Intelligence Declines

Gaudy Or Festive: Round 5

Some Words From The Good Doctor

Just because I feel like it, I'm posting some great quotes I found today from the late Hunter S. Thompson.

"He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time." –on Richard Nixon

"Bush is a natural-born loser with a filthy-rich daddy who pimped his son out to rich oil-mongers. He hates music, football and sex, in no particular order, and he is no fun at all."

"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours."

"All we have to do is get out and vote, while it's still legal, and we will wash those crooked warmongers out of the White House."

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.”

“The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”

"Who are these Swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid little rich kids like George Bush? ..... They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and viscious in the American character.... I piss down the throats of these Nazis. And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck Them."

”Call on God, but row away from the rocks.”

King Kong Review

HIGHS

• It's not often that a movie comes along that trascends being just a 'movie' and actually becomes an event because of its enormity and weight. Kong is everything an adventure film should be and then some. Peter Jackson did an amazing job of weaving a flowing narrative along with non-stop action that slaps George Lucas down like the bitch that he is.
• A lot of critics will throw around the word "breathtaking" to describe a film but Kong actually has action scenes that do just that. From the dinosaur stampede to the chase through New York, the entire experience is like a runaway freight train. In this type of movie, if you can get the audience to gasp rather than groan you've done something right.
• Per usual, Jackson assembled a fine cast for this one. And as expected, Mr. Jack Black came through with flying colors as the smarmy Carl Denham.
• This version of Kong did a much better job of presenting the relationship that developed between Ann Darrow and the big ape. My impression from the 1933 Kong was that Darrow was simply terrified the entire time. In this new film we see them share moments together where they make actual emotional connections. The part were Darrow performs vaudeville acts for Kong was brilliant.
• I'm pretty sure this is one of the best film's I've seen in my lifetime.
  

LOWS

• That scene in the insect pit will no doubt terrify young children. Most unsettling it was.

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random related fact: On April Fools Day 2005, Peter Jackson created an elaborate practical joke, which he posted on a web diary at kongisking.net. He "revealed" that they were already starting production on King Kong: Son of Kong and King Kong: Into the Wolf's Lair. Both films, supposedly to be released in 2006, contained the principal characters riding the Son of Kong, strapping machine guns to his back and fighting Hitler's genetically mutated creatures. The films were going to be produced under the banner of "Big Primate Productions".

Stretch Armstrong Sheds A Single Tear

Forbes' Most Popular Toys Of The Past 100 Years

1900 - 1909: Crayola Crayons
1910 - 1919: Raggedy Ann Dolls
1920 - 1929: Madame Alexander Collectible Dolls
1930 - 1939: View-Master 3D Viewere
1940 - 1949: Candy Land
1950 - 1959: Mr. Potato Head
1960 - 1969: G.I. Joe
1970 - 1979: Rubik's Cube
1980 - 1989: Cabbage Patch Kids
1990 - 1999: Beanie Babies
2000 - present: Razor Scooter

Chris Brewer Presents:

Three Things You Probably Didn't Know About Back To The Future

1) The mall where Marty McFly meets Doc Brown for their time travel experiment is called "Twin Pines Mall". Doc Brown comments that old farmer Peabody used to own all of the land, and he grew pines there. When Marty goes back in time, he runs over and knocks down a pine tree on the Peabody's property. When he comes back to the mall at the end of the film, the sign at the mall identifies the mall as "Lone Pine Mall".

2) When Lorraine follows Marty back to Doc's house, she and Doc exchange an awkward greeting. This marks the only on-screen dialogue that Christopher Lloyd and Lea Thompson ever have, though they have appeared together in five movies and one TV movie.

3) In the French version, when Marty wakes up in 1955 in his young mother's bed, she calls him "Pierre Cardin" instead of "Calvin Klein". In the Italian version, she calls him "Levi Strauss".

Gaudy or Festive: Round 4

Let's see if we can have an incident-free round this time.

Like The Old Guy At The End Of Home Alone

I text messaged my buddy Chris this question the other day and now I'm curious to hear other people's responses...

If given the opportunity to hit any living celebrity in the face with a show shovel, who would you choose?

Torrey's Irrefutable Truths For The Week Of 12/11

A Bookstore Parking Lot Will Always Be Filled With Cars Sporting Liberal Bumper Stickers And Anti-"W" Logos
Why? Because liberals are fair-minded people who are open to interpretations beyond their own and who actually make an effort to educate themselves as to how the world works. The contrary to this would be conservatives who are close-minded people who only concern themselves with their own interpretations of things and who make no effort to educate themselves beyond the "What's Hot" book rack at Sam's Club.

