How Low Can He Go

(you'll want to click on the image for closer inspection)

Cinema Virtuoso

Oh Michel Gondry, je t'aime. You are truly a cinematic God among men.

Check out the trailer for his newest picture, Be Kind Rewind. It's gonna be gold I tells ya, gold!!

All Reasons Why I'm Destined To Be "The Fun Uncle"

10 Good Reasons You May Not Want To Have Kids

1) They are Noisy
I am not saying that all of them are, I wasn’t, but the fact is that most of them will be constantly mouthing off about something. They have questions coming out the ass every day, day after day. No single thing is too small to be worthy of comment, no problem too insignificant to whine about, and then there’s the nagging. They nag. You give in once and after that they never let up.

2) Social Responsibility
You are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time according to law, so you have a commitment to always providing people for them to be with, and sometimes to be with them yourself. You have to watch them in stores, keep them in sight wherever you are, and you absolutely cannot be mean to them in public for fear of winding up before a judge. How your child behaves will reflect directly upon you and your character. They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics.

3) They Are an Economic Drain
Food, clothes, school-supplies, tuition, school-projects, toys, fast-food, prescriptions, not to mention having to pay for a large enough living space for two adults plus however many of them those two adults choose to have. If you rent, then there is always the potential of them destroying/something that you will have to pay for.

4) You Have to Teach them Things
You may or may not have figured this out: They are born knowing nothing. A blank slate. This means that you have years, possibly decades before they have anything insightful or interesting to say. But still, you will be a bad parent if you don’t listen to them. You are obligated to listen to all kinds of nonsensical irrelevant crap, all kinds of worthless interests and recaps of the Hannah Montana marathon they had on TV last weekend. You are obligated to tell them about life, sex, how to spend money, hygiene, calculus etc.

5) The TV Shows and Books you will have to Endure
A big part of knowing nothing is poor taste. Taste is a product of experience and therefore there will be a considerable length of time before they like things that make sense. You are obligated to read stories to them unless you want them whining about it when they grow up, you are also obligated to surrender at least one of the TVs in your house to the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for several hours each day.

6) Their Friends
If your kids are normal they will at some point make friends, which means that you will not only have their presence to endure, but an assortment of other people’s failures as well. They will, perhaps, invite them home, at which point you may have to feed these other children, and endure their noise.

7) Constant Illness
Kids, especially when small, are walking petri-dishes. Nothing guarantees repeated stomach-flus, colds, and assorted random illnesses like being in the presence of a small child for hours at a time. Have a co-worker who is always sniffling or running to the bathroom? They either have a cocaine problem or they have a small child.

8) They Attract the Ill-Will of Strangers
Nothing in the world will get you more dirty looks than a poorly trained child. For some reason whole segments of the American population either have not yet had children, or will never have children, these people will not be sympathetic to your plight. Children to them are mere annoying strangers being inflicted upon them by you.

9) Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them
Under normal circumstances anyway. You don’t get to give them back, you don’t get to pass them on to somebody else short of going to prison or dying. If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.

10) They are Ungrateful
Kids in America grow up with a sense of being entitled to good parenting, as if it were something they earned in a previous life and have now come to collect. No parent, however is good enough, and they usually cannot find it in themselves to see how much worse it could be. They feel entitled to your time, the contents of your wallet and the remote control. And what do they give back? Maybe you will get to see your grandkids every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, they will pick a good nursing home for you when you are too old to take care for yourself.

(from Dirty Writer)

After Legend

I came across this photo today that I'm guessing is a promo shot from The Lord of Darkness' short-lived and seldom talked about stint with "Up With People."

Hope Is All We Have

From an interview with Joss Whedon at this year's Comic Con...

So after all is said and done, was Serenity profitable? Do you consider it a success?

Joss Whedon (JW): It’s a success to the studio or else we wouldn’t be doing a special edition DVD. They actually admitted as much on paper, which you know studios are loathe to do, and that was actually from the theatrical. Theatrical was a disappointment, as everyone knows, but it did go into the black. Then the DVD came and they took me aside and said “We can’t keep these things on the shelf. We want to do a special edition.” And I didn’t want to hear that because I knew it would have to be a truly special edition to make me happy. There had to be a real reason, some real goodies.

