Friday, September 30, 2005

Serenity Review

Highs
  • The crew of Serenity makes a flawless transition from television to film. In retrospect, Joss Whedon's vision may have been a little too wide in scope for TV. In my opinion, the premise works better on a grander stage.
  • Fans of Firefly will reap the most rewards, but thanks to some great writing and savvy execution there's plenty here for newcomers as well.
  • Nathan Fillion may well be on his way to becoming the next Harrison Ford.
  • There is more intensity and excitement in this one film than all three of George Lucas' Star Wars prequels combined. And that's a statement I won't back down from.

Lows
  • The only real low that could come from this is if people don't go see the film because they didn't watch the show or think it's just for geeks. Those people would be missing out on the beginning of the next great sci-fi adventure franchise.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother


Random related fact: Serenity is yet another film to be helped along by impressive DVD sales. The Firefly box set is among the top-selling television shows available on DVD. This serves as further evidence that both sides usually win when studios listen to the fans.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Corpse Bride Review

Highs
  • Tim Burton's animation team has improved greatly since The Nightmare Before Christmas. The work is so polished that it could easily be mistaken for computer generated work.
  • Corpse Bride is more story driven and less musical than Nightmare. They clearly weren't trying to replicate their previous work and for that I'm thankful. Nightmare is a magical holiday classic that rests on its own pedestal.
  • It's very refreshing to see stop animation still being put to good use. It is an artform worthy of much more exposure than it gets. CG might be the "in" thing nowadays, but there's no replacement for the feeling that something is real and tangible.
  • In true Burton fashion, the film is a tremendous visual treat. The character models are fantastic, particularly the Corpse Bride herself. I'm sure they'll be able to fill a second DVD with material on the making of this film.
  • Timmy continues his tradition of showing us that death doesn't have to be all bad.

Lows
  • The marketing for Corpse Bride makes it seem more kid-friendly than it actually is. It's not that the material is inappropriate, it's just that much of the subject matter would go over the head of most youngsters under the age of 13 or so.
  • Since stop animation films take several years to create, it'll be awhile before we see another feature from Burton & Co.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother


Random related fact: Corpse Bride was shot using no actual film cameras. The entire film was made using digital stills captured by Canon SLR cameras and Nikon lenses, the same type of digital photography equipment available in many retail electronics stores. The stills were then combined and edited using Apple's Final Cut Pro.

That's Catchy

What song was going through my head for most of today? That would be Electric Blue by Icehouse.

What song was stuck on you today?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Torrey's Irrefutable Truths For The Week Of 9/25

America Loves Luis Guzman In A Supporting Role
We all know this to be true- look no further than Boogie Nights, Carlito's Way, Magnolia, Traffic and Crocodile Dundee II. The one time Luis took on a starring role in his own sitcom, Luis, it was the first show to be cancelled from the 2003 Fall season. A hard lesson to learn, but a necessary one.

Store Brand Cereals Are Inferior To Name Brand Cereals
My sixth grade teacher once told me that store brand and name brand cereals come from the same factories, they're just put in different boxes. He was clearly full of shit. Apple Dapples can't hold a candle to Apple Jacks. And Confruity Crips instead of Fruity Pebbles? Not a chance. I'll pay the extra 40 cents and eat something that's delicious.

Lost Saved Television
I'm not saying Lost single-handedly resurrected the art of dramatic television writing, but it certainly played a vital role in bringing creative programming back to the surface after being held down for so many years by ridiculous 'reality' nonsense. Lost reminds us that television viewing can actually be an event that people discuss and look forward to and that TV shows do not always have to play a distant second fiddle to film. Whether you follow the show or not, we all benefit from the ripple effects. Look no further than this year's Fall schedules for an indication of that.

