Why, Screech? Why??

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell."

(from New York Daily News)

Now THAT'S A Wedding Cake

Buffy's Successor

Well, it was a rocky start but much to Cookie's delight I can say after completing the first season that I am officially down with the VM.

Best Game Ever Conceived By Man Or Woman!

(okay probably not, but it's fun as hell.)

Most Deserving Of A "WTF?"

This is the god damnedest thing I've ever seen...

Crazy Xbox 360 Video

If anyone is able to translate just what the heck is going on here, please share it with the rest of us.

My Uncle Was A Master Debater

I've no idea if it's credible but I'm pleased with the results...

Congratulations, Torrey! Your IQ Score is 133.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Take The Classic IQ Test

Pick Flick

The 10 Best High School Movies Ever (according to the Entertainment Weekly I got in the mail this afternoon)

1. The Breakfast Club (1985)
2. Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
3. Dazed And Confused (1993)
4. Rebel Without A Cause (1955)
5. Heathers (1989)
6. American Graffiti (1973)
7. Clueless (1995)
8. Boyz N The Hood (1991)
9. Election (1999)
10. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
    

My Personal 10 Best High School Movies Ever

1. Election (1999)
   
2. Mean Girls (2004)
   
3. Rushmore (1998)
   
4. Pleasantville (1998)
   
5. Back To The Future (1985)
   
6. Donnie Darko (2001)
   
7. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
   
8. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
   
9. Sky High (2005)
   
10. The Breakfast Club (1985)
    

DelayStation

The following is a break-up letter to Sony from a rightfully teed-off European gamer whose country got the shaft yesterday regarding the launch of the Playstation 3.


Dear Sony: It's Over

I'm sorry that it's come to this, but there was really no other way for me to tell you how I feel. By the time you read this I will be gone. I realise now that it's over between us and has been for a long time now. It's time to stop this charade and admit that we're not right for each other and probably never were.

Remember back in May, when when you showed me that stupid wireless controller thing that nobody else wanted? That was a rough time for me, and all my friends told me that I should leave then, but I stuck it out and I thought we worked past it. I was determined that our future together with the Play Station 3 was going to be worth all the troubles. Blue Ray! Metal Gear Solid 4! It was such a beautiful dream and I wanted it to be true no matter what.

Then you unvieled the price. Six hundred fucking dollars! Do you even know how much that is? And then there's the exorbitant markup that you gave the European market. I can't afford that. Nobody I know can afford that. And then you tried to placate me with excuses about how it's cheaper than other things, like that fancy computer from Tron. And like a fool i believed you! I even put down a pre-order! Looking back now, I realise i was being naive and that you were just using me for cheap thrills. Well, no more.

Today was the breaking point. Delaying the PlayStation 3 to March 2007 because you couldn't make enough machines in time is the ultimate betrayal. Remember that slide show you put up at E3, Sony?

It said November 17.

Not March 2007.

And then there's the reduced American ship numbers and the paltry Japanese launch - how long until you start letting me down on those promises, too? I can't wait for you to show me any sign of commitment any more. It's over. I've returned my pre-order slip. The lies, the delays, the embarassing press conferences...I've had enough. You can keep your precious Japanese and American release dates. Your pathetic indifference to the promise you made to me about the November release date show you just don't care about my happiness. Fuck you, you selfish prick.

I've found someone else. They're reliable. They're here for me. They have a cool range of cheap games. Even that Assassins Creed game that was apparently just for you. It's an Xbox 360 and we're going to be happy together forever now that I'm finally rid of you.

Goodbye.

-The Angry Gamer
(angry-gamer.net)

Blogger's Note: It's beginning to look a lot like a Wii60 Christmas! (for gamers with any common sense, that is.)

Riddle Me This

"Carnival Trick"

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50."

The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.

In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?


If you think you know the solution, post it in the comments section. I will post the answer in 24 hour's time.

A Line From Scrubs That I Enjoy

"I would never compare you to the gays! I like the gays - I like their music, I like their sense of style, I especially like what they've done with Halloween."
-Dr. Cox