The Name "Bo Bice" Is Very Unpleasant To Say
I don't know who this guy is, I don't know what kind of music he sings, I just know that his name is very displeasing to me.

Bringing Your Pet To The Mall To Have Its Picture Taken With Santa Is A Very Stupid Thing To Do
I'm not against the mall santa. I think it's cool if kids believe he's "the one" and want to talk to him and all that. That's harmless and cute and whatever. But not your pets, people. Your dog doesn't know who Santa is!! It is completely meaningless. Don't make these kids wait in line longer so your friggin terrier in a turtleneck can have its photo op.

People Shouldn't Forget About Parcheesi
I'm here to remind you that Parcheesi, the classic game of India, is a fun time for all. If you haven't played it since you were a kid, or maybe you've never played it at all, the time is now! You can typically find it for under $15 anywhere board games are sold. Parcheesi is good with two people but becomes increasingly enjoyable when three or four are involved. And the game is casual enough that conversations can still be held while playing. The only downside is that the fourth player has to be the water buffalo...and no one wants to be the water buffalo, especially, that's right, the water buffalo.

Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire Review

HIGHS

• The films are continuing to mature nicely along with the characters. Alfonso Cuaron really jumpstarted this with Azkaban and now Mike Newell is continuing the trend with Goblet.
• Great special effects that are essential to telling the story but don't try to over-impress. The dragon and black lake sequences were particularly well-done. On a somewhat related side note, I'm always impressed with the costume designers they get to work on these films.
• I like that these stories aren't afraid to put the kids in real peril. The tournament events are pretty intense and it comes across that Voldemort is a very credible threat. Were I in my early teens when movies like this were being made I would have been thrilled.
  
• I can't think of a better actor to play Voldemort than Ralph Fiennes. I mean, the guy looks like a snake without prosthetics.
  

LOWS

• While Goblet had more action and some nice moments between characters, Azkaban was more skillfully directed. Newell certainly does a decent job but the film jumps around a bit and feels more like a lot of indivudual scenes clumped together than a flowing narrative. In no way was I left feeling that an entire year had passed at the end of the film. Goblet is still worlds better than Chris Columbus' offerings, however.
• Inevitably, if you haven't read the books you're left needing your friends to eleborate on certain parts in the lobby afterwards while rabid passersby berate you for not having the neccessary knowledge prior to seeing the film. It's called being an individual, not a sheep, lady! The movies are as far as my interests go, I'm sorry. Now go home, feed your cats and polish your pewter Hufflepuff thimble set. (Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent there. And I know what many of you are thinking... the Gryffindor thimbles make a nicer set.)
  
• Moaning Myrtle returns.
  

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random related fact: The studio originally had the idea of adapting the 734 page book into two seperate films that would be released several months apart, much like what was done with Kill Bill. Alfonso Cuaron, the director of Azkaban, helped convince Mike Newell that enough of the book's bulky sub-plots could be cut to make one workable film.

Also, it might interest my buddy Schnepf that Jonny Greenwood and Phil Selway from Radiohead were both members of the band that performed at the Yule Ball.

The Tire Swing Project

Bryan, I'm not sure if you ever stop playing World of Warcraft long enough to visit my blog, but this post is for you.

Computer Predictions From The Past

(from pannikos.com)

Before many of us were born, the thought of owning a personal computer was inconceivable. With time, as computers were made more compact thanks to evolving technologies, this inconceivable thought became reality.We will now take a look back on these not so distant times and read what people had to say about the future of computers and see how wrong they were about their predicitions.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943

"While a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 10000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers of the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1.5 tons."
Popular mechanics, 1949

"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

'But what... is it good for?"
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems division of IBM, commenting on the microchip, 1968

"There is no reason why anyone would want a computer in the home."
Ken Olson, Present, Chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977

"640K should be enough for anybody."
Bill Gates, 1981

Walk The Line Review

HIGHS

• I've always had something of a fascination with Johnny Cash but I've never known a great deal about his life. This film helped to quench my curiousity.
• Fantastic performances by Joaquin Phoenix as Cash and Reese Witherspoon as June Carter. Especially Pheonix; he goes far beyond simple mimicry and succeeds in a completely believable transformation into "The Man in Black."
• Great interweaving of story and music done by T-Bone Burnett (O Brother, Where Art Thou?). Both fans of Cash and newcomers alike should be pleased with the selections.
• If Jamie Foxx was deserving of an Oscar for Ray, then Joaquin Phoenix deserves two for Walk the Line. Unlike Foxx, he actually performed all of the music numbers in the film and learned to play the guitar from scratch.
• For people who aren't familiar with Johnny Cash's legacy, this film could entice them to seek out his prodigious body of work. I know it certainly prompted me to look up some choice tunes I hadn't listened to in awhile.
• Will make you forget all about that terrible, terrible The Village. If you hadn't already. If you had I'm sorry to bring it back up again.