Stephen Colbert Makes Anything Funny
From his years of consistently brilliant work on The Daily Show to his hilarious porformance as Chuck Noblet on Strangers with Candy, Stephen Colbert proves time after time that he is among the funniest people in entertainment today. It was recently announced that he'll be getting his own show entitled The Colbert Report that will air on Comedy Central following The Daily. Here is Stephen's synopsis of the show:
(from The New Yorker) If The Daily Show is faux evening news, The Colbert Report will be faux Bill O'Reilly. "The focus will be me, lots of me," Colbert said. "Occationally, we'll turn the camera elsewhere, but only for pacing." And what sort of presence will Stephen Colbert have? "My ambition is to have Stone Phillips' neck and Geraldo Rivera's sense of mission."

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Astonishing Facts From Around The Globe #9

  • The average U.S. farm has 467 acres. The average farm in Japan has three acres.
  • Oak trees are struck by lightning more often than any other tree.
  • Sweden made beastiality legal in 1944.
  • Barnum's Animal crackers consist of 18 different animal types.
  • Since its founding, Apple Computer has received hundreds of angry letters claiming that its logo, an apple with a bite taken out, represents original sin.
  • The average alarm clock's snooze function lasts nine minutes.
  • Hamsters can have sex 75 times a day.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Transporter 2 Review

Highs
  • Trans 2 doesn't take itself too seriously and it shouldn't. That's one thing you could accuse the first film of. Also, the pacing of the sequel is better with less down time and more lunacy.
  • There are action sequences that are so implausible that I actually laughed out loud a number of times throughout the movie.
  • Jason Statham does have a degree of screen presence; he just needs to find better material.
  • While many of the stunts are ridiculous, there are a few segments that are actually quite well done- particularly a fight sequence involving a fire hose.
  • Trans 2 could be a pretty fun time with a bunch of people and an abundance of alcohol.

Lows
  • This movie is so ridulously over-the-top that it's almost an insult to the original Transporter...if that's possible.
  • The attempts at creating any real drama or emotion are completely washed away by how silly the rest of the movie is.
  • The character Tarconi is inexplicably turned into a bumbling idiot this time around. He also flies to Miami, stays for one night and then returns to France the following day for no apparent reason.
  • There's a scene at the end of the film involving an out-of-control airplane that features some of the worst special effects I've seen since those alligators in The Eraser.
  • Matthew Modine and his silly children's glasses.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother


Random related fact: A sequel was greenlit only after The Transporter posted strong sales on DVD.

Superman The Abuser

Sucker-punching women now? This is getting out of hand.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The Constant Gardener Review

(Introducing a new streamlined format. Hey, it's not like these things get published or anything.)

Highs
  • Better than Meirelles' previous film, City of God, and I liked that one too. More coherant and stronger character arcs.
  • Great pacing; the film really builds as it goes along.
  • Much like COG, some brilliant and unique camera work.
  • The film effectly turns the mirror around to its viewers and asks, "What are you going to do about this?"
  • Rachel Weisz continues to impress me.

Lows
  • I think the title probably throws off the general public. The film is much more engrossing than it sounds.
  • Probably should have been a winter release. Brainy films tend to get lost in the summer shuffle.

Torrey's Opinion:
Strongly Recommended
Recommended
A Mixed Bag
Sub-par
Don't Bother

Random related fact: Mike Newell was originally set to direct, but he dropped out after being offered Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn Is A Freakin' Loon

On the first day of John Roberts' confirmation hearings, Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK) pulled a Rodney King "Why can't we all just get along?" Coburn broke down in tears complaining, "When I ponder our country and its greatness, its weakness, its potential, my heart aches for less divisiveness, less polarization, less finger-pointing, less bitterness, less mindless partisanship."

Judging by his past deeds, Senator Coburn wants all of these things to end on the left, but not on the right. Take a look at the following statements made by the Oklahoma Senator:

Coburn on his 2004 opponent
"It's a battle of good vs. evil."

Coburn on the Oklahoma legislature
"You have a bunch of crapheads in Oklahoma City that have killed the vision of anybody wanting to invest in Oklahoma."

Coburn on doctors
"I favor the death penalty for abortionists and other people who take life."

Coburn on gun control
"If I wanted to buy a bazooka to use in a very restricted way, to do something, I ought to be able to do that."

