenes below from various films. The first person to identify all five correctly is the winner. The answers will be given once people have had a sufficient amount of time to post their guesses. Begin!

Can I Still Call Someone An Indian-Giver?

Here is a recent listing of politically correct words and phrases to come about this year according to the Global Language Monitor. Please make a note of it.

• "thought shower" replaces "brainstorming" so as not to offend people with brain disorders
• "deferred success" replaces "failure" so as not to embarrass those who don't succeed
• "misguided criminal" replaces "terrorist", at least according to the British Broadcasting Corporation
• "intrinsic aptitude" is a phrase introduced by Harvard University President Lawrence Summers to explain why women might be underrepresented in engineering and science. It turns out that this phrase was met with a significant amount of "deferred success" and Summers found himself fighting to keep his job.
• "out of the mainstream" is used to describe the ideology of any political opponent
• "womyn" is to be used in place of "women" in order to distance the word from men
• C.E. (Common Era) should be used instead of A.D. (Latin for "Year Of Our Lord") so as to be more neutral in dates
• And finally, in the spirit of the season, the phrase "God Rest Ye Merry Persons" replaces "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and "Seasons Greetings" officially replaces "Merry Christmas"

Blogger's Note: Hey, what's the politically correct phrase for "eat me?" I mean c'mon, I'm a liberal guy but I think that whole "womyn" business is just asinine. Are there no bigger problems in the world that need fixing?

The Best Paper Airplane In The World

Some college kids from the UK came up with a paper airplane design they are calling "The Best Paper Airplane in the World." You can find the instructions here.

Gaudy Or Festive: Round 2

Thanks to all who participated in Round 1. Here's your next exhibit...

Put A Pinch Of Sage In Your Boots And All Day Long A Spicy Scent Is Your Reward

A kindly fellow with a cookie duster moustache at AC Moore gave us a very useful tip tonight: When hanging something with a suction cup, use a drop of vegetable oil instead of saliva because the oil won't evaporate over time.

Gaudy Or Festive: Round 1

From now until Christmas I'll be posting pictures of various Christmas lighting displays. Your job is simply to state whether you think they are festive or gaudy.

So in the spirit of the season, cast your votes!

A Question For The Ladies

It's common knowledge that I don't put much effort into understanding women but I'm curious, is it customary for two ladies to discuss their periods while standing in line at a grocery store checkout?

A Handy Guide To Expiration Dates

• Beer is good for 4 months if unopened.
• Brown sugar has an indefinite shelflife as long as it's stored in a cool, dry place.
• Coffee: up to 2 years unopened; 1 month opened and refrigerated.
• Dried Pasta: 1 year.
• Frozen dinners are good for 12-18 months if unopened.
• Ketchup: 6 months after the bottle is opened.
• Maple syrup: 1 year.
• Mayonnaise: 3 months after opening.
• Salad dressing will last for 9 months if refrigerated.
• Mustard is good for 2 years even when opened.
• Peanut Butter: 2 years unopened, 6 months opened.
• Tea bags are good for 2 years.
• And finally, if it ever comes up in Trivial Pursuit, honey is the only food that never expires.

(info from Real Simple magazine)

Some People Just Take Longer To Catch On

I came across this great quote today by Robert Scheer of the Huffington Post:

"The lessons of Tuesday’s election both in the bellwether state of California and across the nation is that Lincoln was right: the American people will not forever be fooled. The negative message of the Republican right, even when fronted by a smirking action hero, has lost its power to terrorize voters."

I Love The Smell Of Justness In The Morning

In the immortal words of Darrell Hammond doing Sean Connery: "Suck it long and suck it hard." That is my message this morning to those hateful Christian Civic League bastards who tried so hard with their deceit and their misconstruing facts to turn Mainers away from what their collective consciences told them was the right thing to do. Finally, after almost 30 years, we are the last New England state to have anti-discrimination laws for gay folks like myself in the books. It's about goddam time. Why something that seems to most logical people to be a no-brainer has been so difficult to pass is beyond me. I suppose fear of change has a lot to do with it. Let's remember that we used to burn "witches" in town squares not so long ago...progress is important. So as I head off to work this morning with the knowledge that I can only be fired based on my own inadequacies like everyone else, I say thank you to everyone who helped us get to this point. The "No on 1" volunteers all deserve fabulous medals and the people who turned out at the polls yesterday to support us are pretty darn fabulous themselves. And to those who tried and failed to keep people such as myself as their inferiors, I say, "Go fuck yourselfs."

Guilt Flicks

Let's keep the interactive posts rolling. List 5 of your "guilty pleasure" movies. (films you probably shouldn't enjoy watching but you just can't help yourself.)

Mine are:
-The Rock
-Lake Placid
-The Cable Guy
-Starship Troopers
-Life as a House

Scene Caps I

I haven't done anything interactive for awhile so let's try this:

There are five scenes below from various films. The first person to identify all five correctly is the winner. The answers will be given once people have had a sufficient amount of time to post their guesses. Begin!

Torrey's Irrefutable Truths For The Week Of 11/06 (Pop Culture Edition)

The Simpsons Should Have Ended Years Ago
Have you watched an episode of The Simpsons lately? There's barely a chuckle to be made in the span of an episode. It's really quite sad to see how far the show has sunk. The days of Marge Vs. The Monorail and The PTA Disbands are long gone. These days we get entire episodes based on American Idol or Marge getting a boob job. The show started on its decline sometime after season 10 and has been snowballing into a humorless abyss ever since. It's a shame to see something that was once the yardstick for comedic satire become the annoying uncle at Thanksgiving. Just hang it up, folks. You're past the point of going out on top, but you can at least perform a mercy killing.