So what will the special edition have for us?

JW: We took some stuff from the region two version; the making of – a really beautiful one that’s a bit longer. It has the first read through for the movie with the cast, two years after the show ended. And it has the River Tam sessions, the stuff I did on the internet with Summer. We got to do another commentary too, Nathan, Summer, Ron and Adam – I made sure it didn’t go the same direction as the first commentary. It feels like this version will be something more for the people who would tend to buy both.

So give me hope for a Serenity II

JW: Hope for it probably rests with this DVD.

So then you’re saying we’ve got a chance?

JW: Well it’s probably not being discussed in boardrooms right now, but the fact of the matter is if it makes enough money sooner or later they say “hey, this is money!” Also there are paradigms that are much cheaper, it doesn’t have to be enormous.

Hitler For The Holidays

This Thing Would Make MacGyver Cream In His Pants

Get a load of this! The Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife is packed with 85 fully functional implements including seven blades, three types of pliers, countless screwdrivers, saws, wrenches, a battery operated torch, a laser pointer with a 300ft range, the thingy that repairs golf divots, a magnifier for mineral crystals, tire-tread gauge, signal whistle and a cigar-cutter. And that's just scratching the surface! Inspector Gadget ain't got nothin' on this baby!

One Of These Polls Was Inspired By Barry Dodd

Final Results (8/12/07):

Would you rather be more creative or smarter?

More creative - 70%
Smarter - 30%


Which major television network would you consider to be your favorite?

ABC - 20%
CBS - 0%
FOX - 30%
NBC - 50%
The CW - 0%


With both men in their prime, who would win in a fist-fight?

Elvis Presley - 0%
Johnny Cash - 100%


When playing checkers, which color do you prefer?

Black - 67%
Red - 33%

Thanks to all who participated!

Geek Quotes FTW

The Board of Wisdom's Top 10 Best Geek Quotes:

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
3. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
4. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
5. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
6. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
7. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
8. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
9. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
10. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

She Had It Coming

Oh, Inverted World

Some folks calling themselves VladStudio created this really cool vision of a "Reversed Earth," showing what the World might look like if land and water were flipped.

(You'll want to click on the image for a detailed view)

Musings Of A Hardcore Legend

In Mick Foley's latest book, he sums up the difference between a conservative and a liberal with a story involving a late-night road trip and two ill-fated raccoons. I found it to be rather insightful.

I have read articles ranging from speculative to scientific on the physical, genetic, or psychological differences between conservatives and liberals, which basically deal with whether political sensibilities are a learned or instilled behavior, or a combination of both. For me, it all comes down to my traumatic raccoon experience. A couple of years ago, I was heading out onto the highway, about half an hour into a four-hundred-mile trip. I've always loved the peace and solitude of the open road, especially when accompanied by some good tunes or a few promos to cut in my head during the course of a late-night sojourn. As a matter of fact, it's probably the thing I miss most about life on the road.

I was really looking forward to this particular drive when a raccoon suddenly darted out into the middle of the highway. I swerved to avoid the little masked bandit, but in doing so, hit a second raccoon whose presence had, until that last split second, been unknown to me. It was a direct hit, a sickening thud that left no doubt as to its victim's fate - roadkill for sure. I turned to my right to see the first raccoon scamper off into the safety of the roadside brush. And in that one moment, my entire trip was ruined. No number of quality tunes could assuage the sadness I felt. Not so much for the dead raccoon, for his demise had been quick, relatively painless, and honorable - after all, it had been the hardcore legend who got him. No, my sorrow was reserved for the surviving raccoon, who would be left to wander aimlessly, ransacking suburban garbage cans without the special friend my Chevy Impala had made such an impression on.

Look, there's no way to rationalize this type of reaction. You're either going to care about the sadness of a surviving raccoon or you're not. You're either going to hit that thing, pop in a CD, and continue your drive unaffected, of you're going to do four hundred miles behind the wheel with a heavy heart.

So if that makes me a bleeding heart, I guess I'll wear that badge with pride.

Walk It Off

I'm not trying to offend anyone here, but I really disagree with allowing fat people to park in handicap spaces. If anything, they should have to park farther away because the walk would do them good.