Coburn on homosexuality
"The gay community has infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across the country, and they wield extreme power. Why do you think we see the rationalization for abortion and multiple sexual partners? That's a gay agenda."

It's also worth noting that shortly before speaking, Coburn was caught by news cameras working on a crossword puzzle tucked in his lap.

(from thinkprogress.org)

Blogger's Note: Coburn, I know what you must be thinking but we had no say in naming Jeff Gordon's pit crew the "Rainbow Warriors."

Saturday, September 17, 2005

One Of The Many Reasons Why I'm Not A Fan Of Kevin Smith

A quote from Roger Ebert:

"The year that "Clerks" played at the Cannes Film Festival, I was the chairman of a panel discussion of independent filmmakers. Most of them talked about their battles to stay free from Hollywood's playsafe strategies. But Kevin Smith cheerfully said he'd be happy to do whatever the studios wanted, if they'd pay for his films. At the time, I thought he was joking.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Superman The Glutton

More shocking revelations!

Your Words Amuse Me

Quote of Friday Night:

"It's kinda like Death Cab for Billy Joel."
-Chris explaining a new song by Harvey Danger called "Wine, Women and Song."

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

You Know They've Thought About It

Housewives, Take Me Away

NEW YORK (AP) -- In the eyes of viewers, reality television is not only a misnamed genre. It's a format wearing out its welcome.

Four out of five Americans say they think too many reality shows are on the air, according to an AP-TV Guide poll. Only four percent of respondents said there were not enough.

Few people believe there's much reality in reality TV: a total of 82 percent said the shows are either "totally made up" or "mostly distorted."
(from CNN.com)

Blogger's Note: I've been against reality programming since the first episode of Survivor aired. It's always been clear to me that nothing of value can come from it and the only thing reality TV accomplishes is fast cash for television execs and a dumbing down of society. Oh, it also succeeded in squashing countless potentially great creative programs under its thumb before they ever got a chance to get rolling. It's nice to see the dark cloud that has been hanging over television filter away to brighter days ahead. Thank you, Lost.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Big Plans

Plans, the newest album from Death Cab for Cutie, debuted in the No. 4 spot on The Billboard Top 200, beating out the likes of Hilary Duff, The Black Eyed Peas and Mariah Carey.

Blogger's Note: Justice is being served!

I've Unearted More Useful Information

You've probably noticed the letters YKK printed on your zippers before...they stand for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the largest zipper manufacturing company in the world.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

It's Like A Walk Down The Red Carpet

I stumbled across this website that "specialized" in Celebrity Look-Alikes. I'm sure these photographs will leave you as star-struck as I was.















Johnny Depp




















Catherine Zeta-Jones




















Bruce Willis




















Cameron Diaz















Arnold Schwarzenegger

Monday, September 05, 2005

Superman The Extortionist

Another entry in my on-going quest to prove that Superman is a jerk...

What Happened To Doug??!

This isn't the Doug I remember from high school...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

The Top 10 Gadgets Of All Time

tivo_remote.jpg
10. TIVO SERIES1, 1999

Like FedEx, Velcro, and Google, TiVo has joined that rare echelon of companies with names that have become synonymous with their industry. Today, we "tivo" instead of "tape," and 2 million TiVo enthusiasts have forgotten what TV commercials look like. Early TiVo units — manufactured by Philips, Sony, and others — were exorbitantly expensive (10 hours of recording cost $500), but competition with fellow upstart ReplayTV has steadily driven prices down. Now imagine what the world might be like had the product gone with its original name: "Teleworld."

atari.jpg
9. ATARI 2600, 1977

We've got two words to describe the majesty of this device: Yar's Revenge.

diamondRIO.jpg
8. DIAMOND MULTIMEDIA RIO 300, 1998

It seems like a lifetime ago, but it was just 1998 when Diamond Multimedia released the first portable flash MP3 player, prompting a lawsuit from the record industry claiming that any MP3 player facilitated piracy. It might have sported a paltry 32MB of memory, but the Rio 300 was the first shot in the digital music revolution.

