Top Ten Best Things About The Golden Girls

Every so often I meet someone who just isn't able to fully understand what it is about The Golden Girls that I find so gosh darned appealing. To those people, I hope this article helps...


10. Sixty and Still Gettin' Some

The ladies of Miami Beach didn't sit around playing bridge. Yeah, I could go on and on about how The Golden Girls was well-written and smart and so on, and sure, it most certainly was. But one of the show's best qualities was that it proved that mature ladies still have sex, want sex, and enjoy sex. The fact that this show promoted that thought was nothing short of revolutionary at the time. Plus, it was just funny as Hell to witness Blanche bed everyone from a shoe salesman to Santa Claus.

9. Some of the Best One-Liners in Network Television History

My gay male friends and I have often gone head to head in Golden Girls quote-offs (I always emerge defeated, of course), but seriously, who can forget "I see little orbs of sunshine in a bag!" and "Like the fatal blossom of the jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance, but can provide no succor." And there's always "Oh I do! I do believe in sluts," "I lost Butter Queen, haven't I suffered enough?" and "I know I'm not dreaming because there are no boy dancers." Still want more? I don't blame you.

8. Gay-Friendly Before It Was Hip

Consider this: Dorothy's old friend, a lesbian, falling for Rose ("Lesbian, Blanche, not Lebanese!"), Blanche's brother Clayton bringing his boyfriend to visit, or the girls speaking honestly about HIV at a time when many were still afraid to touch people with AIDS. It's no surprise then that The Golden Girls has rightly earned a strong following among gay people, especially men, since it first aired. (I'm pretty sure the catty one-liners have something to do with it, too.) Television in the '80s was still trying to figure out how to tackle the topic of homosexuality, but The Golden Girls pulled it off just right without ever getting preachy or breaking away from the humor that made the show famous.

7. Cheesecake

A better ad for cheesecake than The Golden Girls? I don't think so. Not only were our sassy gal pals gettin' some, they weren't afraid to chow down either. Sure, they fretted about their weight every once in a while, but they knew that there weren't any problems they couldn't solve by sitting around the kitchen table and pulling out a Sara Lee. Yum.

6. Catching Glimpses of Random Celebrities Who Were Not Yet Celebrities While Watching Reruns

True, we didn't know it at the time, but Miss Hipster herself Jenny Lewis once played a conniving Sunshine Girl on the double G, and a very young George Clooney had several scenes as a cop on stakeout at the gals' pad. (Blanche tucks him in at night, but don't worry...no hanky panky.) There was even a famous blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment with Quentin Tarantino as an Elvis impersonator.

5. Stories from Sicily, St. Olaf, Brooklyn, or the Deep South

Why didn't my grandmothers tell me stories like this? No, all I ever heard about was escaping Communist Cuba and how hard it was to work as a seamstress to put my father through school, blah blah blah. Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche each had their own territory to mine as they spun stories that were homey, bawdy, and hilarious all at once, creating the real heart of the show. Answer me this: Can you shoot a herring out of a cannon?

4. The Girls in Hot Pants!

Whether dressed in top hats and dancing in the hospital or just gettin' funky in their own living room, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and even Sophia (hey, she was in a pizza commercial once) were always looking for creative outlets, from dressing up as Chicken Little and pals to staging a talent-filled telethon to save a lighthouse. Moments like these reminded us that Estelle Getty, Betty White, Rue McClanahan, and Bea Arthur were not just quick with a joke, but were (and are) truly legendary performers.

3. It Taught Me About Menopause

I still vividly remember sitting in the basement with my parents watching the famous menopause episode and feeling intensely uncomfortable as the girls discussed Blanche's change of life. ("Menopause was wonderful for me!" "I never had PMS, but I had a BMW," and so on.) Still, I'm glad I watched it because it is truly how I came to understand that the concept of menopause even existed...and you thought PBS was the only educational programming out there.

2. It Also Taught Me What a Lanai Was

Until The Golden Girls, I never knew what a lanai was. To be fair, I'm actually still not sure. I think it might just be a fancy name for porch. Either way, I aim to get one when I grow up.

1. A Lady Always Knows When to Leave

Sure, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia weren't super-refined, but they were still ladies in my book, and ladies always know when it's time to say farewell. Okay, yes, I know about the ill-fated Golden Palace spin-off (starring Don Cheadle, seriously), but in my mind, The Golden Girls was Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose, and it ended at just the right time. It didn't linger on (ER anyone?) or start filling the schedule with a million Very Special Episodes (ER anyone?). After Dorothy married Leslie Nielsen and embraced her gal pals in one final hug, we knew it was the end of a perfect era.

(from heartlessdoll.com)