It's A Buyer's Market For Haunted Lighthouses

FAIRFIELD, Conn. - For sale: $1 property surrounded by Long Island Sound off the coast of Fairfield. Must be able to cope with possible haunting.

The U.S. General Services Administration is seeking a buyer for the Penfield Lighthouse, built in 1874 about 1.1 miles from Fairfield Beach. It is said to be the site of strange occurrences following the drowning of lighthouse keeper Frederick Jordan in 1916.

The agency is offering the lighthouse for $1 in “as is” condition to local, state or federal government agencies or nonprofit organizations. Those interested will have to submit an application identifying their proposed uses of the lighthouse, besides that of a navigational beacon, and how they will pay for that use and maintenance.

Fairfield First Selectman Kenneth Flatto said the town is very interested in acquiring the property, which is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

The 51-foot-tall lighthouse sits on a concrete foundation surrounded by rocks. It is attached to a two-story keeper’s residence.

According to legend, Jordan drowned in December 1916 when his boat capsized near the lighthouse and appeared as a ghost two weeks later to his assistant, Rudolph Iten, the Connecticut Post reported yesterday.

Iten took over for Jordan after his death. In his log, Iten wrote that Jordan’s apparition glided down the tower’s stairs and disappeared into darkness. Iten then found the keeper’s log opened to the page that documented Jordan’s death, the Post reported.

(from bostonherald.com)

Color Me Surprised

So I watched The Devil Wears Prada on HBO today and I actually really enjoyed it. I couldn't care less about the world of fashion, but this worked for me. Go figure.

The Absolute Worst

I just have to say that I have found no greater source of frustration in life than in dealing with the people of Time Warner Cable. I loathe that company with every fiber of my being.

My 2nd Emo Post

I saw this on a t-shirt today and it made me laugh.

College Professors, Take Note

Ron Hammond, Phd, professor at Utah Valley State College, has quit using textbooks in his classes. Why? They're too expensive.

The cost of textbooks is rising faster than inflation and Hammond doesn't feel right forcing his students to purchase ever more expensive books on top of their already expensive tuition and fees.

"I think it's immoral because of the cost of it," Hammond told the Central Utah Daily Herald.

Instead of textbooks, Hammond has been assigning journal articles and other reading materials that his students can check out from the library or download from the internet, a practice which, if every one of their professors did it, would save students (on average) $900 a year.

It took Hammond a year to rewrite his own curriculum, after throwing out all his old textbooks. "It was worth it in the long run," Hammond said.

(from The Consumerist)

Number 15 Should Be Higher On The List

Here are the Top 25 Greatest Simpsons Quotes according to Blogzarro.com:

1. Homer: D’oh.
2. Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
3. Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
4. Sideshow Bob: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
5. Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
6. Comic Book Guy: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…
7. Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
8. Ned Flanders: I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!
9. Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.
10. Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
11. Sideshow Bob: I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
12. Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
13. Nelson: Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!
14. Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
15. Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
16. Comic Book Guy: Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
17. Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
18. Homer: Save me, Jeebus.
19. Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.
20. Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
21. Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
22. Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?
23. Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
24. Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
25. Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Bush Vs. PBS

The House on Wednesday evening overwhelmingly rejected President Bush's plan to eliminate the $420 million federal subsidy for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

The 357-72 vote demonstrated the enduring political strength of public broadcasting. The outcome was never in doubt, unlike a fight two years ago when Republicans tried but failed to slash public broadcasting subsidies.

The move to kill subsidies for the CPB, which make up about 15 percent of its budget, was launched by Rep. Doug Lamborn, R-Colorado.

"Taxpayers are being asked to pay more in taxes because Congress is not willing to make hard choices and balance our spending with our income," Lamborn said.
Congress created the corporation in 1967 to shield public broadcasting from political influence. The CPB distributes federal subsidies to PBS, National Public Radio and hundreds of public radio and television stations.

"It is providing a voice for America, a noncommercial, independent voice that is sadly lacking. It isn't available any place else in the million channels on our cable networks," said Rep. Earl Blumenauer, D-Oregon.

(from cnn.com)

Blogger's Note: It's nice to see some measure of sanity coming out of Washington.