palmpilot.jpg
7. U.S. ROBOTICS PILOT 1000, 1996

A string of companies tried to create handheld, pen-centric computers throughout the early 1990s, mostly to no avail. (Remember Zoomer? Neither does anyone else.) The Pilot 1000 was the first one to hit the sweet spot, and in so doing, it showed how successful simplicity and reliability could be. Despite successive name changes, many people still call their handhelds "Pilots" — a testament to the power a single product had to create an entire industry.

casio_camera.jpg
6. CASIO QV-10 DIGITAL CAMERA, 1996

Milestones in the digital camera world are astonishingly difficult to nail down. In the early 1990s, major camera manufacturers began tinkering with digital for the professional market. The first amateur digicams were notoriously bad, and it wasn't until Casio's QV-10 that consumers really thought they could give this digital business a go. The QV-10 could store up to 96 images with a resolution of up to 76,800 pixels on its 2MB of flash RAM, and offered a wacky newfangled LCD screen so that you could preview your pictures, which you could output to either your 486 or TV. All this for just $995! Pricey, but the QV-10 looked cool, worked reasonably well, and didn't have to be sent back to Casio for servicing that often. Digicams would be plagued with bugs and high prices for years to come, but the QV-10 really opened the door for digital cameras as a whole.

mouse.jpg
5. CDI MECHANICAL MOUSE MODEL 4-101, 1970

Though the mouse was invented by Douglas Engelbart in 1965, it took a good five years for the idea to catch on. Computer Displays made the mouse marketable with its three-button Mechanical Mouse 4-101.

motorola_startac.jpg
4. MOTOROLA STARTAC, 1996

Before the StarTAC, cell phones had become fashionable with teenagers and the belt-clip set, but it wasn't until this 3.1-ounce flip phone that people started to see the promise of a handset that could genuinely fit into your pocket. Far smaller than any phone that preceded it, the StarTAC was the ultimate status symbol of the late '90s and perhaps the best example of "geek chic" ever to exist. But most important, the StarTAC ushered in the wave of miniaturized phones, one that's still rolling today.

walkman2.jpg
3. SONY WALKMAN, 1979

We're not saying the iPod isn't one of the coolest devices ever made, but Apple's little music monster would never have been possible without Sony's groundbreaking Walkman. The brainchild of Sony cofounders Masaru Ibuka, Akio Morita, and Norio Ohga, this portable cassette tape player made the dream of a mobile music collection a generation-changing reality and put Sony in the technological catbird seat.

zenith_remote.jpg
2. ZENITH SPACE COMMAND TV REMOTE CONTROL, 1956

Remember having to get up off the couch to change the channel on the TV by hand? Of course you don't, thanks to Robert Adler's stunning breakthrough, the wireless remote control. Zenith had been meddling with remotes since 1950; its Lazy Bones remote (no, seriously, that's what it was called) simply ran to the TV with a wire. The first wireless remote came in 1955: The Flash-matic was basically a flashlight you shined at one of the TV's four corners, depending on whether you wanted to change the channel up or down. The problem: On sunny days, the TV would change channels by itself. In 1956, Adler had a better idea: Use ultrasonic sound to control the TV. His Space Command remote had four buttons that, when pressed, struck an aluminum rod located inside the unit. A receiver in the TV detected the sound, and depending on the pitch, changed channels or muted the volume. No batteries required. Various forms of ultrasonic technology were the standard all the way until the 1980s, when infrared took over.

powerbook100.jpg
1. APPLE POWERBOOK 100, 1991

Never mind the Apple versus PC debate: Until Apple unveiled this 5.1-pound machine, most "portable" computers were curiosities for technophiles with superior upper-body strength. But the PowerBook 100's greatest and most lasting innovation was to move the keyboard toward the screen, leaving natural wrist rests up front, as well as providing an obvious place for a trackball. It seems like the natural layout now, but that's because the entire industry aped Apple within months. The first PowerBooks captured an astounding 40 percent of the market, but more important, they turned notebook computers into mainstream products and ushered in the era of mobile computing that we're still living in today.

(from Mobile Magazine)