November Is The Ideal Month For Viewing The Nightmare Before Christmas
Because it falls between Halloween and Christmas, of course. Hey, I never said these things were always insightful truths.

Batman Has The Best Villians
Let's rattle off a few, shall we? The Joker, Mr. Freeze, The Penguin, Two-Face, The Riddler, Bane, Scarecrow...all great villains. Even the ladies are well represented in Gotham with the likes of Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Spider-man does a respectable job with folks like Green Goblin, Doc Ock and Venom, but ulimately can't compete with Batman's fiendish band. I won't even go into Superman's tide-pool of villiany. Besides Lex Luthor, who can even think of another villian from Metropolis? I guess there's some dude named Doomsday, but who really cares? I mean honestly. Supes is too busy feeling sorry for himself and keeping track of 27 different types of kryptonite.

Episodes I-III Suck
The true fans of Star Wars know that lightsabers and wookies alone do not a great film make. End of story.

Vote Smart

Just a friendly reminder to my fellow Mainers that election day is this coming Tuesday, Nov. 8th. I'm providing a link to the seven ballot questions so you can give yourself a little education before heading to the polls if you haven't already. An uninformed voter is more dangerous than the person who doesn't vote at all- remember that. Look no further than our current administration for concrete evidence of this. Also, if there's something or someone on the ballot you know nothing about, it's okay to leave that section blank. If only two of the seven questions are of importance to you, then by all means vote on those two and leave the others alone. Remember how on the SATs you'd get points taken away if you answered incorrectly but would stay the same if you left a question blank? It's kinda like that. All I'm saying is, vote smart. Ignorance has too high a price.

Denial Trumps The Force

Cookie asked that I share this conversation we had earlier regarding the Star Wars prequels...

deviledHam79: I decided today that not only am I not going to buy Ep III, but I'm going to get rid of my other prequels. I only have them for the surround sound really. It's my act of defiance
jugglinggeese: lol
deviledHam79: I don't really need 6 hours of missed potential, mis-direction and piss-poor acting
jugglinggeese: lol
jugglinggeese: right
deviledHam79: like I made the statement today at work...say there had never been star wars before 1999. If these last 3 films had come out fresh with no fan base or anything, starting out like, well like Serenity did, they would have been torn to shreds and a laughing stock of the sci-fi universe
jugglinggeese: they so would be
deviledHam79: but all these fucking basement nerds and larp fuckers want so badly to see more light sabers and darth vader that they are willing to overlook this incredible mound of shit that has been served to them on a shiny plate
jugglinggeese: lol
deviledHam79: and look at the box office of
deviledHam79: episode III vs. serenity
deviledHam79: makes me sick
deviledHam79: fuck you george lucas
deviledHam79: I hope you can tap into IM messages
jugglinggeese: hahah
jugglinggeese: ahahah
jugglinggeese: he probably can
jugglinggeese: i think he just wet his pants
deviledHam79: and you read this you bearded freak
deviledHam79: I want to fight him
deviledHam79: bad
deviledHam79: like a street fight
deviledHam79: inside a circle of cars with their headlights on
jugglinggeese: lol
deviledHam79: with chains and boards and whatnot
jugglinggeese: for killing what you loved as a kid
deviledHam79: exactly!
deviledHam79: he pissed all over my childhood
jugglinggeese: lol
jugglinggeese: that is big
deviledHam79: I honestly wish those prequels had never been made
deviledHam79: what I imagined to have happened was much better than what he showed us
deviledHam79: fucking trade route disputes
deviledHam79: trade route disputes????
deviledHam79: c'mon!
deviledHam79: the man who created darth fucking vader, the most iconic villian in all of movie history, decides to make his triumphant return after 20 years with a story built around a blockade of dry goods and space parts???
deviledHam79: and let's make it even more intriguing, let's involve a galactic senate!
deviledHam79: ooooooooooooooooo
jugglinggeese: hahaha
deviledHam79: and by all means, when you're going to spend half the movie on Tatooine, leave Obi-Wan on the ship and bring along Jar Jar.
jugglinggeese: hahaha
jugglinggeese: any why not waste all of the expensive talent you hired
deviledHam79: no shit
deviledHam79: liam neeson was in schindler's list! ewan mcgregor likes to show his penis! natalie portman became a professional hit...person in that professional movie! hayden christensen showed us all that life truly is a house! why not play up these strengths?
jugglinggeese: samuel. you forgot him.
deviledHam79: well, sam jackson is in every third movie that is released. but I guess that could be a strength! stamina and the ability to sign on for any project!
jugglinggeese: hahahaha
jugglinggeese: but he can act though. sometimes
deviledHam79: indeed. in the right role Sam can hold his own for sure
deviledHam79: course in Ep III he just came across as a puss
jugglinggeese: no joke
deviledHam79: what's happening? what, wait a minute...are you...are you EVIL? wait, don't do that! oh my, I will not fight you, jedi are above that! we can talk about this rationally...aw crap I'm dead. and you'll have to pay for that broken window. republic credits will do.
jugglinggeese: hahahah