LOWS

• The film could have done a better job with pacing, but when you're making a biopic there's only so many liberties that can be taken while still keeping true to actual events. You can't just start re-writing the man's history.
• I would have liked to have seen more attention paid to the effects Cash's music had on a nation-wide audience. We really don't get a good sense of just how popular his songs were becoming with people who didn't reside in penitentiaries.
• My friend Chris tells me that Johnny Cash actually hand-picked Joaquin Phoenix to play him in Walk the Line. It's a shame he couldn't see the finished product before he passed away.
• It's almost creepy at times how much Phoenix looks and sounds like Cash at various points throughout the film. I guess that's not so much a "low" as it is a "holy cow, that's almost creepy."

Torrey's Opinion:
5- Strongly Recommended
4- Recommended
3- A Mixed Bag
2- Sub-par
1- Don't Bother

Random related fact: Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix both went through six months of vocal training with music producer T-Bone Burnett.

Why Can't I Own A Canadian?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Gaudy Or Festive: Round 3

Let the voting begin!

Hey JC, Take A Hike

We all get so wrapped up in the holidays this time of year; here are some random day-long celebrations that are happening from now through the end of December that can serve as simple little diversions and have nothing to do with Jesus, dreidels or anything else along those lines.

December 5 is... Bathtub Party Day
December 6 is... National Gazpacho Day
December 7 is... Letter Writing Day
December 8 is... National Brownie Day
December 9 is... International Shareware Day
December 10 is... Human Rights Day
December 11 is... National Noodle Ring Day (some of these are open to interpretation)
December 12 is... Gingerbread House Day
December 13 is... Violins Day
December 14 is... National Bouillabaisse Day
December 15 is... Day of the Underdog
December 16 is... National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
December 17 is... National Maple Syrup Day
December 18 is... Bake Cookies Day
December 19 is... Oatmeal Muffin Day
December 20 is... Sacagawea Day
December 21 is... Look at the Bright Side Day
December 22 is... Abilities Day
December 23 is... Roots Day
December 24 is... National Dairy Beverage Day
December 25 is... National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is... National Whiners Day
December 27 is... Make Cut-Out Snowflakes Day
December 28 is... Card Playing Day
December 29 is... No Interruptions Day (this one's a challenge)
December 30 is... Festival of Putting Things Off to the Last Minute
December 31 is... Make Up Your Mind Day

Scene Caps II

In case you don't remember the rules:

There are five scenes below from various films. The first person to identify all five correctly is the winner. The answers will be given once people have had a sufficient amount of time to post their guesses. Begin!

Can I Still Call Someone An Indian-Giver?

Here is a recent listing of politically correct words and phrases to come about this year according to the Global Language Monitor. Please make a note of it.

• "thought shower" replaces "brainstorming" so as not to offend people with brain disorders
• "deferred success" replaces "failure" so as not to embarrass those who don't succeed
• "misguided criminal" replaces "terrorist", at least according to the British Broadcasting Corporation
• "intrinsic aptitude" is a phrase introduced by Harvard University President Lawrence Summers to explain why women might be underrepresented in engineering and science. It turns out that this phrase was met with a significant amount of "deferred success" and Summers found himself fighting to keep his job.
• "out of the mainstream" is used to describe the ideology of any political opponent
• "womyn" is to be used in place of "women" in order to distance the word from men
• C.E. (Common Era) should be used instead of A.D. (Latin for "Year Of Our Lord") so as to be more neutral in dates
• And finally, in the spirit of the season, the phrase "God Rest Ye Merry Persons" replaces "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and "Seasons Greetings" officially replaces "Merry Christmas"

Blogger's Note: Hey, what's the politically correct phrase for "eat me?" I mean c'mon, I'm a liberal guy but I think that whole "womyn" business is just asinine. Are there no bigger problems in the world that need fixing?

The Best Paper Airplane In The World

Some college kids from the UK came up with a paper airplane design they are calling "The Best Paper Airplane in the World." You can find the instructions here.